Dumb Christmas Jokes

Christmas is like a day at the office. You do all the work, and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.


What do you call a disobedient kid who doesn't believe in Santa?
Rebel without a Claus.

Why are Santa's helpers depressed?
They have low elf-esteem.

What famous playwright is terrified of Christmas?
Noël Coward

How did the detective find Kris Kringle?
He followed the Santa Clues.

I saw on the news recently that a British card company got into trouble for advertising a card offering "ten reasons why Santa Claus lives on a council housing estate". (For American members, that's an area where housing is built, maintained and rented out by the local council).

His record of "breaking and entering".
Only works once a year.
He's never actually been seen doing any work.
Drinks alcohol during working hours.
Rarely leaves his home for fear of being recognised.
Usus loads of different names and aliases.
He gets letters from lots of people all demanding that he owes them money [sic- it should be either "demanding money" or "claiming that he owes them"]
And a couple of others where I can't read my writing.

Of course they were forced to apologise and withdraw the card. It had "slipped through their quality procedures".

Why has he never been to hospital ?
Because he spends a lot on elf and safety !
Sorry just made it up .

I wasn't going to click on this at first. A little voice in my head said, "Yule regret it." Okie dokie. Got that out of my system. Carry on.