The French SNAIL Thread.... The full horror...

First of all my sincerest apologies to all involved as normally we are not allowed to link to other threads...

However, seeing as this is quite a long and drawn out processus I would hope that all moderating staff reviewing this forum will have a little understanding...

Please... pretty please?

The very first thread that was posted can be found here : www.abovetopsecret.com...

This is the follow up for those that have not been able to keep up with this long and drawn out processus... with all the gory, snotty, mucous stained details of course for the gore fans...

Warning... graphic images will follow.

Forget Saw (all of them)... forget Hostel... (all of them)... what you are about to witness will probably make you want to scream for HUEY down the white porcelain telephone or honk up all over your keyboard...

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED...

Step four : Glug Glugh URRGGHHHHHHHH..... ouch it is getting hot in here?

What is needed :

A BIG yellow bucket... but however a purple, green, pink with black spots or whatever bucket you have available is all that you really need...

3 x 1 Kg bags of sea salt (pointless purchasing the more expensive salt as this is only to strain the snot and slather out of the snails)

Patience...

This is the yellow bucket on the left :



Fill it up with about 1 Kg of sea salt (see pic below) :



This is French sea salt but any kind of sea salt can be used (apart from Chinese sea salt as you never know what has been chucked into the packet...)

First of all, place all of your snails with much love and care in the bottom of the yellow (or whatever coloured bucket)...

Then proceed to empty 1 x 1Kg of seasalt onto the snails, making sure that they are completely covered... some snails may struggle but just hit them a couple of times on the head with a sledge hammer and this will calm them down very quickly.

Just after covering :



After one hour :



After 2 hours :



After 3 hours :

Notice snot and yukky yellow stomach contents starting to show... :



This will need to be repeated 3 days in a row with an extra 2 x 1 Kg of sea salt... tomorrow I will continue with the shock horror gore story...

Kindest respects

Rodinus

Jeajods;klfh ewt he4y man what, have u gone nuts man?

edit: I see, escargot. In the states this kind of thing gets you sent to psych hospital. LOL

originally posted by: nrd101
Jeajods;klfh ewt he4y man what, have u gone nuts man?

edit: I see, escargot. In the states this kind of thing gets you sent to psych hospital. LOL

*Twitches neck nervously and grins insanely whils rubbing hands*...

And I have not finished... something I forgot is that the snails HAVE TO BE MIXED every hour...

I tried this with my rusty Husqvarna chain saw (good old fashioned Saw and Hostel style) but unfortunately the yellow bucket did not appreciate this...And, to be quite honest, the snails were not too happy either...

So... will have to do with a knife as depicted below... also cuts the throats of the more nastier Gastropods who try to go for your neck when you are least expecting it... :



Remember when you were kid... we used to pick GUNK like that out of our noses and some kids in class would take great pleasure in eating the stuff in front of everyone???

BAARRFFFFFFFFFFF...

ETA : I am not in the States... so I suppose that this should not affect me that much... apparently?.... no? :



Kindest respects

Rodinus

Ok just to be sure
Before you purge them you dont feed them anything special, then when you have purged them for three days you dont feed them anything else, straight to the salt
Is that a correct understanding?
Thanks

Nothing... Only water.

Kindest respects

Rod

originally posted by: borntowatch
Ok just to be sure
Before you purge them you dont feed them anything special, then when you have purged them for three days you dont feed them anything else, straight to the salt
Is that a correct understanding?
Thanks

a reply to: Rodinus

Oh the Horror!! Even vicious attack snails do not deserve to swim in their own slime, drawn out by salt. Not sure I could eat them after seeing that. 2 more times you say?? 'shivers'

YUP...

You have met the god of snails... "Cough cough wink wink"

One bucket of snail slime on its way over to you... They say it is good for the skin!

Kindest respects

Rodinus

originally posted by: Iamschist
a reply to: Rodinus

Oh the Horror!! Even vicious attack snails do not deserve to swim in their own slime, drawn out by salt. Not sure I could eat them after seeing that. 2 more times you say?? 'shivers'

originally posted by: Rodinus
YUP...

You have met the god of snails... "Cough cough wink wink"

One bucket of snail slime on its way over to you... They say it is good for the skin!

Kindest respects

Rodinus

Keep that goo away from me Monsieur! EEEEEEEEEK lol

edit on 21-10-2014 by Iamschist because: (no reason given)

If you don't mind me asking, why the change of venue? Did the snails begin to smell? Did they run rampant and wreck the place?

I just wanted to refresh members minds... Thats why.

Respects

Rod

a reply to: Iamschist

Rodinus!! Your thread is like a car wreck. I kept saying I wasn't going to look, I wasn't going to scroll down... But a force beyond my control had me doing just that with a face that I'm sure looked like it smelled something foul wafting through the air lol.

Not only that, but I'm going to S&F it as well, simply because I did not know that fixing snails would take so very long. I have no desire to try them, but I can not NOT watch this thread now.

What in the world...

I think I need more coffee for this, now that's something to wake up to!

Too bad this doesn't work with slugs. We don't have those kinds of snails here, just slugs.

You know the difference between garden snails and escargot?





Their speed

a reply to: Rodinus

I had escargot once - really liked it actually, just haven't found myself anywhere they're a menu option since, but here's how it went down:

At a German restaurant for a friend's wedding rehersal dinner, it's one of the appetizers. Only a few of us out of the many ate any. I've only yet found one food I'll never eat again: sea urchin, so I'm ready to dig in. As the first one rides a slurp into my mouth, my buddy's dad sees the look of satisfaction on my face and says, "its like the biggest, tastiest booger you've ever eaten, right?!"

I paused, fought the visual, swallowed it down, looked him dead in the eye and said, "that's EXACTLY it - taste and texture... Pass me a few more." Those who didn't eat the snails, didn't look comfortable eating anything until quite a few glasses of wine went down.

Yum.

Wow. That is really not what I expected. At all. For whatever reason, I thought that they'd go a little more quickly once they'd been fasted a few days. Like being plunged in a boiling water bath or something. Although I guess I can see now why the salting is important. I'm pretty sure I'll never ever eat escargot ever again. Ever.

Despite the queazy state of my stomach, thanks for keeping us posted!

Plunged into boiling water??

What a horrendous way to go!

Kindest respects

Rodinus

originally posted by: MojaveBurning
Wow. That is really not what I expected. At all. For whatever reason, I thought that they'd go a little more quickly once they'd been fasted a few days. Like being plunged in a boiling water bath or something. Although I guess I can see now why the salting is important. I'm pretty sure I'll never ever eat escargot ever again. Ever.

Despite the queazy state of my stomach, thanks for keeping us posted!

a reply to: Rodinus

WOW!!!

I would have never thought that you would have to do the salting thing you just described to eat snails!

I am still not grossed out after having the pleasure of enjoying them once in my life.

I don't see it any more gross than having to kill ones own food and dress it.

Thanks for the culinary education!

Okay, I have to ask a few questions.

I have had escargot a couple of times in restaurants and I loved it. I've thought about trying to make this at home, but never knew where to get the supplies or how to go about cooking it. Now, here you are supplying the knowledge, but I have no idea where to get the supplies! I noticed the other day that our local Walmart has what appears to be snails in a long plastic tube next to the canned seafood. However, since these are in the tube dry, I'm assuming these are either the shells only or the snails are dehydrated?

I looked on Amazon, and I'm seeing the shells for sale and then I'm seeing canned or jarred escargot for sale. Is the canned stuff edible? Where can a woman buy fresh ones in Oklahoma? Lol.

Do you have any tips for picking tasty ones? Or is there any way to tell?

I've kept several hundreds of gallons of fish for the last ten years or so, so I don't think the prep work will gross me out or be a problem

Please look at the link in my opening post here, this may answer your questions.

Just for info have just finished rinsing the gunk after the first salting and nearly barfed my head off!

Pics of second salting to come tomorrow.

Kindest respects

Rodinus

a reply to: DustbowlDebutante