People You Don't Know But Really Miss Anyway When They Go

In watching the outpouring of sadness over Leonard Nimoy's passing, I got to wondering about the profound effects that we can have on others and that others can have on us, whether in small ways or in large, and how we can collectively, across all other boundaries, agree that some people really speak to us.

We all in life, lose people who are dear to us. Family. Friends. Teachers. Loves. The grief and the sadness and the holes those people leave in our lives are a given. We had a personal and tangible connection with them and to them. It makes sense.

But what about the people we miss who are not our friends or our family? Those who live in our lifetimes and touch our lives in the intangible ways and seem to leave gaping holes in the universe, well, universally, when they make their transition from this plane to the next?

The people we didn't know but who made a contribution to the world or just to us personally. And whether their contribution was in science or in film or in their humanitarian efforts or simple commentary, doesn't matter as much as what they said to us personally. Or those who just plain made us laugh or think or cry and touched one of us or many of us for a myriad of reasons.

This doesn't relate to hero worship of pop or sports stars as much as to how someone touches us in a positive way, in a cerebral and more fundamental way. How they become part of our individual or collective consciousness and spirit and weave their way into our very soul.

The people who, even though we are thankful that they left us something to remember them by, for what they left us, we grieve because they were or are own personal heroes, flaws and all. People who we found something in, solace or inspiration, hope or joy, and when they left us, it just shook us in a way we didn't expect.

Maybe we grieve maybe because they won't be able to do that anymore despite having left us what they did. Maybe we're sad that all we have of them is in our memories and can now just hope that these things they left behind, their ideas or irreverence or kindness, made enough of a spark to sustain us and to carry us on.

And sometimes when they go, we find that they also affected a lot of other people this way. Sometimes it's only just you. It's not as if they were part of your daily life. You may not have thought of them for months or even years. But then, all of a sudden, when they;re not here anymore, it's like a wake up. and you reflect, and you grieve, and you miss what just won't be there anymore. And you begin to get sad more because there won't be anymore.

There may be no logical reason that someone's passing strikes a cord in us deeply. We know they were only human, not perfect. We don't even necessarily agree with all they said or did or were just singing or acting or parroting someone else's words or one someone else's mission or that some may say had a nefarious agenda. But we don't care about that though. We miss them anyway.

These are my top five. I didn't know them. I wish I knew them. They'd be who I picked to have dinner with. And who I wish were still here giving us more.


And I hate it that my list keeps getting longer and that so few seem to be filling those holes that, at least, I personally am left with. I need and the world probably needs more heroes too.

Carl Sagan

Warren Zevon

Mother Theresa

George Carlin

Leonard Nimoy


Who do you miss that you didn't really know? Who would you pick to have dinner with?

a reply to: ~Lucidity

Beautiful post, Lucid.

Could it be that fear of sadness is what drives us to achieve greater things? I wonder. Perhaps this is the emotion which drives mankind to build the highest monuments, to make a mark on the universe before they die, to defeat death itself. Perhaps it is what drives Man to make an eternal gift before departing.

Because in the end, men are not defined by what they are, but by what they do.

I used to pass a very elderly gentleman who shined shoes each day in the lobby of my building as I went on my way to work. He always had a smile or kind word. He always stopped to assist anyone who may have had their hands full or tripped or whatever. He always new what was going on when there was activity, drama or some sort of festivity. He seemed to know everyone.

Then one day he was just gone. And the world was diminished for me for a long while afterwards...it just felt lonelier.

I miss my grandad. He was a quiet man who taught me how to flyfish and fix and build things.

He left some tools to me and I think of him whenever I use them.

Wish I'd known him better.

The first person that came to my mind was JFK . I remember being on the school bus and someone flagged the bus to stop and told the driver about the assassination . I didn't know much about him at the time but can remember the effects it had on the adults that were speaking about it at the time . Just typing into google brings up About 52,600,000 results . I sometimes wonder about the man and what might have come to be with America had he finished his term and left to influence the country . I fail to imagine any of the bad things about him personally contributing in a negative way to the country he loved .

Thinking about it , I would almost bet that ATS may not exist had it not been for JFK .911 may never have happened and most of the crap we see going on in the world would look much different . thanks for the thread and allowing me to express a feeling that has hovered next to my hear all these years .

a reply to: ~Lucidity


St. Steve Irwin!

He wasn't a philosopher or political ideologist and didn't create music or great Art. What he did was bring lots of love and kindness to his family, wildlife, environment and his fans in the general public. His skewering by the ray was one of the first times I'd ever felt true sadness at the death of someone famous. To me, he represented the very best example of a working class man and he was a crazy bastard too lol He was a rare public figure whose death brought only tributes

Amy Winehouse, Iain M Banks are another two that spring to mind from recent years. I feel robbed of a Winehouse album and western culture lost one of its most creative minds in Banks.

On a political level, I miss someone like Thomas Paine or Karl Marx. Not because I agree with their ideologies (maybe some), but because we've had the same garbage political system for years and need a change of thinking to try and inject more fairness. It's a con to say that change comes from the masses, it really comes from charismatic people who have access to the elites. A shiny new figure with novel ideas is long overdue.

a reply to: the2ofusr1
That's a poigniant one.

a reply to: swanne
Thank you. And what you said was beautiful too.

"Because in the end, men are not defined by what they are, but by what they do."

And who they touch. Doesn't really matter how many or how few but that they did.


a reply to: kosmicjack
You make an excellent point here. The people we miss and really don't know don't have to be famous at all.

a reply to: Kandinsky

Steve Irwin may not have been a philosopher, but he had a wonderful and simple philosophy.

Gotta be comedian actor Rik Mayall for me...


Still in shock that he's gone.

a reply to: CharlieSpeirs

Politically...

Benazir Bhutto...



A true Martyr, worthy of the title...

I was so distraught when Uncle Phil passed away (James Avery), it was around the time Nelson Mandela died but it didn't affect me as much.....does that make me a bad person?

a reply to: ~Lucidity

I'm really liking the quoted pictures...

Are you creating them Lucidity?

a reply to: CharlieSpeirs

Merci. And oui And I hadn't forgotten about her...she's probably in my top 10. Thank you for the reminder.

a reply to: ~Lucidity

Well thank you for those, I have saved them into my photo album if that's ok...

a reply to: Prezbo369
No, It makes you a person who found value in what he had to say and in what he did.



This one I just rearranged.

Best friend of 20 years. Ranger,he was REALLY intelligent.
Shot himself.
I tried to get him to move in with myself and my wife but his pride wouldn't let him and his demons took over.

a reply to: CharlieSpeirs

The are on the interwebz, so now they are free




a reply to: cavtrooper7
I'm very sorry for your loss. Was he a vet?

Here you go, anonymous person.