New York pastor’s wild ‘rectum’ rant: NASA Voyager probe proved ‘homos’ are perverts

a reply to: olaru12

What is with these pastors and rectum obsession lately?

Is there a psychological condition known that others obsess over other rectums?

As if the first thing i think of in the morning over my cup of coffee, is discussing your rectum, and what you are allowed to do with it.

Lol.

originally posted by: AnonymousCitizen

originally posted by: NavyDoc
Considering that Christ saved an adulteress from stoning, I'd say that his own book contradicts his statement.

Jesus: Let whoever is without sin cast the first stone!

[from back a crowd, a stone is hurled towards the adultress]

Jesus: [turning to look at who threw the stone] Mom?!?

Epic thread title

a reply to: NavyDoc

I'm almost afraid to ask what Manning thinks of The Life of Brian.

Any Christian who believes that Jesus would have stoned anyone is a complete and utter moron. This is how a religion is skewed by unintelligent people. Apparently they skew it to fit their own personal opinions, but they do not realize that they have done this. I just think that you have to be unintelligent to fall victim to such self-deception, but I admit that it could be a psychological condition of some kind, rather than a conscious decision. Regardless, didn't Jesus say something to the effect of "ye without sin cast the first stone?" So even if Jesus was without sin, he wouldn't have stoned anybody, but even if, by his own statements, he had that option, this guy doesn't. So attempting to persecute others in any way, whether physically or psychologically, is throwing that stone, and is something that no Christian should do. So how conceited is this guy to think that he is so much better than everyone else that he can tell everybody their sins while ignoring his own? Did Jesus not say the thing about the speck in your brother's eye with the board in yours? Meaning that you call out someone for their sins, when yours are ten times worse. You must use religion to combat religious zealots, as that is all they understand. You cannot attempt to counter them by stating their religion is not correct, as that will only make matters worse. This holds true for Islamic extremists as well.

"Rectum? Damn near killed him..."










DEMONS! DEMONS IN MY RECTUM!

Is there life in the rectum? Actually, there are trillions of bacteria cultures in the rectum. Far more life that can be found in the host organism than if you count the host itself, if you are counting...

Hilarious thread! LOL In the dictionary, beside the entry of "nut-job", there's a picture of Manning.

originally posted by: AngryCymraeg
a reply to: NavyDoc

I'm almost afraid to ask what Manning thinks of The Life of Brian.

Who knows. Monty Python is all white guys. He doesn't like white guys very much.

originally posted by: kalunom

“There is no life that will come out of a rectum!”

Oh yeah?! Where do you think attorneys come from?

New York pastor’s wild ‘rectum’ rant: NASA Voyager probe proved ‘homos’ are perverts

Now that NASA has been referenced by Rev. Manning; perhaps it's something to do with black holes or assteroids.

originally posted by: olaru12
...or assteroids.

Perhaps his displeasure stems from Deep Impact.

Clearly Mannings views all homosexuals as effeminate or involved in anal sex, neither of which is true.
One would wonder whether he would consider a very masculine man who enjoys non-penetrative sex with men as a "Sodomite", without changing his logic?
It's uncertain of what he thinks about heterosexual anal penetration, or the deadly viruses that heterosexuals can also contract through other body parts.

As for the rectum always being associated with death (after which he strangely mentions lesbians) I'm also not so sure.
Many of the dangerous diseases and bacteria actually came from specific sources that had nothing to do with the rectum at first.
Both historically and today there are communities who work with poop and swim in rivers of poop.
While it's clearly not advisable (especially for outsiders without immunity), it seems that before certain epidemics spread many communities lived very close to it.
The Bible might have been more helpful if it actually gave instructions on bacteria and viruses, and then maybe not so many people would have died from Cholera, until science slowly figured out the cause.

Even Ezekiel in the OT was instructed to cook with poop that came from a man (seemingly women's poop wasn't considered worthy) - whatever the symbolic reason, it didn't harm him (Ezekiel 4:12).
I'm glad for modern culture and plumbing, but no part of the body or cycle of life brings only death as a moral absolute.
In South Park Mr. Hanky explains to his son that he's not just a piece of waste, but the key to the circle of life.
If we want to stop new diseases (like HIV, SARS, Ebola, Mad Cow's Disease, Swine Flu) we should rather leave animals alone, or stop feeding them antibiotics in factories, and take Genesis 1:29 literally.

Anyway, his metaphor of the law of attraction is fulfilled with gender and sexual variety.
We have the opposite of everything, even in homosexuality.
We have gay men; and lesbian women.
We have drag queens; and drag kings.
We have male-to-female transsexuals; and we have female-to-male transsexuals.
We have homosexuality in nature, and species that change sex.
Everything in the entire universe tells us that his interpretations are not correct, even his own metaphors.

Be that as it may, it's his religion, and as a gay man I can respect that.

a reply to: LeatherNLace

You beat me too it

Sounds like he doth protest too much...

I got a half dozen posts into this one, and I couldn't go on anymore.

This horse hockey is hilarious comedy, if I read the whole thing, I'm gonna hurt myself.

You can't read it anyway when you're laughing so hard it makes you cry.



What the heck, I'm going back and picking up where I left off. I can't help it I guess.

Wow. That was so amazing I almost needed a cigarette after it. In the Land of Crazy Bullsh*t this man would be a God. He should change his title from "Pastor" to "Grand Master of Holy Sh*t!!"

You could show me a doctor doing surgery on a Galactic Space Monkey while playing a Piano made of fruit with his toes and I wouldn't find it as entertaining as this dude's Rant about everything from Demonic Sodomy to Universal Balance based on Rectum Philosophy.

When he busted out in song with, "Can I get a witness??...Can I get a witness???" I almost had to yell out an "Amen Brother!!"

If there was ever question as to just how primitive and unworthy Humanity is when being judged whether or not to be allowed to join the higher levels of Intellectual/Spiritual Brotherhood, this would certainly apply. How in the Hell was this guy ever allowed to speak as an authority on ANYTHING I will never understand. How much more sad are those that actually follow his teachings???

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Or perhaps... he had an unsatisfactory rectum based experience the night before.

Ya never know. That has been reported with people such as this.

a reply to: olaru12

Interesting -

but I don't see what this has to do with NASA's Voyager mission.

Wow! Looking at his history of hating so bitterly, perhaps these hate-filled rants come from fumbling with his soap in the showers during incarceration!? In other words, confusing that experience with real world natural differences between all genders and variations of love and lust. Hmmm?

originally posted by: CynConcepts
Wow! Looking at his history of hating so bitterly, perhaps these hate-filled rants come from fumbling with his soap in the showers during incarceration!? In other words, confusing that experience with real world natural differences between all genders and variations of love and lust. Hmmm?

Actually I think that he's just insane. None of what he said makes the slightest bit of sense.