My Great Sorrow on this Earth.

a reply to: vethumanbeing

Interesting, something caught my attention about the ladder rung's but I shall get onto that in a moment.
You are correct about Pandora's boxy but like Schrodinger would have pointed out it was always there open or not and the real opening was not the lifting of the lid but the looking at what as inside.

The metaphor about the ladder is interesting if that is what it is, you know though metaphor aside that there may be a real ladder.

Way back in 1994 I was under what I can only describe as attack, I felt as though someone who I cared or should have cared about but had never met and I knew it was a woman was also under attack or had been somewhere as experienced through a series of vivid images both waking and in a semi delirious state (I never took drugs and am not a drinker).
I had vision's of someone being hurt, kidnapped or abducted and worse that literally I could not cope with and drove me over the edge, it was as if I was exploding inside or buring up as I did not know here to go, who to tell or what I could do so I searched and searched for a house from one of the visions that I never found, I now wonder if they were my own past life experienes but if that is so then a young woman is now a fat 6 foot plus man with a bad back but let's not get into that.
One semi consiouse state I found myself outside my body but not here ***, somewhere else, it was semi dark but not black a grey place with dark grey mist near the floor, almost impenetrably dark but you could see a few yard's, I was in a replica or another version of my body, it felt distant and a little detatched but otherwise it was as My physical body was then and at 23/24 I was athletic and strong like most young men, it was also a physical body just not on this plane or in this place.
There was a ladder, it was made of grey silvery wood and not cut or carved, it was like a tree with two trunk's that were perfectly straight reaching up as far as the eye could see into a feint distant lighting in some cloud's far, far overhead were it seemed to reach beyond them, I walked over to it and started to climb, the rung's were like branches that were grown out of the two side's and yet were one not joined making the lader a single grown piece of wood or an organism, it was very hard like iron and there was no back with thin crack's along the grain, there were knots all over the ladder that were perfectly smooth to the wood like branches had simply dropped off.
Each rung was about as thick that a little over twice my grasp would have been needed to go around it, the two sides about two or thee time's thicker, it did not get thinner as it rose but stayed the same size.
Each rung was about foot to knee distance apart.

As I reached the ladder I was willing and commited to climbing it forever if necessary though it seemed an impossible task but I started anyway.

As I reached the third rung with my foot I suddenly felt myself move very fast and staggered forward which made me look down, I was somewhere brighter, not blazing bright but a kind of pastal warm white light, I felt a sudden burden of absolute shame as if I should not be there, I had no right as a human and it felt like the shame and sin of the world as on me, I could not bear it but asked "Please Lord Look After Her" then I stepped backward and down one rung though the ladder I could feel I could no longer see, as I stepped back I saw a single upright object, rounded as if by age and hand's it was a stub of wood that rose alone, then I saw a being I could not say male or female as it was kneeling but it had short black hair and was in a posture of prayer.

I literally felt myself zip back into my body and woke, for a few second's I felt it as going to be OK then it was as if all that I had just been granted was suddenly taken away and I felt the despair fall on me again.

SO are you being Metaphorical or are you one of us, and a question you can not answer am I still one of us.


*** (I have had very different experience's of fighting to get back into my body when my soul had left it and something was trying to take or swallow me, I could see the real world and my body lying there on the bed, it looked dark and vacant and yet I was also under water like at the bottom of an ocean, I could feel a current like a wirlpool or a great throat trying to drag me backwards/swallow me down into darkness, into somewhere I had climbed back out of, three time's in one night I had to fight to get back into my body, it was like walking through treacal that was pulling me backward walking back to my body and three times I woke up physically gasping for air as if I had stopped breathing so as you can see this was a very different kind of OOBE)

originally posted by: LABTECH767
a reply to: veteranhumanbeing

Interesting, something caught my attention about the ladder rung's but I shall get onto that in a moment.
You are correct about Pandora's boxy but like Schrodinger would have pointed out it was always there open or not and the real opening was not the lifting of the lid but the looking at what as inside.

For me its being okay with what I just encountered. YIKES and now having to deal with the aftermath (another form of to the X factor: Enlightenment). NOT AGAIN?

LABTECH767: The metaphor about the ladder is interesting if that is what it is, you know though metaphor aside that there may be a real ladder.
Way back in 1994 I was under what I can only describe as attack, I felt as though someone who I cared or should have cared about but had never met and I knew it was a woman was also under attack or had been somewhere as experienced through a series of vivid images both waking and in a semi delirious state (I never took drugs and am not a drinker).

Well; I will take it on the chin. I have had those negative attacks as well and guess what I am still here as are those attacked. I would explain these as psychic attacks, purpose to unnerve/destroy or warp that humans INTENT PURE.

LABTECH767: I had vision's of someone being hurt, kidnapped or abducted and worse that literally I could not cope with and drove me over the edge, it was as if I was exploding inside or buring up as I did not know here to go, who to tell or what I could do so I searched and searched for a house from one of the visions that I never found, I now wonder if they were my own past life experienes but if that is so then a young woman is now a fat 6 foot plus man with a bad back but let's not get into that.
One semi consiouse state I found myself outside my body but not here ***, somewhere else, it was semi dark but not black a grey place with dark grey mist near the floor, almost impenetrably dark but you could see a few yard's, I was in a replica or another version of my body, it felt distant and a little detatched but otherwise it was as My physical body was then and at 23/24 I was athletic and strong like most young men, it was also a physical body just not on this plane or in this place.

This or these are clearly OOBE's; what lesson taught? You are a traveler (brave heart). You will appear as the best of yourself when surfing. I get this "Oh here is one appeared NEW is alive on earth as physical being AND HERE NOW" come and meet my friends (I am an anomaly). I am more a curiosity than anything else.

LABTECH767: There was a ladr, it was made of grey silvery wood and not cut or carved, it was like a tree with two trunk's that were perfectly straight reach: thing up as far as the eye could see into a fein[t distant lighting in some cloud's far, far overhead were it seemed to reach beyond them, I walked over to it and started to climb, the rung's were like branches that were grown out of the two side's and yet were one not joined making the lader a single grown piece of wood or an organism, it was very hard like iron and there was no back with thin crack's along the grain, there were knots all over the ladder that were perfectly smooth to the wood like branches had simply dropped off.
Each rung was about as thick that a little over twice my grasp would have been needed to go around it, the two sides about two or thee time's thicker, it did not get thinner as it rose but stayed the same size. Each rung was about foot to knee distance apart.

You are speaking about the ladder of/to enlightenment. Jobs ladder; this this Freemasonry in its symbols as you are telling. 17 inches between each rung.

LABTECH767:As I reached the ladder I was willing and commited to climbing it forever if necessary though it seemed an impossible task SO are you being Metaphorical or are you one of us, and a question you can not answer am I still one of us.

I am metaphorical and so being in statement of IAM of the 100 existing; in admitting to this does not cause trade mark problems. Of course you are one of us. I can answer in TRUTH; because I am in recognition of: THAT WILLED TO BE IN LOVE WITH THE LAW.

a reply to: vethumanbeing

I am actually not a Mason myself so know nothing of that, I did have some interest in the old Rosicrucian order who's symbolism was actually gnostic Christian but that interest passed away from me some time back, it is a different path to the Mason's though with Father Rosencrantz tomb, it's seven wall's and seven eternal lamp's etc harkening more to Christian mysticism and the search for the philosophers stone being more of a mental tool to search for enlightenment and self mastery, as you know they were at time's at odd's with the philosophy of the mason's having a different agenda and perhaps allegiance.
That aside I am not one of them either though I did swear an oath that was supposedly adopted from an old crusader oath they used about the time of the pamphlets that were circulated when they for some reason had a member or member's in several country's break there total occlusion by placing these pamphlets out that there ideology might influence the society of the day.
Any interest I had in these society's though was lost on me when I saw how it was a distraction from the truth, hidden truth is often no better than lie's and keepers of secrets are the same as liar's in that they use the truth and occlude the truth to there own end's.

But no I did encounter that, it was as real as this keyboard I am typing on, there was no illuminate or masonic or any other symbolism with the Small object I saw more like a lingam type object or a rounded worn down stub of a staff or pillar.

One thing I notice is I look up and it is 1.44 or 11.44 etc which for me seem's to be recurring number, it may simply be because I am a believer if a rather lapsed Christian these day's and it has symbolic meaning to me as does 42 and 20 though those two numbers do not recur for me.

I have witnessed objects seemingly teleporting or appearing from nowhere and I have had my share of other strangeness, I actually feel as if the world entered a very dark chapter about the late 1980's to the early 1990's and is still in that darkness, I have clear memory's of reading passages in the bible for instance which are no longer there so have assumed since I can't be right and the whole world wrong then perhaps I am somehow not from this version of the earth or even this reality, not the body of course but the consciousness and I came up with all kind's of crack pot theory's to try to explain how reality's could merge or change including a theory about the formation of black holes zipping parallel reality's together at the event horizon when they first form and this emanating from them across the universe'(s) at an unknown speed as the two universes that began as one before diverging into parallels merge, of course it is hoo ha but I had to try to rationalize the un-rational.

I did not manage to let it wash over me as it sometimes felt like it was destroying me but I decided that since I seemed to be aware of reality somehow shifting to the negative that perhaps I could somehow form a conscious quantum anchor and try to halt the destruction, I like many for instance remember the sky being luminous blue, maybe it never was in this reality but then again maybe it was.

A lot of other people have tried in there own way to rationalize it by taking the idea's from the matrix movies and trying to construct there own theory's based on the idea that reality is actually a generated illusion, maybe they are right and maybe not.

But whatever the case is we are in this boat together and that remains so weather we are sane or crazy.

Thank you for what you said, that was nice.

Oh I even got down to my own idea about a form of mental philosophers stone but it was such that to use this tiny mental lever to manipulate the universe you would have to be outside the universe and able to still apply that lever to the fundamental underpinning structure.

I modelled it in a way that you have to see from a higher dimension but to express in in three dimensional terms', imaging two spheres one positive and one negative each a copy but of opposite polarity of the other and at the point they touch a ring that prevents them collapsing and keep's that point infinitely small though they do almost kiss at that point as it is only an infinitely small but all important gap that separate's them, now here is the mind warping part, the ring is actually two other opposite polarity but not attracted to the first two, they are trying to collapse at the same point but the first two modelled from this perspective appear as a ring that prevents that, they are identical to the first two with only an infinitely small gap separating them.

In a more crude explanation in my mind during my search for an answer I saw four point's joined at an infinitely small point, a slight destabilization at that point could actually destroy or annihilate the universe as it is something that is functional below the smallest sub special form to the highest entire universal form so if I was/am right it is not to be played with, two point's form a torsion field that prevents the other two negative and positive states from collapsing thought they still touch but can not collapse into one another, these other two points conversely form there own torsion that prevents the first two point's from collapsing but once again they all almost touch at that infinite small point held apart by equal attraction at the same point that means that one pair collapsing into one another prevents the other pair from doing so and vice versa, essentially the universe is made of an almost nothing divided and polarized against itself and then using it's own attraction to prevent it from collapsing at impossibly perfectly balanced point of shared attraction.

The mind is the lever but like I say it would have to be outside as each of the four points to destabilize or manipulate them, any one of the four independent of the other three having a change of state however small would collapse the universe and it would then simply not exist but if a small enough thought construct were used it could instead make the mind able to manipulate universal reality by adjusting the overarching state's of it's balance and existence.

So searching for the philosophers stone which itself is a metaphor is actually dangerous and in the wrong mind if it answered the last part of the problem would be catastrophic for all other's.

originally posted by: LABTECH767
a reply to: vethumanbeing

EDIT here: (regarding ancient Egyptian mysteries) "Any interest I had in these society's though was lost on me when I saw how it was a distraction from the truth, hidden truth is often no better than lie's and keepers of secrets are the same as liar's in that they use the truth and occlude the truth to there own end's.
But no I did encounter that, it was as real as this keyboard I am typing on, there was no illuminate or masonic or any other symbolism with the Small object I saw more like a lingam type object or a rounded worn down stub of a staff or pillar.".

I do not understand why the mysteries are hidden and still remain so; to avoid persecution? I know what is being hidden and no one would believe the truth (my truth as well).

LABTECH767: One thing I notice is I look up and it is 1.44 or 11.44 etc which for me seem's to be recurring number, it may simply be because I am a believer if a rather lapsed Christian these day's and it has symbolic meaning to me as does 42 and 20 though those two numbers do not recur for me.

There are another set of angelic numbers as well; 11:11, 1:11 and 12:34 that have entered the material consciousness. What do they mean? Because they are time related are a restart; a reminder something greater than you exists and will do its best to communicate to you its existence (I know so tiresome just appear in the flesh and bone).

LABTECH767: I have witnessed objects seemingly teleporting or appearing from nowhere and I have had my share of other strangeness, I actually feel as if the world entered a very dark chapter about the late 1980's to the early 1990's and is still in that darkness, I have clear memory's of reading passages in the bible for instance which are no longer there so have assumed since I can't be right and the whole world wrong then perhaps I am somehow not from this version of the earth or even this reality, not the body of course but the consciousness and I came up with all kind's of crack pot theory's to try to explain how reality's could merge or change including a theory about the formation of black holes zipping parallel reality's together at the event horizon when they first form and this emanating from them across the universe'(s) at an unknown speed as the two universes that began as one before diverging into parallels merge, of course it is hoo ha but I had to try to rationalize the un-rational.

You are experiencing past lives memory (not of this reality) inserts intruding upon your present physical one (that is outstanding). Past reality can intrude upon the present one; as there are leeks, or holes in the system (everyone laugh now; this is why people at times glimpse the prehistoric human "bigfoot"). It was explained to me that the heavens immaterial met earth (material) in a canoe on a river and created its children called the human being.

LABTECH767: I did not manage to let it wash over me as it sometimes felt like it was destroying me but I decided that since I seemed to be aware of reality somehow shifting to the negative that perhaps I could somehow form a conscious quantum anchor and try to halt the destruction, I like many for instance remember the sky being luminous blue, maybe it never was in this reality but then again maybe it was.
A lot of other people have tried in there own way to rationalize it by taking the idea's from the matrix movies and trying to construct there own theory's based on the idea that reality is actually a generated illusion, maybe they are right and maybe not.

You were shown something is all; that NO others have privilege to (that specific knowledge unique to yourself). There are many truths being revealed now (cinematic). This world is not real; it is a structured experiment you volunteered to be a part of. Everyone is sane within the context of this insanity (who would do this--only the brave).