I agree it truly sux

Hello everyone.

First of all I'm sorry for this post. I know many of you probably have problems of your own and truly don't care to hear anyone else's.

I am 38. I'm going through school to be an aircraft A&P and Avionics tech. My grades are outstanding I
Suppose. My GPA is a 97. But going to school has done nothing but cause me to be a problem as i am being told by my wife. Unfortunately when I signed up for school my boss fired me from my job in retail after telling me for weeks he would work with my schedule, and told the company I quit screwing me out of unemployment. I have put in applications all over but unfortunately no one wants to hire me because I go to school 7 hours a day Monday through Friday.

The last few weekends I've been helping an elderly couple around the yard to make a few bucks to help us out but in doing so all I have done is get my wife mad at me. Even though I spend every min I can with her between my school her work and trying to find a job she keeps getting pissed saying im ignoring her. I am so stressed out I don't know what to do.

Our power has been off for about 2 months and the elderly couple has been helping us by keeping my tablet for school charged along with our cell phones on the weekends so we will at least have them running so I've been working on his truck his Harley Davidson and his yard to make up for it on Saturday and Sunday and then going home and curling up with my wife in the evenings trying to balance.

I feel as if she is punishing me for helping people and now I'm torn. She used to do the same when I would go help my mom and dad and told me if we didn't get away from my mom we would end up devorced. So I moved us two states away to Florida. I have no friends other than my class mates at school and the only time I see them is at school. They have asked us to hang but I know I would end up in trouble for it if I even suggested it.

I know my wife is bipolar and she has issues with depression. Our 18 year old son also has issues with the way she does us. She thinks she has to keep us locked up behind closed doors when we are home. He only has friends that he can text or talk to on the internet. No one ever comes to our house becauseof the way she is. But she refuses to believe she mite be wrong and blames all our problems on me.

We just had another fight tonight because, even though i have been with her all weekend working on her scooter and watching TV and curling up together with me holding her in my arms at night, that I'm not spending time with her. I truly don't understand. I am doing all I can do with what we have but it never seems to be good enough.

I am trying to better my education so we will have a brighter future but the harder I try the darker it seems to get. I'm one that likes helping others especially if they're helping us and I feel like if I do that I'm an a¿¿ h0¡3 now.

Tonight she accused me of not wanting to spend time with her, and I'm sitting there calmly trying to explain to her I was with her all weekend holding her talking to her and trying to be nothing but good to her, and she pitched a fit and threw her wedding ring at me and it hit me in the head. I don't know what to do anymore.

Again I'm sorry but I had to let this out. If no one reads it or answers I understand.

a reply to: CaptNemo2012

Im gonna jump in...I can relate. Ive been there in a lot of ways the same as you at least a couple times in my life. This is a signal to you: from you. Youre are doing something good for the benefit of all...so you have to remember that. With all the distraction and craziness, its not easy.

Im not saying to forget her and all her concerns, but in some ways you just have to: you have to keep on your path. With her? Thats a separate battle. But if you give in and give up...then what? It all falls apart. Of course its not easy...in fact with all the stress its damn hard. I know.

Nothing in life is really easy. You have to keep on pleasing her as best as you can with what you have....You have to just keep on trying to maintain a sense of balance. Not for her...but for you. You have GOT to finish school. In the end its for all....but mostly, for you to make things change for all of you.... Because with that...all the rest will fall together. It will.

Youve heard of turning the other cheek, or looking the other way? It s really hard to do when youre wearing roller-skates like you are! (get what I mean?). Ya just keep spinnin' !!!

Good luck to you...and when all is said and school is done...things will change. But take this last bit of advice from a long married man. You cant please 'em all the time. But you cant stop tryin either. You go guy...dont stop...time will tell....good luck and congrats on your efforts....

Best MS

a reply to: CaptNemo2012
keep pushing ahead. we all have our trials and tribulations. I commend you on your drive and how you have faced challenges so far.

**you can love the people in your life but not allow them to hold you back!

a reply to: CaptNemo2012

As a fellow 38 yr old that has had his share of relationship problems-I take 50% of all blame,btw.-my advice would be to get out of the relationship.

Since your son is 18 you wouldn't have to deal with child support.

Plus-he is old enough to get a job to help you out.

Mental issues rarely improve especially while involved in a relationship-the relationship just becomes extra ammo for the person with the mental issues to think of things to argue about.

If I were in your shoes,I would ask around your classmates and see if any of them had a room to rent-or knew someone with a pretty cheap place to stay.

You and your son can work together to get a place-and get away from the problems.You will both gain emotionally by working together.

Marriages come and go-but the relationship between a level headed parent and his son are unique.

Just my 13 cents,and I hope things start looking up for you.

You are trying your best and apparently, it isn't good enough for her. She has bi-polar and depression and should be on meds to help that. My nephew is married to the most amazing woman who is bi-polar, but once in a while things happen and they have to try new meds or a different dosage for her. Do not lose yourself because of her issues. You are only one person and can only do so much. Your thoughts and feelings matter too, not just hers.

Oh and remember...your friends here will be here for you no matter what happens.

Thank you all. I am trying to keep on moving forward. Just stress is really high right now. Have final exams for faa forms and regulations on tuesday and powerplant final on thursday and then the faa powerplant writen test and oral and practical test next week.
With all that plus a job interview for home depo monday afternoon plus now her freaking out. Wow im pulling my hair out proverbialy.

I truly appreciate the advice.

a reply to: CaptNemo2012

Take one day at a time, or one hour at a time...whatever it takes to get you through this.

a reply to: CaptNemo2012

Hey CaptNemo2012 - ah my heart breaks for you. You are so full of love and effort towards your wife and still able to give of yourself to your neighbours.

You are amazing in all that you are holding everything together and for doing so awesome at school. You sound very motivated, responsible and quite brilliant actually. I just want you to know that you are worth love and respect and positive feedback.

With your wife's issues I feel I have to say that even though she has these issues she is an adult and she is responsible for her own happiness and health. Do not, do NOT give up your dreams or goals for anyone. Unfortunately sometimes there is just no reasoning with mental illness and I think if you have to sacrifice something in order to make your dreams come true then it's simply that cut and dried - as much as it may feel wrong or unloving.

And remember you are allowed to love yourself and you should. I mean no disrespect or ill well to your wife but you must do what you need to in order to keep yourself healthy and to fulfill your life. You married your wife to share your life with her. You did not marry her to babysit her or watch all loved ones and friends disappear by the wayside as she isolates herself and then her immediate family circle.

Keep up the good work and yes you do have friends. Right here. Like Night Star said you are NEVER alone. We really need a hug emoticon.

a reply to: CaptNemo2012

If you want to try to keep the relationship going, then you may want to look into some kind of counseling; I honestly believe it would have saved my parents from divorce had they both attempted to try it earlier in the game.

At the same time though, at some point in the game you need to do something for, well, you. Be there for your wife and son, but regardless of what you are told, finish the degree for yourself. It's not a waste if it helps you in the long run.

-fossilera