how many NOT looking forward to thanksgiving tomorrow.....im not im not

uugggh.
its finally set in....i am not looking forward to this at all.
we are hosting this year....im making the bird...no big deal on that...i make a mean turkey lurkey.

its the guests...
my father in law, brother in law, and my wifes step mother are coming and i am dreading it.

first of all they invited themselves and my wife does not seem to be able to say no so i get told after it has been decided that tey are coming.
now it may not seem like a big deal but it is because i never know what kind of a mood they will be in.

the father in law and his wife argue and fight like no couple i have ever seen. they have only been married 2 years and it is a disaster.
theyre relationship changes day to day.
on monday they are lovey dovey sweet hearts and on tuesday, its like a nuclear bomb went off.
they hate each other and they are getting divorced and they call the cops and they physically hit each other.

about 6 months ago she hit him in the face with depression glass and threw hot olive oil on him....

she is insane, for real.

of course she was in jail and getting divorced.....nope.....

so i never know how they are going to be acting.

then we have my bro in law.....the poster child for manic depression...
not kidding. he has it...he just got approved for his disability check.

i hate dealing with it...he's #in weird.

he comes over and 1 minute he is happy and in a good moo and then all of a sudden like a switch is flipped he is morose and crying. then he starts bitching about taxes(even though he has no job) and the system and then man.

then he is back in a good mood and starts talking about witch craft and black magic and alesteir crowley....

then its back to how much he hates himself and how nobody cares about him and he wants to die....

he will drink a whole 12 pack of soda and an entire pot of coffee while he is here.

no manners at all.

he hacks and coughs like he has tb or lung cancer...its disgusting.

he is one of those guys that belches like an avalanche every 3 minutes...you know, they try to push it out and make it loud.
its disgusting.

he and the father in law are almost certainly going to argue.

im going to get to sit and listen about how much he hates life and hates the world and how everyone would be so much better if he just kills himself....

i am not stretching the truth on this at all....

tomorrow is going to suck and i hate it.

this is MY house. i pay the bills here..ME
yet i get to be uncomfortable and sit here and listen to this # all day......

this is the one thing my wife and i argue about.

i dont think it is unreasonable to not want to deal with this in my own house. but, the wife cant or wont say no.

it causes a ripple.

so while everyone i sleeping in i will be up early prepping the bird for all the people who i dont even want here to eat.
yaaaaay!!!!!!!!


who else is not looking forward to this?

originally posted by: Grovit
this is MY house. i pay the bills here..ME
yet i get to be uncomfortable and sit here and listen to this # all day......

...man up next year then and say no instead of whining about it on the interwebs.
Sorry, no sympathy, I've got a similar disfunctional family and I avoid the 'big days' and visit them individually, no one can force me to let them take over my home, and it seems you were not forced, just to scared to say no...you made a choice if you like it or not, nobody forced you to accept this first world problem.

Hate to say it, but you love your wife. Deal with it. Imagine how she feels knowing these miscreants are her family... My advice is to start drinking early. If you are a drinker, of course.

Yeah, sorry - no sympathy here either. If it were me, I would call them up myself and tell them that we aren't having Thanksgiving this year, and we just want to be alone. Done.

originally posted by: grainofsand

...man up next year then and say no instead of whining about it on the interwebs.
Sorry, no sympathy, I've got a similar disfunctional family and I avoid the 'big days' and visit them individually, no one can force me to let them take over my home, and it seems you were not forced, just to scared to say no...you made a choice if you like it or not, nobody forced you to accept this first world problem.

didnt ask for sympathy. just wanted to know if anyone else was not looking forward to it and gave my story as to why i am not.

youre right, i was not forced....i guess i could 'man up' and tell my wife to call them and tell them they cant come...thats not cool either though. this is her house as well as mine.
i didnt accept it either. i am dealing with it.

its also not about me being scared to say no.
i was never asked. had they asked me i would have said absolutely not.

this self invitation happened when my wife was visiting without me...she said yes

anyway, not trying to debate or get sympathy.
just want to know if other ats'ers are in similar situations

originally posted by: darkwingduck
Hate to say it, but you love your wife. Deal with it. Imagine how she feels knowing these miscreants are her family... My advice is to start drinking early. If you are a drinker, of course.

yeah, thats where i am...im dealing with it.

she has strong feelings too but not like me. i guess cause its her family.
it is just mentally taxing dealing with it..
it makes me uncomfortable too because the father in law and his wife start to argue...it makes me very uneasy....

but yeah, im dealing

kayla, again, i didnt ask for sympathy...just want to know if others are not looking forward to it and gave my reasons why i am not.
im not gonna make that call.
my wife told them yes and they are planning on coming. she apparently wants them here so thats it.

a reply to: Grovit

The holidays are always the best time to remind us of how much we need to cherish those wonderful 364 other days when the in-laws are NOT around. And besides, it also a great excuse to stuff your gullet with turkey lurkey and all the fixins !

Make lemonade, my man... make lemonade.

originally posted by: Grovit
anyway, not trying to debate or get sympathy.
just want to know if other ats'ers are in similar situations

Fair enough, and I apologise if I come across as blunt...I wish you well, nobody enjoys family BS, especially inlaws [/shudder]

a reply to: grainofsand

no worries.
sorry if i came off as trying to get sympathy.

Glad I don't have to deal with personal in-laws. I do deal with my brothers in-laws and they're all pretty chill actually, more so than my family. Ahhh, it's good to be single.

a reply to: Grovit
If I was you, and they started that sh**, I would blow up on them. Just freak out and yell STFU!!! And let them know that they are ruining your holiday. I bet in the long run you would feel better. Or you could be like my uncle, and just ignore everyone and hide out in the basement, and come out only to get a plate of food, and promptly go back into hiding.

I have a rule in my house that there are no arguments regardless of who you are.

If 2 people wish to argue then are told they have to do it in the garden so as not to disrupt other guests.

You would be suprised as to how well people regulate themselves when they realise I am not joking.

When your "weird" brother in-law starts to hamper your fun, remind yourself to be THANKFUL that you do not share his debilitating disability. I find your lack of empathy for someone who has a problem that they can not control to be disturbing, but I did not come here to flame you... because, I too, am not looking forward to Thanksgiving. Just not for the same reasons as you.

I would trade places with you in a heart-beat. A messed-up, fighting, weird, disabled, dysfunctional family to spend the holiday with would be so much better than having no family at all. I do have distant relatives, but they are far away and I only speak to one close member of my remaining family a couple times a year. So, I spend the holidays alone, and use the time to catch up on my chores and house cleaning. But I also use the time to remember the family I had that is no longer here, gosh, I miss them. Remember, friend, our time here on Earth is limited, and we may depart from it at any moment.

This Thanksgiving, why not put things into perspective and think about what you DO have to be thankful for.

originally posted by: darkwingduck
a reply to: Grovit
If I was you, and they started that sh**, I would blow up on them. Just freak out and yell STFU!!! .

its very hard for me to stay calm and bite my tongue.
if it were my family it would be different.

i deal with it for her.....she wants to see her dad and brother. she wants our daughter to see them.
she seems to be able to deal with it while i start to boil on the inside.

i bite my tongue...i hate doing it but i do.

i dont want my wife to look at me like i am the one who ruined it...if i just took off or hid out in the back, theyre gonns be pressing her as to why and then she will get uncomfortable...

its just a crappy situation.

i would be thrilled if it were just myself, my daughter, and my wife.

im not big on family get togethers to begin with...its just that her family gives me the brain drain.

especially her brother....he is a nice guy and all but dman man...he has serious issues. i know its not his fault but it sure as hell is not my fault either...i dont want to deal with it...

he just moans and groans and talks about how everything sucks and how he wants to die...just on and on about # like that.

i used to feel bad for him and want to help but years have gone by and things have happened....now im to the point where in my head im thinking "then quit talking about it and do it"


it gets old

a reply to: Grovit

If this is the worst you must endure in life, you'll be a very lucky man. There is an exercise you can do where you can will yourself to love anything, even undesirable things, but it is probably too late to begin practicing for that. Just focus on your wife and consider this sacrifice a gift for her. If you can't offer that to her gladly, maybe it is time to look for another wife. ;p

Good luck! If nothing else, try to enjoy the turkey and pie. Ignore the chattering heads. They're only temporary anyway.

originally posted by: seattlerat
When your "weird" brother in-law starts to hamper your fun, remind yourself to be THANKFUL that you do not share his debilitating disability. I find your lack of empathy for someone who has a problem that they can not control to be disturbing, but I did not come here to flame you... because, I too, am not looking forward to Thanksgiving. Just not for the same reasons as you.

So, I spend the holidays alone,

i spent years alone....best holidays i ever had.
i would like to spend it with my wife and daughter but not with anyone else.
take my marriage out of the equation and i would trade with you in an instant.

im not thankful i dont have his condition...i have my own conditions...i am not sympathetic or empathetic to his situation at all.
he did recently get diagnosed and he did recently get approved for a check but he does nothing to help himelf.

he is so disabled when it comes to having a job. or being responsible...
he is totally fine when it comes to scamming people, or hanging out with his # head friends smoking weed all day.
thats another issue...i know the dude has problems but its not my problem.
im over it.

a few years ago i was much more open to his problems...as the years have passed and ive seen him act and do certain things, my level of caring is at exactly zero.

thats just the way it is

originally posted by: Nechash

If this is the worst you must endure in life, you'll be a very lucky man.

no. not the worst. not by a long shot.

just not looking forward to it.
was curious to see if any of you had similar issues with turkey day.
thats it

Sounds like every family I know.

I medicate...

originally posted by: whyamIhere

I medicate...

you and me both

im ready