Gender Dysphoria, Cuervo, and ATS

a reply to: TzarChasm

Im sorry i misunder stood. Its ok.

@cuervo. yeah maybe one day when things work out.

originally posted by: Benevolent Heretic

originally posted by: Cuervo
Love you guys!

I love you, too. Always have.

This literally made me tear up a bit. Wasn't expecting that, thank you.

originally posted by: Cuervo
Cuervo is a transwoman. To any mods, I wouldn't mind if this could be used as a good excuse to change my ATS name to my new one (hint hint).

I was just wondering... what would your new (ATS) name be? Cause it feels wrong seeing you/thinking of you as Cuervo, considering you mentioned a new name. I mean, we've probably never interacted before, but just in case we do in the future, I'd like to refer to you in the right way.

originally posted by: LukeDAP

originally posted by: Cuervo
Cuervo is a transwoman. To any mods, I wouldn't mind if this could be used as a good excuse to change my ATS name to my new one (hint hint).

I was just wondering... what would your new (ATS) name be? Cause it feels wrong seeing you/thinking of you as Cuervo, considering you mentioned a new name. I mean, we've probably never interacted before, but just in case we do in the future, I'd like to refer to you in the right way.

That's very kind of you to ask. "Cuervo" is rather gender-neutral so it doesn't bother me, anyway, as it's the word for a very important animal to me.

As far as what I'll be changing it to, legally, I'll tell you the shortened version of it: "Abby". The long version is rather unusual and in the interest of remaining somewhat anonymous until I'm well into my transition, I'll stay a little silent about it. Once I legally change my identity (both gender and name), I'll tell you guys the full version of it.

a reply to: Cuervo

I speak Portuguese, which is VERY similar to Spanish, but (and I'm ashamed to admit this) I've never thought that Cuervo was related to the animal (corvo in Portuguese and... I think it's raven in English? All I can remember now is Poe!), shows how much I pay attention to stuff around here.

A little bit of anonymity is definitely a good idea, we never know what kind of crazy people are lurking about... But thanks for the quick reply, it's good to know you're Abby, even though you're okay with "Cuervo" as well!

a reply to: Cuervo

Thank you for sharing this with us. It takes a lot of courage. Good for you. I'm so glad you have support from your wife.

a reply to: Cuervo

Hey more power to you.

Growing up I was a fem. I dont have gender dysphoria. I was just the only boy in my family besides my dad who was never really home. Grandmothers, sisters, aunts...no brothers, no uncles, no grandfathers, no male cousins besides two in another country. I had mostly female friends too. I only had one male friend until HS. This was my reference for life. I did not know how to properly "boy".

So I used to try to "man up" too. I know what you are talking about. I found my peace early on. I didnt have to go through anything too complicated once I was left to my own devices. As a kid it was rough affirming my identity though. I figured it out for the most part by freshman year of HS. I couldnt imagine going through all that for longer than I did. I admire you for enduring what you have. I am not saying that I am even close to understanding what someone like yourself has to go through. I am just saying I have a little port hole into the experience.

I never completely lost my effeminate side. It has just merged with my male side and now both are expressed without issue. I am damn manly and very tough...LOL *scratches crotch and spits....but I can also cry shamelessly at a sad story and am a great listener. *dabs on some moisturizer.

So yeah. Like I said, more power to you. I am glad you are on your way to where you want to be. Its just fantastic that your wife understands, and I am proud of you for being brave enough to let it all show.

Bless you, good luck and rock on.

Hold it down.

originally posted by: tadaman
a reply to: Cuervo
Hold it down.

If only that worked!


Seriously, though, thanks for sharing. Your experience is valuable and, even if can't totally relate, you are in a position that many people of either gender could learn from; that of being a genuine human. That's priceless.

a reply to: Cuervo

Cuervo,

You are cool with me. I am glad you made the decision to be you instead of forcing yourself to live as someone else. I'm bad with words, as anyone who sees my posts can attest, but I have a good friend who is going through something similar to what you are and is just beginning to take the steps to make changes in his life to reflect his true personality.

My friend is the typical tough guy, he's a building contractor and runs his own business.

Anyways, he asks me over for a typical summer BBQ and says he has something to tell me. I figure it's news that he and his wife are expecting or something along those lines.

SO I'm attending to the BBQ grill drinking a beer checking up on the meat. He waits until nobody is around me and approaches. He sheepishly tells me after some prodding by his wife, who's standing next to him for support incase I spazz on him or something, that he enjoys cross dressing and wanted to tell me because he wanted to start to open up to some of his friends and I was the only one he felt comfortable coming out about it. That he felt more comfortable around the house dressed as a woman and wasn't sure what it meant about his gender identification. I'm fairly open minded and most of his friends are hardcore "Manly guys" so I can see why he was terrified to tell any of his friends. And he took a risk telling me. What if I took it badly and betrayed his trust and told the rest of his friends or even gossiped about it.

He sits there a worried look over his face waiting for my response. I look at him then I look at the BBQ and then I look back at him and say. "So Medium, or medium rare for your steak?" And then I hand him a beer. He says "did you hear what I just said?" I respond " Yeah, so what? You're still my best friend. " And we've still been good friends ever since. The look of relief on his face was priceless though. I keep his secret for him and he's happy knowing that someone out there other than his wife knows and accepts him.

I'm personally happy to see you make the decision you have. You're cool with me Cuervo. You too Tadman. I've always enjoyed your posts too.

Hi Cuervo,

I saw this and thought you might like it.



This is a oldie I have posted before, but it's for you to as well I guess.





Wi~fi

a reply to: Cuervo

and a hell of a woman you are

I have only participated in a few of your threads, but I've loved the approaches you bring and have seen other posts of yours. I was born physically and chemically as a man and am fine with that. I work with a local city project that helps people change their government assigned gender and personally assigned name (if that part applies) and it's amazing how much of a difference it makes for even one person to use the proper pronoun without any "but/except" of any sort or without any accusations or projection.

Just be as you are. I will always treat those around me as who THEY are. It is not my decision to tell another that they are a HE or SHE when they truly are not inside.

What's outside? Doesn't mean jack to me as soon as that person tells me who they really are

Isn't that the way it should be? Be kind/accepting to anyone until their OWN personal and singular actions wrong you? And even if that DOES happen, not to generalize a whole community for the actions of one?

Well...I wish it were that way universally

Thank you

I know this is late but I just wanted to give you a big *hug* of support from another girl born differently on ATS.

a reply to: Cuervo

Never be ashamed of who you are.

a reply to: Cuervo

Heya Cuervo!

I just NOW saw this thread (doh!), but found it because you had alluded to it in a recent thread of mine, and figured you'd likely made a thread about it.

So - now it is nearly six months into your journey - and I have a couple of questions for you:

I read the entire thread, and I'm very happy for you to be finding peace of mind. Fantastic about your wife's support! Nevertheless, may I ask, how old is your child? Are they aware of this yet? And (not to be rude, because it's an old manners thing to not ask a woman....but how old are you?)

And final remark: I LOVE your new avatar. Absolutely brilliant, and beautiful. Of the few avys I've seen of you, this one has a face that resembles one that I'm pretty sure was a portrait/photo of the real you.....

are you an artist, or did a friend create this avy OF YOU and FOR YOU?
It reminds me of a member who's not around much anymore - username: A boy in a dress....
Fabulous artist, hilarious writer, and real gem of a person.

Oh, and PS: I love you, too! One of the most thoughtful and calming members on here, in my opinion.


So - now that you are further down the road, how's progress? And, I'm glad you are still "Cuervo". Your persona in my mind doesn't need to change her name - but how would you like to be addressed now? As she or as they or as Cuervo (not that I talk about you a lot - just wanted to know what your preference is in light of all I've learned recently)

I'm in the middle of writing a topic about Gender and Gender-Identities and just saw this topic, i'm sorry i'm late to reply....You know you have my full love and support...

originally posted by: BuzzyWigs
a reply to: Cuervo
I read the entire thread, and I'm very happy for you to be finding peace of mind. Fantastic about your wife's support! Nevertheless, may I ask, how old is your child? Are they aware of this yet? And (not to be rude, because it's an old manners thing to not ask a woman....but how old are you?)

Thank you! Our daughter is six and she's totally aware. I'm 35. My goal is to hit my 40's with all of this behind us.

originally posted by: BuzzyWigs
And final remark: I LOVE your new avatar. Absolutely brilliant, and beautiful. Of the few avys I've seen of you, this one has a face that resembles one that I'm pretty sure was a portrait/photo of the real you.....

I actually chose this because of the similarity. I've lost some drastic weight since I decided to survive and I'm getting around that size. Damn muscles take forever to shed. The picture itself is one I found on a Pinterest board so I can't take any credit for it.

originally posted by: BuzzyWigs
Oh, and PS: I love you, too! One of the most thoughtful and calming members on here, in my opinion.

Reciprocated feelings, for sure!

originally posted by: BuzzyWigs
So - now that you are further down the road, how's progress? And, I'm glad you are still "Cuervo". Your persona in my mind doesn't need to change her name - but how would you like to be addressed now? As she or as they or as Cuervo (not that I talk about you a lot - just wanted to know what your preference is in light of all I've learned recently)

Progress is going great in light of my expectations. I'm taking a very organic approach in the sense that I present according to my progress. Right now, I'm still in the cocoon phase of my journey.

Pronouns I view in the same way. I don't correct people nor insist they use a particular one for now. In a couple of years, I don't plan on having to correct anybody except for those who know my history and are trying to hurt me. Obviously, I prefer "she" as that's what I am but, until I'm further along in my transition, I don't hold it against anybody who isn't misgendering me just to be a jerk.

a reply to: Cuervo

Thanks. Wow. You really are an admirable person. (And the avy is SO YOU!! I really liked your last one, too, btw)

All the best regards, and thanks for the thread.

S/F