back from the dark side.

originally posted by: woodwardjnr
... The morphine and steroids were making me hallucinate and I was also getting steroid phychosis, which turned me into a raging lunatic. I was shouting at nurses and cursing my family. ...

This part of your experience alone is more than anyone should have to endure. Let's put this person in the hospital and give them enough steroids (and other drugs) to make them insane and test their family's ability to cope!

I am truly sorry that you have had to go through all of this... Why is it that good people have to suffer? I wish I knew.
I wish the best for you and am glad you have found the strength to post here and share your experience with others.

Wow what an ordeal you sound like a very very strong person, you should be so proud of yourself that you have come so far in your recovery journey so quickly!!! My partners 14 year old brother just had a brain tumour removed a couple weeks ago, at first they thought he may have had a stroke because his whole left side went but apparently because the tumour was on his right side and had so much fluid around it, it affected the left side i always thought that if it was on the left it would affect the left side, he couldn't walk or move his arm which is why he was sent for a MRI in emergency and they found the tumour, he is going through PT now too, so maybe they didn't realise it was a stroke right away because of your pre existing conditions and that it can cause similar side effects. Im trully glad you are okay and recovering well, at the rate you are going im sure you will be feeling back to yourself very soon. Take care!

a reply to: woodwardjnr

Welcome back. Must have been quite the ordeal. Stories such as yours gives me hope and strength when things get tough for me.

The 'ol other people have it tougher than myself thing, so who am I to stop living.

Then again, I did have a Sergeant of mine once tell after a bad incident that I'm to stupid to give up and die.

Though I prefer the term, stubborn.

Hi and welcome back. It's great that you can resume posting- from the other side / the dark side, as you put it.

I missed your protest sign avi. Too funny.

Have fun catching up with all the latest. Well a lot of it should be fun.... Cheers!

a reply to: woodwardjnr

Oh some story man. I have my own though not as harsh as yours, it was years ago, they said I had cognitive heart failure or whatever that means. But I think it was mostly due to the fact that I burned myself out do to my lifestyle of getting little sleep every night eating nothing but junkfood and pushing my body to its limits physically in the gym. I would literally sleep about 4 to 5 hours a night, go to the gym for about 4 hours, then go to work for a typical 8 hours, all the while I would just eat junk food and fast food on the go, and drink a lot of soda and energy drinks to keep myself going, I gained more then 15 pounds of weight in some months before it happened both because of the gym, and because of all the junkfood I was eating. I did that for about 4 years before it started taking its toll on me, I even remember one day I went on a drive trip with a buddy of mine and felt like I was completely out of energy, even though I just woke up some hours ago, all of w which was slowly creeping in the past year or so.

Then one day I was at a job, I remember I felt like #, you know that feeling you get when you swim for a long time and then you walk back on the beach and sit down, a sort of vertigo feeling. Ya! I got that while working, like this thing goes "pop" in your head and you start to feel all weird, I even remember once leaning against this wooden light-pool outside and this chick walking by looking at me like "eh! What the hell is his problem" I was literally leaning with my back against it because I was ready to just lay there and not get back up. Anyways it went on like that for the rest of the day for about 4 hours, my arm started going numb then one side of my body getting all tingly, and you know that feeling you get when sometimes you wake up in the morning and get up real fast, then if you try to make a fist it feels like you cant, like you dont have the strength to even make a fist, and you feel all lightheaded, even your mouth feels and tastes all weird thought your have not ate anything you have this metallic taste in your mouth, well it was like that for that whole day, at the end of my shift then I got in my car to drive back home, it was one of the most intense driving experiences ever, I felt like puking and passing out and I really had to concentrate to keep going on the roads, I kept telling myself to keep going, even once in a while jolting myself by screaming to keep myself awake while driving.

Eventually I got home and crashed on the couch, I tried to sleep but didn't and there was this pain in my chest like a needles pricking. Eventually latter that day my parents took me to the local hospital and they did some x-rays, then I ended up in an ambulance being sent to a bigger hospital because they said they did not have the necessary equipment for treatment as they were thinking of doing some surgery, and the rest is pretty much history. And I think I even wrote about it on this site before. I ended up staying at the hospital for some weeks and did the whole pooping in a bucket in bed thing, and the whole peeing through a tube thing, they even wanted to do some surgery open me up and place some spring in a main heart artery or something, but I never agreed to it, eventually got out when I proved I can walk and even run by myself. After that I was on medication and blood thinners for a while, but that was years ago now. In all it was an interesting experience, but nothing like yours, no hallucinations or fevered dreams, or any of that being stuck in a medical facility for long periods of time.

Now I am, and have been pretty much back to normal, though I try to stay away from doing any stupid things, or from staying in jobs, or situations, were I get little to no sleep per day, or thing that pushes me to limits. In all it could have been much worse, and it was an interesting experience. I dont know if this will haunt me latter in life, but I suppose I will see. Right now though I physically feel great and I can do pretty much everything I could before before even though I am a bit out of shape then I was then. In all, it could be worse I guess and for many other people it is. So I really got no complains.

I'm so glad you are feeling better! My husband was in a terrible motorcycle accident and in a coma for a month. We did his PT at home with a therapist coming in 3 times a week. It was horrible for him and extremely painful. I feel for you! Congratulations on your speedy recovery.

I read your story and I must say it made me wonder how strong someone must be to go through all what you described..and than come in here and share the story ...with all the happenings in the back of your mind...I hope and I m sure that with that state of mind you will overcome the illness

Hey sweety, I have been worried about you, just on my mind a lot these days, so I asked one of my ATS buddies to check on you, as I have not been here myself for ages. I got the link on your story. I am so relieved you are still with us. I know you have been through hell, but hey, you had already been through hell before this. I treasure you my dear man, such a great guy.

I was in rehab following my heart attack/open heart surgery and you describe it perfectly I too was unable to sleep, hated the dining room etc. I also had to go on antidepressants and thank God for them. I had no nurses to flirt with 'pouts' lol. So glad you had them as a distraction, not to mention a bit of love never hurt anyone.

Love you honey bunny, glad you made it back.