Wife's Ultimatum: Get Rid of Newborn With Down Syndrome or Get Divorced. He Chose...

originally posted by: Forensick

originally posted by: jude11

It just makes me even more aware that this little guy is going to see all this one day and could very well be hurt to the core..

He has got Downs Syndrome pal, I doubt very well he will ever be mentally mature enough to comprehend this.

Wrong:

Individuals with Down syndrome are becoming increasingly integrated into society and community organizations, such as school, health care systems, work forces, and social and recreational activities. Individuals with Down syndrome possess varying degrees of cognitive delays, from very mild to severe. Most people with Down syndrome have cognitive delays that are mild to moderate.

Due to advances in medical technology, individuals with Down syndrome are living longer than ever before. In 1910, children with Down syndrome were expected to survive to age nine. With the discovery of antibiotics, the average survival age increased to 19 or 20. Now, with recent advancements in clinical treatment, most particularly corrective heart surgeries, as many as 80% of adults with Down syndrome reach age 60, and many live even longer.

More and more Americans are interacting with individuals with Down syndrome, increasing the need for widespread public education and acceptance. - See more at: www.ndss.org...

I guess I assumed too much thinking that most people knew DS comes in varying levels with varying levels of cognitive abilities.

Do you actually know anything about DS?

Alsabbagh, DannyDanny Alsabbagh Actor who played Toby in Summer Heights High. Australia

Barbanell, EdwardEdward Barbanell Actor who starred in The Ringer United States

Brewer, JamieJamie Brewer Actress, best known for her role Adelaide "Addie" Langdon in the horror TV series American Horror Story: Murder House and Nan in American Horror Story: Coven. United States

Burke, ChrisChris Burke Actor and folk singer, best known for his role in Life Goes On as character Charles "Corky" Thacher. United States

Darwin, Charles WaringCharles Waring Darwin Youngest child of Charles and Emma Darwin. United Kingdom

de Gaulle, AnneAnne de Gaulle Youngest child of Charles and Yvonne de Gaulle. France

Goksøyr, Marte WexelsenMarte Wexelsen Goksøyr Actress, playwright, writer and disability rights activist. Norway

Duquenne, PascalPascal Duquenne Actor who won the Best Actor Award at the 1996 Cannes Film Festival for his role in The Eight Day. Belgium

Friedman, Andrea FayAndrea Fay Friedman Actor and voice actor who portrayed Amanda in Life Goes On and Ellen in the Family Guy episode "Extra Large Medium". United States

Gaffney, KarenKaren Gaffney Special Olympian, swimmer and president of the disability rights organization the Karen Gaffney Foundation. She is the first living person with Down syndrome to receive an honorary doctorate degree. United States

Gerrier, MarinMarin Gerrier Actor who was nominated for a Genie Award for his role in Café de Flore.

Gordy, SarahSarah Gordy Actress who has appeared in Upstairs Downstairs and Call the Midwife. United Kingdom

Jensen, SandraSandra Jensen Patient who was initially denied a heart-lung transplant by the Stanford University School of Medicine in California because she had Down syndrome. After pressure from disability rights activists, Stanford University School of Medicine administrators reversed their decision. In 1996, Jensen became the first person with Down syndrome to receive a heart-lung transplant. United States

Jessop, TommyTommy Jessop Actor who starred in BBC drama Coming Down the Mountain and played Hamlet professionally with Blue Apple Theatre. United Kingdom

Laz-D Rapper

Moss, JoeyJoey Moss Edmonton Oilers locker room attendant. Canada

Pineda, PabloPablo Pineda Actor who starred in the semi-autobiographical film Yo También and first student with Down syndrome in Europe to obtain a university degree. Spain

Potter, LaurenLauren Potter Actress who played Becky Jackson in Glee. She was also nominated by Barack Obama onto the The President's Committee for People with Intellectual Disabilities. United States

Sage, PaulaPaula Sage Film actress and Special Olympics netball athlete. Her role in the 2003 film AfterLife brought her a BAFTA Scotland award for best first time performance and Best Actress in the Bratislava International Film Festival, 2004. United Kingdom

Scott, JudithJudith Scott Outsider sculptor and fiber artist. United States

Sepponen, SannaSanna Sepponen Actress and Special Olympian, known for her role in Salatut elämät

Tim, the "Oldenburg Baby" An infant who was born after an unsuccessful abortion attempt and subsequently fostered.
Zimmerman,

LukeLuke Zimmerman Actor who starred in The Secret Life of the American Teenager United States

en.wikipedia.org...

Seems NOT ALL DS folks fall into your mold.

Peace

originally posted by: Tangerine
a reply to: jude11

How convenient for you to claim you would have done exactly that which he did and not that which she did when you are not in their situation. After all, it's highly likely that she, not he, would be saddled with caring for the Down Syndrome child for the rest of her (the mother's) life. Of course, the media will not follow up on this story in ten years so we won't know what the father has done.

Have you ever known anyone who has had a Down Syndrome baby? I know someone. The father of the child only stuck it out for a short time before bailing and leaving her to care for the child. She is now 80 and her child is 50. She has had to devote close to every waking moment of her life to caring for him. Of course, i haven't asked her if she regretted the decision to take him home from the hospital but I wouldn't bet that she hasn't. Don't judge others when you're not the one in their situation.

2 quick answers.

Yes, an uncle and cousin in my family. As well as a person that I help with their love of baking and.is starting their own gluten free baking line.

And yes it is nice to know myself this much, thank you.

Peace

a reply to: jude11

It sounds like the baby is being used as a pawn here, and people are being played.

Sad situation all around.

a reply to: jude11

Sorry Jude. You've jumped the gun on the righteous indignation on this one. There is more to this story. First time I've ever seen you do that but you botched this one. We'll see what you do next I guess; admit it, ignore it or double down.

a reply to: jude11

The Father made the right decision...now and in the years to come...that child will be such a wonderful blessing to him.

Also...in the years to come...the mother will suffer from horrible guilt...if she has a conscience. She seems very selfish and superficial to me.

This is why I am such a huge fan of public charity options. When presented with an opportunity out seems like the general population organizes to help independently, and speedily, where government assistance and organized charities may have less to offer and much more hoops to jump through.

I dunno if I'd judge the lady, it's a huge responsibility and I can't fathom being presented with the actual situation. I like to think I know what I'd do in somebody else's position but I'm truly limited by my own experience. The real message here is that the child will be provided for thanks to the community that donated and in part because her reaction was so polarizing that the story prompted others to act.

originally posted by: jude11
"Forrest has set up a GoFundMe page and is relying on the generosity of strangers. In nine days, 3,821 people from around the world have donated more than $117,000."

What isn't told in this story is whether his ex wife is paying child support. Sure donations help a lot, but I really hope she is forced by government agencies to also contribute to the well being of "her" baby as well.

She is a Swamp Donkey

originally posted by: Realtruth
a reply to: jude11

It sounds like the baby is being used as a pawn here, and people are being played.

Sad situation all around.

I hope not.

But, that was my first impression too.

How quickly did this father set up the "Go Fund Me"?

what a waste of money! i'd do the same thing as the mother.

originally posted by: caladonea
a reply to: jude11

The Father made the right decision...now and in the years to come...that child will be such a wonderful blessing to him.

Also...in the years to come...the mother will suffer from horrible guilt...if she has a conscience. She seems very selfish and superficial to me.

Rubbish. You're putting your beliefs on others. If you're so hot to raise a Down Syndrome child, why don't you adopt one? I'm sure they're available? Then you come come back to this site in ten years and preach about how wonderful and fulfilling it is and how you recommend it to everyone.

originally posted by: Annee

originally posted by: Realtruth
a reply to: jude11

It sounds like the baby is being used as a pawn here, and people are being played.

Sad situation all around.

I hope not.

But, that was my first impression too.

How quickly did this father set up the "Go Fund Me"?

Probably pretty quickly and he'll likely use it to hire someone to take care of the child (unlike the mother who likely would have had to do an entire lifetime of caregiving herself).

a reply to: ketsuko

Children get put up for adoption every single day. Now just because this child happens to be challenged it's a horror or a crime.
If the child was perfectly normal and the mother said she wanted to put the baby up for adoption it would have been a non story.
People can be so judgemental. She knows herself. Raising a challenged child especially one with downs syndrome will mean many physical challenges not just mental. These children often have heart defects , suffer blindness and many other problems. It will take a lot of money and dedication to raise him.
Mom was also probably blaming herself for this which is possible as this occurs with defective eggs. That is why the incidence and likelyhood of having a,downs syndrome child increase with a mother's age.
I bet she reconsiders over time. She's probably feeling distraught and guilty right now.
You men, will never understand the anxiety a woman privately suffers every time she has a child growing within her. The fear that something like this will happen or worse and she will almost always blame herself for it. That kind of guilt can lead to suicide.
Please try a little empathy.
From a woman who faced the same risk.

Not fair to call the mother a POS. That is so harsh . You have no idea what's going on in her head.

a reply to: jude11

And she may yet reconsider. Right now her hopes and dreams of a perfect child have been crushed.

reply to: ~Lucidity

originally posted by: AutumnWitch657
a reply to: ketsuko

Children get put up for adoption every single day. Now just because this child happens to be challenged it's a horror or a crime.
If the child was perfectly normal and the mother said she wanted to put the baby up for adoption it would have been a non story.
People can be so judgemental. She knows herself. Raising a challenged child especially one with downs syndrome will mean many physical challenges not just mental. These children often have heart defects , suffer blindness and many other problems. It will take a lot of money and dedication to raise him.
Mom was also probably blaming herself for this which is possible as this occurs with defective eggs. That is why the incidence and likelyhood of having a,downs syndrome child increase with a mother's age.
I bet she reconsiders over time. She's probably feeling distraught and guilty right now.
You men, will never understand the anxiety a woman privately suffers every time she has a child growing within her. The fear that something like this will happen or worse and she will almost always blame herself for it. That kind of guilt can lead to suicide.
Please try a little empathy.
From a woman who faced the same risk.

Why would she reconsider over time?

originally posted by: ~Lucidity

originally posted by: jude11

originally posted by: ~Lucidity
No one really knows what they would do in a situation until they're in it.

Maybe for some but not me.

I absolutely know what I would do.

Peace

I'd like to think I know what I would do but just can't be that sure.

Think there's an woff chance that she may even change her mind? It sounds like this was a shock to the couple, and people in shock...well they do some crazy things.

a reply to: On the level

Hence my "seems" like a good guy. There are always a lot of ways to spin a story, aren't there? The proof will be when time goes by...for both parents. We never really know anything about people but what they want us to know.

When I was expecting my third child I was 38 years old. My youngest was 14 and my oldest was already 21.
We were in a hard place financially and I did not want another child. Before having the pregnancy confirmed I prayed please God don't let me be pregnant. I cried and cried.
After confirming the pregnancy I was fine. I'd had my first before I turned 18 and though I am pro-choice even as a teenager I couldn't make that choice for myself so now at 38 I still couldn't make that choice for myself.
At the first sonogram the nurse saw some anomalies that were a possible indicator for downs syndrome. I had to have amniocentesis to check the babies chromosomes. It took 10 days for the results to come in. That was the longest 10 days of my life and my husband and I had some very hard choices to make in light of the possible outcome.
My prayers changed from please God don't let me be pregnant to please God let my baby be ok. I cried every day.
When the results came back my prayers had been answered and our little boy was perfect.
I will say this. We had decided that if the child had downs syndrome we would abort. We simply didn't have the means to care for a sick child for a lifetime and both of us were already considered older parents meaning that there was a chance that we would die before the child reached adulthood and he could have wound up in an institution because there was nowhere for him to go. It wasn't our most shining moment obviously but it was an honest decision. I'm forever grateful that things turned out differently because I would still be grieving that lost child should that have been the outcome. I am crying at this moment just remembering the horrible heartache I and my husband suffered during those ten days of waiting. Please don't judge this woman. You just don't know what's in her heart or mind.

a reply to: Tangerine

A few reasons. 1) she's in shock right now.
2) her hormones are totally out of wack right now.
3) she will realize she wants and loves her child.
4) she's a human and humans change their minds all the time.

originally posted by: MiddleClassWhiteBoy
Do any of you people even read???
The mother wanted to move to New Zealand and the father didn't want to. She said disabled babies have no chance in her own country. A special needs child requires ALOT of finances and resources to take care of. I'm not saying the mother doesn't deserve her criticism but it's not like she told the husband to dump the baby in the street or she's divorcing him. Maybe they have very little money and she's scared and really does want a better life for the kid. Women give up their kids in the US all the time under much less challenging circumstances and everyone admires them for it because they can be adopted into good homes. Don't rush to judge based on stupid media propaganda!

I'm so glad I'm not the only one saying this. Thank you.
People just don't realize how hard this can be and its so easy to judge from a high horse.

From the comments, People Magazine.

I am not stating this is accurate. But, it could be.

GUEST: If you people would get real...and If you google Samuel Forrest, he has a website and is a highly paid Business consultant who would like become a NonProfit Board member and of course he would be willing to do this probono. He and his wife have already made up and are discussing their options, now that people have made them wealthy!

www.people.com...-1841215022