I Love Her, Goddamn It! Please, Cassie... Just Talk To Me..

All names have been changed, any similarities to real people entirely coincidental. Yadda Yadda Yadda.

She was a sweet girl when I met her, an angel with flaxen hair and a nature that just said... "Talk to me."

So I did. She had a tough shell, sure... But that work project in class was fun.

Then we started hanging out after school...

God, so stupid, Grif! Should have told her then. You liked her the moment you laid eyes on her...

Then she gets a boyfriend. Woo-frickin'-hoo.

i love her, but he's planting seeds in what should be my field.

a reply to: Grifter42

Ouch man, that's the worst seeing the one you love with another.
Careful not to confuse love with infatuation tho.
Hope it works out for you but if it doesn't, plenty of fish in the sea.

Please dont give up. Been there, still there. Thought I was over it, hopefully one day I will. Keep your head up, it will get get better if you want it to. Music has helped me.

Art/music whatever. Find something to express YOU!

a reply to: Grifter42

i love her, but he's planting seeds in what should be my field.

Nope he's planting seeds in what is his field , jealousy will get you no where , she made the choice you have to accept it , either move on or be there for her should that choice prove to be a mistake.

You're not the first to be in this situation and you won't be the last , grit your teeth , grin and bear it otherwise what kind of a friend are you.

Sorry if it sounds harsh but I'm speaking from experience.

look man best thing you can do is walk away and forget about it, concentrate on becoming a successful, grounded individual, discover your identity.
I know it sounds crazy, but it will turn out better for you. walk away now set some goals and leave it behind, use it as motivation to become bigger and better.

You can't think of her as "your field". It's not right and it's not healthy. She is a girl you have feelings for and she found someone to be with. Yes, it may be your fault for not speaking up with honesty about maybe being more of a part of her life, but it's not your place to be angry at the other parties involved.

You have to understand the seriousness of what I'm saying. Even if you were dating and went on "a break" and she hooked up with someone, you have no grounds for anger at her OR at him. This is another person's life and she has the free will to make all the same choices you do. For any reason she desires. Even in marriage, you cannot "claim" her as your property. Many men are in prison for not understanding this.

a reply to: Grifter42
He sows his seed in her field which should be your field to plant seeds in, seems like the least he could do is let you watch them have sex.

originally posted by: Grifter42
All names have been changed, any similarities to real people entirely coincidental. Yadda Yadda Yadda.

She was a sweet girl when I met her, an angel with flaxen hair and a nature that just said... "Talk to me."

So I did. She had a tough shell, sure... But that work project in class was fun.

Then we started hanging out after school...

God, so stupid, Grif! Should have told her then. You liked her the moment you laid eyes on her...

Then she gets a boyfriend. Woo-frickin'-hoo.

i love her, but he's planting seeds in what should be my field.

You spent to much time in the "Friend Zone" with her. Now you need to be paitent and wait or move on. The pain in your heart will stop in a few weeks. Love is a very powerful emotion ....... makes people do crazy stuff! DON'T go off now and do something stupid!! It is your fault for dragging your butt so let the scenario play itself out.

Maybe somewhere ...... sometime ......in the future .......IF it is true love you two will hook up.

Good luck

Love is only Love if its reciprocated. There are 7 billion people on earth buddy.

Chin up.

originally posted by: Briles1207
Love is only Love if its reciprocated. There are 7 billion people on earth buddy.

Chin up.

7 billion.

so many rejections... :/

OP... school? man you got a long long journey ahead of you. walk it. some people try to fly before they have felt the wind...

a reply to: Briles1207

PS thanks for your avatar. My mind is already schizo enough. this trueman show has freaked me out and now... its Life On Mars time

a reply to: sn0rch

man you got a long long journey ahead of you. walk it. some people try to fly before they have felt the wind...

Isnt that the greatest quote, if someone had have only sat me down and told me that when i was young, and slapped me around a little to make sure i understood.
I'm going to make that my signature if you dont mind.

a reply to: Grifter42

Just be a good friend to her...for now....there is a 100% chance they will break up lol...then you can date her...

a reply to: Grifter42

i love her, but he's planting seeds in what should be my field.

That right there might be your problem....

a reply to: Grifter42

Yeah bro, we've almost ALL been there.

The feeling does suck but in all honesty you #ed up, you need to get told you #ed up (just to reinforce the negative feeling - it's needed sometimes) and from now on try to apply the mantra that sometimes feeling regret for what you did is much better than feeling it for what you didn't.

I'm sorry man. Hopefully, you'll learn from this like I said above rather than let it crumble you. People change a lot anyway. There's no true way to know how compatible you are with someone until you've at least attempted to live together for some short period of time.

But remember, if things start suddenly going bad with this new guy, and she instantly starts coming to you behind his back and pouring her heart, or casually flirting - STEP AWAY. She most likely WILL do the same thing to you.

I used to think this was the GOD technique of pulling girls when I was younger, because it almost always works lol, but it actually reveals a very deep insight into the girls character which is NOT easily changed.

On a lighter note, honestly, if its written behind the scenes and you're 'meant to be', it WILL resolve itself naturally. Now find inner peace and continue fighting, soldier.

You are probably young. So this feels like razor blades slicing through your heart and soul. But the best thing to do is move on. She is not yours. She never was. If she felt the same way about you. Even if you did not say anything. She would have. She chose someone else. If you keep this up. She will smell the desperation on you. You will lose any future chances to be with her.

Your best bet is to find someone else just like she did. Then if she does have any lingering feelings for you. They just might come out through jealousy. Through seeing you with someone else. Causing her to look at you as a future lover. If she ever breaks up with the guy she is with. Instead of being stuck in the friend zone forever. Or she might not ever have feelings for you. That is her right. You can not make someone love you.

Just from limited experience with women, I do know they find desperation a huge turn off. Just play it cool, like you could get any girl, easy come easy go, type of attitude.

Being a woman,

1.) We are not fields.
2.) We are not mind readers.

If you want her as more than a friend, you need to let her know that honestly, or else she may never realize you want more. Yes, we can be that oblivious. And you also need to respect her as a person in her own right. She's not your possession or a thing that can be taken from you. She's a living, breathing, feeling human being who makes her own choices, and right now, she's not choosing you.

If nothing else, learn from this, and use it to make yourself better with the next girl who comes along and sparks your interest because it will happen. Treat her honestly and with respect from the start. She may not choose you, but at least you'll know where you stand from the start and it might head off some of the heartache.

Cmon bro... listen to yourself! Getting all sappy about a chick. "But I love her!" No, you just want to boink her. You know Im right. But theres nothing wrong with that. You Should want to boink her! The reason youre not is because youre not being a man about it. You let "love" get in the way... love can come later! After you take care of whats important. Showing her that youre a man so she will desire you.

In order for love to happen, she has to desire you, right? And how can she desire you if she doesnt know you are a man? A man stands up for what is right, stands up for what he believes in, and isnt afraid of the repurcussions. You MIGHT have already messed things up with this girl, who knows? Luckily there will be another you can set your sights on before long.

You said you shouldve told her that you loved her or had feelings for her or whatever... well, sure, but you dont just tell a girl that kind of thing verbally, by talking with your mouth. No, you tell her with your Actions. Look in the mirror when youre done reading this... there is a man in there somehwere. Now look at yourself. Are you a man or a mouse? You're a man, right? Well what kind of man are you then? The kind who sits around talking all day about what youre gonna do? Or a man of action who goes out to take what he wants while the others sit around talking about it?

A man of action would wait for the right moment, when you two are alone, or nobody is looking at least, and pull her close and lay a kiss right smack on the lips. If she struggles or pushes you away, dont force her into it. Youre not a rapist for f#s sake! But that right there will let her know how you feel about her real quick. And if she kisses you back, then its like you are practically already bf/gf. Dont assume this though. You still have to ask her to be your gf...

Dont be afraid of any of this. The best that can happen is you get what you wanted, she gets what she wanted, everyones happy. The worst that happens is...whats already hapoening to you right now anyways. But what will everyone think after they find out you tried to kiss her and she rejected you?? Who gives a damn?! Just say "What? I thought she was minda cute, so I kissed her/tried to kiss her?" Youre a hetero male right? Thats what we do!

Its been shoved down our throat that theres nothing wrong with being gay, and that may be true, but theres also nothing wrong with being Not gay, or hetero. Be proud to be hetero! We are the reason humanity has continued for over a hundred thousand years! Dont ever let anyone make you feel shame for making a sexual advancement on a female. She may not want what you are offering and if thats the case, dont be rude about it. Be a gentleman and apologize. But dont feel any shame. If another man tries to give you a hard time about any of your failures, give him a hard time right back. At least you were brave enough to give it your best shot!

Love is the ultimate goal, sure, but dont start falling in love before you even know what her lips taste like! And how is she gonna know if she loves you or not until you make a move and she can see how you would be as a lover and not just a friend. You gave her your friend mode, so she was still waiting to see what you would be like as a lover because you never showed her that side of yourself. Maybe you dont even know what that side of you looks like. I suggest you get over your fears and find out. The sooner you know the sooner you can show the next "her" that comes along. Im just sayin, if youre waiting for a girl to grab You and kiss You and tell You all the things she likes about You, then you could be waiting waiting a while... cause most, not all, but most girls dream of a guy doing that to them... are you going to fulfill some lucky girls dreams or be a jerk about it and just sit there waiting ...for what?