Please, wake up!

Weird I said yourself instead of myself. Grammar error. Thats something I do sometimes. I cant decide if i should speak for myself or speak in generalities for others. Its like a confusion of conciousness.

I keep wishing parts of my life the ones i live now are just nightmares I can wake up from and return to where it was better but this is too long too real of a dream to take. So no dream

a reply to: MystikMushroom

Have anyone here actually felt this "divine loneliness"?

I have during a psychotic break, it is an absolutely terrifying experience..

I think it was my first brush with the Dweller in the Abyss, I didn't cross the gulf, wasn't meant to yet, but I know that one day I will have to, and that there might be no coming back from that.

originally posted by: TheLaughingGod
a reply to: MystikMushroom

Have anyone here actually felt this "divine loneliness"?

I have during a psychotic break, it is an absolutely terrifying experience..

I think it was my first brush with the Dweller in the Abyss, I didn't cross the gulf, wasn't meant to yet, but I know that one day I will have to, and that there might be no coming back from that.

I wouldn't call it divine. I'd call it malevolent. The "Dweller" you refer is not benevolent. I struggled with it for years and still hear it. It can't be trusted.

a reply to: Droogie

If indeed all this sick reality is my minds concoction than I should not wake up my madness should be contained or eliminated. For selfish reasons I hope an objective reality exists but sometimes I do wonder...

a reply to: Restricted

I was just calling it divine for lack of a better term, to signify the supreme loneliness of thinking that you're God and that there is no-one else, the sadness, the loneliness of thinking you created beings out of yourself just to not be alone anymore, but even worse, also realizing it, that it is all a game, an effort to forget that loneliness.

Solipsism I guess, and I guess that might sound narcissistic in the extreme but remember I had a psychotic break and it was in no way an effort in self-aggrandizement since it was in no part initiated by my conscious self, as well as not being pleasant in any way at all.

I wonder if it was a glance from the most high.. it pains me to think that it might be the truth... but could it really, seems stupid to think of human emotions when dealing with such inconceivable levels of reality, anthropomorphizing such a being. How futile an exercise.

a reply to: TheLaughingGod

No dear. People like you, have nothing to worry about.

The sadness is not malevolent. Just the fact it feels sadness, shows it has compassion. It is sadness because the gift that has been given is generally scoffed at, abused, and rejected.

a reply to: Droogie

Well being missed, is better then not being missed. If this life is a coma dream, then somebody somewhere will wake up from it..Eventually. But with so many sleepy heads about, really it could be anyone or everyone.

a reply to: Not Authorized

Well I'm not really worried?!

Don't really understand your post, are you talking about the (supposed) Dweller?
Could you elaborate, what gift in particular are you talking about?

Personally I find great beauty in sadness.. at times I've been addicted to it.

a reply to: TheLaughingGod

The Dweller. He's not Malevolent. He's sad because people could be so great, and choose not to be. The gift is creation.