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originally posted by: Bluesma
originally posted by: Spider879
Ladies I would like to get your perspective on this, not putting you on the hot seat or anything and you don't have to agree or disagree is there an angle we maybe missing.
I'll put in my two cents, as a woman.
I think the system is completely screwed up in the US. (I don't know about Australia, which was mentioned).
I had a child in the US, the father decided after the birth that he didn't want to be part of it's life, as he had daddy issues of his own. I was fine raising my child alone.
Came to find out the father had been pulled through a court hearing that I had not been made aware of, which obligated him to pay child support- which went entirely to the state.
I did what I could for him, which was limited to signing his income taxes each year, so he could claim the child as dependent (though he did not see or know the child).
Years later, I found out he had tried to escape the child support by running off to another state, was found by the authorities after a few years, and made to pay a huge amount in back support. At that time I was living in France, married. I contacted the DA to proclaim I did not need or want him to pay any child support (it wasn't going to me anyway). I was told it really isn't any of my business and I have no say in it.
The system is so screwed up- I see men wailing that it is women abusing them in all this, and I say back- BS! It is the government just trying to fill their coffers.
But whenever we come across such things in our system, that we don't like, it is necessary to look at the ideas, values and principles they are sourced in. It is our american focus on individual responsibility (as contrasted with collective responsibility). One cannot holler against this sort of thing and simultaneously against "socialist" concepts as exist in Europe. It is self contradicting. We sometimes do not see how we are creating problems for ourselves, because we don't see the connection.
originally posted by: LittleByLittle
originally posted by: Xtrozero
originally posted by: LittleByLittle
America just cannot seem to implement reasonable laws like the rest of the western and north Europe can.
What country are you from and how much taxes do you pay for all that Gov support?
Sweden
Direct tax on salary 31%, 25% vat on most things we buy. More when you add the pension money that the corporations have to pay above our salary. If you have a higher salary the tax jumps up.
originally posted by: infinityorder
a reply to: Spider879
Ya the child support system is messed up.
I still have to pay child support, even though my kids live with me.
The oldest is 14 he has lived with me for all but 1 year of his life.
When we went to court over child support when he was 3, I had receipts to prove I had paid child support on him.
The judge said since child support wasn't ordered it was a gift.
Then charged me 1 year back support for not paying child support.
I was floored. I said judge, I did pay here is the proof, the boys mother even tried to tell them I paid, and did not want or deserve back support.
They didn't care. They put a tax lean on everything I own immediately.
She and I have both tried to end the support order many times since.
They will not.
Makes no sense at all.
originally posted by: StoutBroux
As you stated you were fine raising your child on your own, did you receive any public assistance of any kind for you or your child? The reason I ask is it seems the state is taking money they are not entitled to if you didn't. That should be a law suit if so. If they took money from the father, they should either reimburse themselves for expenses for you and your child or they give the money to the custodial parent for raising the child.
originally posted by: Anyafaj
He won't help pay $20 a month for his daughter's cell phone because he feels 19 is too young for a cell phone. ???? No, the truth? He wants to continue being a jerk to her and to I. Even her caseworker said she's responsible enough and mature enough and sees no reason for him to continue his game. I might actually go to court and get a child support order just for the amount of her cell phone bill. You don't want to help your daughter? Now you HAVE to.
originally posted by: Nyiah
originally posted by: Anyafaj
He won't help pay $20 a month for his daughter's cell phone because he feels 19 is too young for a cell phone. ???? No, the truth? He wants to continue being a jerk to her and to I. Even her caseworker said she's responsible enough and mature enough and sees no reason for him to continue his game. I might actually go to court and get a child support order just for the amount of her cell phone bill. You don't want to help your daughter? Now you HAVE to.
o.O
I hope to high hell you made a typo & mean she's ten years old, and not actually nineteen. I'm aware of some people extending support orders into the early 20's, situations depending, but if you're trying to court-order your ex to pay for a 19 year old woman's phone bill...that's another gaping flaw in the system that needs to be fixed, as far as I'm concerned.
originally posted by: Nyiah
a reply to: Anyafaj
Ah, see, context matters a lot. You didn't mention her condition in the thread, or what I assume from reading the description is a mutually agreed upon arraignment for care. Your case would be one of the extended support situations I've heard of being extended into adulthood, correct?
originally posted by: Spider879
Ladies I would like to get your perspective on this, not putting you on the hot seat or anything and you don't have to agree or disagree is there an angle we maybe missing.