Grocery aisle rage!

Today I had to go to the shopping mall, I hate grocery shopping because people there piss me off! After parking my car and heading towards the supermarket entrance there are hawkers selling car detailing products and I know they are gonna come for me because I have a nice looking car. I managed to avoid them going in, but they'll be waiting for me on my way back out and then they'll force me to tell them to # off!

So I get to the supermarket and the trollys/carts look like #, I chose what I thought was the best one and it still trundles off sideways making it difficult to steer. So I start my shopping experience down the back where the toilet paper is next to the icecream freezer. As I turn into the aisle there is a gaggle of women blocking the way, not one # was given by them even after they saw me coming. Then after I grumbled "EXCUSE ME" they give me black looks as if I had disturbed them or something. Don't go blocking the #ing aisle and talk # about how "Fluffy the cat was neutered" when other people are shopping for groceries!

While I'm on the subject of blocking aisles, there seams to be a growing trend of supermarkets blocking their own lately. They will stack extra products in the aisles that cause a bottleneck so only one shopping cart can get passed at a time, and if you have a # cart like the one I had then negotiating the commando course they have provided is even more #ed up! I'm pretty sure Occupational Health and Safety laws and regulations prohibit blocking aisles and lanes, but who gives a # right?!

Then as I turn sideways into the next aisle there is a married couple with 4 kids and not one of them are leashed! The kids are running amok playing chasey/tag and picking their nose, the parents seam totally oblivious to it all.

Then, I go to buy some nice fresh tomatoes and there is this old guy molesting them all. He picks one up, feels it all over then puts it down, then picks another, feels it up and puts it down.....Other people have to eat this # too and this guy is rubbing his grubby hands all over the produce!

I was only half way through my grocery list, but I had enough of my shopping experience so I headed sideways to the checkout. Now, there is 12 checkout registers plus 6 of the "do it yourself" types. Only 2 of the 12 registers are staffed and there are other people lined up waiting to be served, so I head to the self serve checkouts and people there have full trollys and by this stage as you may have guessed, I had lost my patience.

I notice a guy with a dumb arsed look on his face and assumed he was the manager, so I said to him "you need to open another checkout". He told me that checkout 12 was about to open down the other end, so I head down to checkout 12 and just as I'm approaching it the couple with the screaming kids gets there first!

Finally I get served and I head out the exit sideways, when a young man in a neon safety vest holding a can of "Waterless Car Wash" approaches me and says "Good morning sir". "# OFF!"

Who decided to #ing spell aisle like that anyhow? End of rant, that feels better.

This is a quality rant, sir. Well done!

a reply to: Metallicus
I just realized what I needed,

LOL I'm a daily shopper and go after work each day. I guess I'm use to it but seems better then than on the weekends.

I live in the Land of Entitled Stuffy Old Farts (a.k.a Florida) There's nothing worse, and I mean nothing worse than getting in the grocery store and finding it full of the elderly. Between the slow shufflers, the electric scooters moving at a snail's pace, and the blatant ignoring of "excuse me" while trying to get by them in the isles, it's all I can do to remain polite through gritted teeth. Oh no, no, I take that back.
There is worse.
Getting in the checkout line and having a elderly dedicated check/cheque fan slooooowly fill it out to pay.

originally posted by: Nyiah
I live in the Land of Entitled Stuffy Old Farts (a.k.a Florida) There's nothing worse, and I mean nothing worse than getting in the grocery store and finding it full of the elderly. Between the slow shufflers, the electric scooters moving at a snail's pace, and the blatant ignoring of "excuse me" while trying to get by them in the isles, it's all I can do to remain polite through gritted teeth. Oh no, no, I take that back.
There is worse.
Getting in the checkout line and having a elderly dedicated check/cheque fan slooooowly fill it out to pay.

But on a positive note, if you have to break wind, no one will notice or they will think it's them.

a reply to: Nyiah
I've noticed senior citizens like to push in line too, thinking that they can get away with it. Nothing but riff raff I tell ya.

I recognise all of those annoyances, I keep supermarket shopping to the least possible and have it delivered instead, for fresh produce I prefer M&S as it's a nicer experience.

People blocking the way is irritating wherever it is, especially if they are 'wide' and there are a few of them, blocking pavements, store entrances and store aisles, and it seems like some are doing it on purpose, they see you yet they don't move and wait until they are asked then no apologies.

Similarly for irritating kids on the loose, especially if they are tiny, getting in the way and meandering around, as well as sometimes being loud.

And even stores are at it now as you said, sticking their cages in the way.

Another annoying this is those who place their trolleys at an angle blocking the aisle.

People touching the fruit etc is ew, I often choose from the box underneath or buy the produce in plastic.

Store etiquette rules might be a good idea, like those rule boards in swimming pools with crosses through the banned actions.

Okay...first world problems and all... lol!

I feel you OP - I hate the grocery store as well. But I spent four months on bed rest so, since then, all shopping is just surreal and maddening to me. I guess the break from the constant deluge of people, products and marketing helped me to see it for how crass it really is.

Anyways, grocery store...What really irritates me is when you are pausing on an aisle to select an item and someone barges into your personal space to get an item as well. FFS! They can't wait the five seconds it takes for me to decide on package size or variety? Then, conversely, I've had people stand and chat with each other right in front of the area I need to be...and they are oblivious to the fact that they are blocking others from selecting an item and moving on.

There's an unofficial/unspoken etiquette or cadence to grocery shopping and when people don't follow it, it's irksome.

Now, back to actual problems ...

originally posted by: maybee
But on a positive note, if you have to break wind, no one will notice or they will think it's them.

My husband did precisely this once! In the checkout line, with an elderly couple taking their sweet time in front of us. He did a rather nasty silent one, and the old woman's head whipped around towards her husband in disgust, "RICHARD! In public?!" And then she smacked him, rotfl. We both had a hell of a time keeping a straight face and not laughing XD

a reply to: kosmicjack

There's an unofficial/unspoken etiquette or cadence to grocery shopping and when people don't follow it, it's irksome.

Yes, I agree there should be laws about this stuff.

a reply to: maybee

But on a positive note, if you have to break wind, no one will notice or they will think it's them.

LOL, I almost spit my coffee out!!!

Yeah, I have experienced the dreaded grocery shopping scene. Just yesterday I was checking out and the lady that was supposed to be bagging the groceries was talking to a relative or friend. I am disabled and my back was killing me standing there and wished she would just do her damned job. Finally she starts bagging items and instead of putting them in the cart right away, she has them sitting on the counter. Slow as molasses she continues until the cashier had to help.

Then you get the parents who allow their little kids to push the cart and they are in the middle of the aisles blocking the way. It is annoying as hell when someone sees you waiting to pass as they are blocking the aisle and they take their sweet time to move if they move for you at all. They clearly see you and know you need to get by. What the hell?

Then you get the pleasant but chatty cashier who will talk someone's ear off while her line grows longer and impatient. Yes, be pleasant but don't carry on a conversation with each and every customer without cutting it short. Man!

Anyone ever get the pretend homeless guy in the parking lot that's begging for a dollar? I seem to get that a lot. Then I realize they have very nice nike shoes and , and an iPhone on them...(begging must be a good income)And sometimes they come right up to my car while I'm loading groceries from my cart to my car. That spooks me, I don't like that.

Fun Things To Do While Shopping!

1. When the wife is shopping, secretly change her cell phone ring tone to fart-noises. Then call her repeatedly while she is shopping. (true story, I had to buy her something afterwards)

2. Dance with your significant other to the crappy music in the aisles.

3. Do all your shopping and speak as if you are performing an Opera. My son and I do this.

originally posted by: beezzer
Fun Things To Do While Shopping!

1. When the wife is shopping, secretly change her cell phone ring tone to fart-noises. Then call her repeatedly while she is shopping. (true story, I had to buy her something afterwards)

Too funny!

LOL man the the struggles of obtaining food. This is what is called a privileged complaint IMO. Sick people walking around, old people touching stuff and kids acting like kids.... We should just close those establishments down... Back to the fields of corn. Where the aisles are lonesome.

Maybe grocery stores need to use the swimming pool strategy of adult swim. For ten minutes of every hour the only people allowed to shop are men on a mission. That might save the life of an isle blocker someday...
Great rant by the way,,

a reply to: weirdguy

I try to avoid all your mentioned issues. Generally, because I wake up with the birds, my husband and I head out to buy groceries early in the morning and arrive when the store opens or shortly thereafter...avoiding the rush.
I have been in stores that are packed with customers, usually due to a long weekend or storm coming (people rush to shop like it's an apocalypse) and it drives me crazy being around that many people. Just aggravates my nerves. Best to just avoid it altogether.
My biggest issue has always been, that the store gets suddenly busy for whatever reason, and there is only one or two checkouts open. They do not bother to call anyone else.
It's like, ok, I only have a loaf of bread and a carton of milk here, and the only checkout open has three people with full carts in front of me!? GRRRR. Early morning shopping has saved my sanity. As for the elderly, I have no issue. I guess I have an approachable look to me as many often ask for help either reaching something, or reading a label, and I do not mind. After all, someday that will be me.

I hate going shopping with women, why do you girls have to look at everything on every aisle then when you get to the end of the supermaket start going back looking at stuff again, women make a whole day out of it.

Myself I know exactly what I came in for just get them items pay and go, im in and out in 20 minutes no faffing about, when I go with women it's a 2 hour visit.

OMG, I am glad I am not the only one

I can't take it. I do not know if it is me or the people in the store or both.

Aisle cloggers push me to the edge. If I have to look for something, I push my cart to the side so folks can get by. Not the cloggers, no way. It's their world and everyone else just needs to make due. Obviously not everyone is like this but a healthy percentage. And you know I am not talking about the little old lady walking slow.

Is it a dominance thing? Is it lack of empathy? Complete ignorance of spatial concepts? Poor upbringing? No situational awareness? Whatever it is, the lack of a true Darwinian environment over the last few centuries has produced this subset of oxygen thieves.