[SEC2014]Underground

The Autumn wind scattered leaves across their path as they walked. "You're pretty quiet tonight. You ok? he asked his closest friend. Taylor shook his head. "No, Jeff, there's something I've needed to tell you for a very long time."
"And what might that be?" asked Jeff with hesitation. They had been close friends for years and Jeff couldn't imagine Tyler holding anything back from him. They entered a clearing in the woods and sat on the grass facing each other.

Tyler began to stutter, something he had never done before. "When my Fa, Fa, Father died, he confessed the secrets he had held for all those years working at the underground facility. You know he was sworn to secrecy, but he had nothing to lose and...he told me things." Jeff pulled his hood over his head to keep the chill out. "What things?" Tyler stood up and began to pace. "THINGS! Horrific things! Things you couldn't imagine could actually be real!" Jeff knew Tyler and he knew his Father and neither would lie and make things up. Seeing how agitated his friend was, he became concerned. "Ok man, take a deep breath and sit down, you're making me nervous. Now tell me what the hell you're talking about." Taylor ran his fingers through his thick dark hair. "Do you remember all the weird stuff we used to hear about online about places deep underground and vats with bodies in them and hybrids and genetic experiments and all that?" Jeff snorted than burst into laughter. "You're not gonna tell me that's what your Father discussed with you are you?" He thought Tyler was pulling his leg, but he could see in his friends eyes that he was dead serious. Now Jeff was the one pacing.

A cold wind blew and Tyler shuddered. "They kidnapped people Jeff! They took them away from their normal little lives and put them into a living nightmare that never ended, genetically altering them into part animal and part human or part alien and part human. They were hideous and suffered deeply physically and emotionally." Jeff didn't want to believe that such things could be true. "Are you telling me they pickled people in vats and turned them into... things?" he asked. A squirrel scurried through the branches overhead as Tyler took a deep breath trying to compose himself. "They're still there hundreds of them deep down underground. They're still alive and my brother... he was one of them! He found a way out Jeff. He found a way out and killed himself. He found a way out of the dark dank halls that held him like a tomb. He was never missing! My Father had to lie all those years and say his son was missing. There was nothing my Father could have done to save him or they would have killed us all." Tyler broke down sobbing uncontrollably. Suddenly they heard the crunching of leaves and snapping of twigs. Someone was there. Someone had been there all along watching and waiting. Behind them were men, men in white jackets like the men that worked in labs and deep underground.

you are a gifted writer night star

Sorry its not bad, but nothing new.

shoud have endid with,

snap of a twig, then some kind of human things!
jumpt out and grabed them.
a man in a lab coat walls up and says.
"I think its about time you visited your brother.
I think he would like you to stay too.
I know I would..."

if you like it you can use it.

originally posted by: glend
you are a gifted writer night star

Thanks so much!!

originally posted by: buddha
Sorry its not bad, but nothing new.

shoud have endid with,

snap of a twig, then some kind of human things!
jumpt out and grabed them.
a man in a lab coat walls up and says.
"I think its about time you visited your brother.
I think he would like you to stay too.
I know I would..."

if you like it you can use it.

Thanks for the critique. I didn't know what the heck to write. That's what pooped into my head. LOL

a reply to: Night Star


Very Cool Story Night!! I Really liked it!!! Syx

a reply to: SyxPak

Thank you Syx! Much appreciated!!

Gave me chills Night. The characters were rendered very real in just a short space, their actions and the brief physical descriptions, were enough I could see these two friends. Schweet!

a reply to: Iamschist

Thank you!!



Nice avatar!!

a reply to: Night Star

Nice one Night

Took me back to a childhood memory of best friends sharing secrets.

Thank you

Cody

a reply to: cody599

Thank you Cody!!

a reply to: Night Star

Killer! That was truly chilling, way to go.

a reply to: CagliostroTheGreat

Awww, thank you!!

Short sweet and to the point ! WTG girl enjoyed it ! Now I am so humbled I probably won't enter (as he bows down in supplication and awe mumbling "I am not worthy"!)

a reply to: 727Sky

Wow! I myself am humbled by your reply. Oh, you are indeed worthy to enter and I encourage it! Now go...go and write that story!

Great entry, Night!

Chilling and creepy. I will be imagining those poor poor people...



Peace,
AB

i liked it! i brought some childhood memories by the campfire and my dad telling me stories of what has happened in the area where we were camping. Tho his was about ghosts and local history. Your story folded nicely and was easy to read !
Maybe in future that kind of things ( maybe even today ) are told by the fire .

a reply to: Night Star

Fun read that left me craving for more!

a reply to: Night Star

Loved the perspective coming from someone getting info 2nd hand. A clever way to focus on the important details. Your descriptive style and language made me feel as though i was there with them....maybe one of those in the white jackets

Gahhh! CLIFFHANGER!