Forgotten Things Remembered. A Meditative Rant.

Dear ATSers,

A rant is for getting things off your chest? This fits, then. Some of it, you'll see, is my chest itself, who I am. There may be something worthwhile here. But everything here is mine. I give it to you for your use if it is suitable.

I like looking at trees. They go up, up, and up, drawing the eye. They seem to know they are headed Home.

God has to be infinitely better than I am. I know what I'm like, and you really don't want a Universe run by me. "Do as thou wilt?" Are you completely insane, or just totally evil?

I never enjoyed playing hockey, tennis, or racquetball. But handball and soccer? That was fun.

Are you fighting a person, or an idea? A person is much more valuable than an idea. An eon from now the idea won't even be a memory. The person will still be eternal. If you're fighting a person, you'd better be deep in wisdom and in God. That's dangerous territory.

Please don't miss out on enjoying wine. If your body allows it, throw a feast with a good red wine. Be an Italian in spirit. Dance, sing, pray, love, feel the earth.

Oh, there is evil. Spiritual, damned, treacherous, destroying, evil. But it wouldn't have a chance if you didn't find it attractive or easy to rationalize. More important than a medical check up is an affection check up.

Joy is everywhere. Sometimes the pain shuts our eyes to it, but it's there.

I don't care for pain, personally. Oh, the feeling is bad enough, ask me about my removed gallbladder, but the temptation! That's my problem. I want to be pampered, excused from my work, allowed to feel sorry for myself, become self-centered. That's what scares me.

I went down to a local stream a couple of weeks ago. There was a branch stretching out towards the center of the stream. I became sixteen again. Please don't tell my mother or my doctor about my trip out on that branch. My heart pounded, but it was amazingly worthwhile. A little insanity is very good.

I hate hate. It tries to sneak in under several disguises, some times we don't even recognize it at first. But there comes a time when we ask ourselves if we are going to stop our hating, or keep it up just a little longer because we're winning, or it feels good. That's Death.

I get confused a lot. A fellow told me once that I was just acting like a nice guy. I still can't figure out how he wanted me to act.

Very few people realize how tremendously difficult focused, serious thinking is. Very few know how to do it, we're not trained in it. It's worth trying now and then. If you get to twenty minutes uninterrupted, please send me a U2U, so I can learn.

Honest, the first time I was called an Israeli shill, I spent time looking up the shells of the Red Sea.

No, you can't talk to women, not really. Especially not now when they're undecided about who they are. You can "interact" with them in a rather distant way, or you can love them completely as Jesus did, or the very best of men.

I'm a little surprised at the number of Black heroes I have. It dawned on me about a year ago. Statistically, it shouldn't be that way. I think I have about eight times the number of Black heroes as I should (statistically). I wonder what's up?

Why do women have to go to the bathroom together?

Find out what supply and demand curves demonstrate. Know what artificial restraints cause in a market. Know what the Laffer curve is. Understand basic statistics to include sampling.

How are husbands and wives supposed to behave? People seem to object to the Biblical version. They think it makes women inferior. Another case of "I don't know what I'm talking about - itis." The man is called on, clearly, to sacrifice everything he has and is, including his life, for his wife. A man who is serious about marriage, literally puts his life on the line as a gift for his wife.

If you don't have a nodding acquaintance with Socrates, Dante, Shakespeare, Newton, The Federalist Papers, St. Thomas Aquinas, the Hallelujah Chorus, Michelangelo, The Mayflower Compact, The Bible, Roget's Thesaurus, Kipling, Dixieland and Big Band, the Reformation, Greek and Roman culture and thought, and so much more, you've been blinded by our school system and damaged infinitely beyond anything that can be done by a GMO, a chip, or racist language.

Find Truth. Find Beauty. Find Love. Find God. Show those to others. Stop wasting your time with trivia.

Do you think any of this is fake? No. I'm old enough so that I don't have to impress anyone on earth. I've done enough impressing. Surprisingly, even that gets old after awhile. I have no reason to try to be fake with you. What a stupid, petty, game that would be. I have, instead, a duty to be honest and open with you. Sure, I foul up sometimes. I'm sorry. I hope you'll forgive me. I hope God will be merciful to me.

Yes, there is a guy code. No, you can't get me to tell you what's in it. Once, a woman saw part of it. All she could do was say, "That's silly," as she went to meet her girlfriends for lunch and a shopping trip.

I was married once. I can't even begin to grasp the thinking of those who can marry three, four, five times, or more, with each one lasting three years or less. Don't people know what marriage is? You know, I guess we don't anymore.

Consider anesthesia. Do you want a tooth filled, a Caesarian birth, or an appendix removed, without it? How about Aspirin? Penicillin? "Big Pharma" has a long way to go before I see them as a net minus to mankind.

Someday, dance with a member of the opposite sex, holding each other, moving gracefully from place to place on the dance floor, never simply rocking to and fro. Take lessons if you have to. Ballroom dancing, with all it's terrors to the average male, can be one of the top ten experiences of a man's life.

Write a piece of poetry. Taste the words. Go through the labor of rearranging them, looking for just the right image, then realize you have to do it a bit differently. It is a little like labor to bring forth a creation of your own. Try it sometime.

With respect,
Charles1952

I was once told by my father that when you tell someone your story you are giving them a part of you (context was the war)

Girls go to the bathroom together for conversation about guys they don't go together if there isn't a guy of interest present

My father told me that man and wife in context of the bible when the last time god walked with adam he gave him leather to cover both him and his wife the deeper meaning was that something innocent has to die to cover yourself (until Jesus comes of course)

this wasnt a rant on your behalf it was literally a fountain of wisdom and interesting thoughts thanks for sharing bro!

Hi Charles, I've been a member on ATS for about a year and a lurker for years before that, each time I've seen one of your posts I've thought that it was very well thought out and a valid, experienced opinion on each subject.

I enjoyed reading this thread, there's a lot of wisdom here in my opinion, these are clearly things you've learned whilst negotiating a learned path through this maze of life and as a 25 year old I think I could learn a lot from your experience, I'll read this thread a couple of times again today I think. Thanks for taking the time to write it and from one truth seeker to another, all the best,
Elijah23

a reply to: Brotherman

Dear Brotherman,

You're welcome, and I'm glad some of it was good.

I've had some U2Us with management lately and they tell me that there isn't anything really wrong with the site, it just goes through it's cycles and the old-timers have seen this over and over.

Still, it struck me that there's been a lot of ugly and nasty things said lately. I wanted to "get out" in a sense, and remember who I am, and talk about life and goodness for a little while.

With respect,
Charles1952

a reply to: charles1952

Hey chucky,

Ive been here awhile I have seen alot been reading here since 04 joined in like 2010 I've seen a lot of things here, I have seen one thing of interest more so then not lately. You may expect me to talk about people continuing to talk fiercely about current events, those are at the surface but if you look closer there is also a lot more members becoming more human with one another outside right and wrong, just humans and become friends. I have been talking, skyping members from this site for years now I won't call them out but will say that again even out of all the bad on the surface this place is doing good and bringing people together.

a reply to: Elijah23

Dear Elijah23,

Thank you for taking the time to write. I'm really kind of stunned. I remember 25. I don't know what to write. I wish I could give you a book. There are times, and you may have felt them, when you heart becomes full and tries to overflow. I don't know if that's something that comes when you get to be an old geezer, but you might be talking to your best friend, or wife, or elderly parent, and you just feel a certain tightness and a desire to let them know something important.

For me it's "I have so much to tell you! You don't know how vital you are to eternity. You don't know what tremendous things are ahead of you if you choose the right fork in the road. I want to give you everything I know, maybe there's a piece that will save you some day."

Have you ever grabbed a girlfriend and given her a hug that would have crushed an ordinary tank car and said "I love you so much!!!" and you couldn't get all of that love into that hug, but you knew you had to?

I know, I'm crazy. But sometimes I feel that for the people of ATS. I felt it just now for you.

This is certainly one of the stranger posts I've ever written. Well, back to normalcy.

With respect,
Charles1952

a reply to: Brotherman

Dear Brotherman,

Thanks, that's really encouraging news, I appreciate hearing it. Sometimes the best thing we can do is just give each other a little boost to keep going. Getting to know each other makes that easier, and I think it will make some of the arguments look petty in comparison.

I'm glad you're around.

With respect,
Charles1952

a reply to: charles1952

im guessing your from 1952 if I surmise correctly, youve seen so much stuff change. If so then you also understand my knowledge is based on everything taught and what I see around me, that said lucky for me Im an artist and love to draw and paint/ learn the world in front of me. your a rad member don't take a hiatus (if I remember correctly you did one of those before)

a reply to: Brotherman

Dear Brotherman,

You're absolutely right, I'm qualifying for all of those 62 + discounts. (Believe me, they're not worth it. I'll trade a couple of bucks for five years anytime.)

An artist! Congratulations! That's a great gift and burden at the same time. But the things you'll be able to do. Wow.

You can bring beauty, and laughs to people. Show them the truths that you can see, that they can't. You can stretch their imaginations, bring them to new worlds of truth and grace. Oh, Brotherman, what a gift you have. I can almost imagine you with a line of cartoons. I can also see you making landscapes that aren't quite of this world, but they're what this world could have looked like.

No, I'm not getting mystical on you, I'm just a guy. But I am impressed by your ability. When you feel like it, you might want to post a few of your pieces. I know your work at 25 will be different than that at 45, but it should still be good to see.

Yeah, I had to take a break. The whole thing seems like an interesting story, but not now. For some reason, tonight feels like a night to dance and sing and enjoy all of creation.

With respect,
Charles1952

a reply to: charles1952

=D I dont believe in mystics, have you seen my work before? If not some is available on ats? I'm 28 an antique Marine grunt thank you for the kind words bro, most of my art reflects the darker sides of the world cause thats where I live in. I'm not sure if its a choice or it is where I reign as a king. These places are not very easy for people to explore but Ive had a harder time getting out and when I do, I sneak back in.

a reply to: Brotherman

Dear Brotherman,

I've seen your Avatar a couple of times, and I know a little about honey badgers, but other than that I only know what you've told me tonight. I've not seen your work. But a 28 year old Marine says a lot in itself. I'm a wimp, went Army and was just a bit too late for Viet Nam. I have huge respect for your skills, and the fact that you've used them without becoming used by them.

Some are called to go into the dark places to drive out the evil and make it possible for others to bring light. You bring to mind the standard picture of St. Michael. Go look it up if you're not familiar. He's the angel in charge of God's military operations, and he's often shown about to drive a spear down the throat of a dragon-demon.

That is one terrible job that is not a safe place for the weak, a salute to you. But get your R&R in the world of light and beauty. Don't let that talent get bent through overexposure to the evil.

With respect,
Charles1952

a reply to: charles1952

I don't exactly know what to say after reading your last post. I'm not sure what I am religiously but can say for certain it is not really like I physically live in dark places but there really is a darker mentality that I have I am not sure how to explain it, not long ago I tried like hell to save some kids life on my living room floor broke into my house to die over dosing on drugs instead of shooting him or beating him broken I kind of knew what to do with the guy even though I didn't know he was over dosing or dying at the time, he flat-lined twice on my living room floor and lived. 4 weeks ago I broke my right fibula working in my yard broke it at my ankle I had to reset it myself and walked with it busted to my neighbors for help, I didn't make it to the hospital for 3 days because I couldn't drive myself. My work as an artist is absolutely terrible if looked at in context because most of it instead of trying to show a visceral realistic image (I can do those too) I try to convey a thought or an emotion in a way I am trying to let someone read a thought from me instead of give it away like a brochure some get it some don't. It certainly isn't for everyone. I am not sure about St. Micheal I don't know why an angel would come to mind I do feel like where I am is a darker place and even though I don't like it always find my way back, always find a way to help, and usually the craziest things get thrown at me, I am certainly no angel though even though I realize angels don't have souls and are capable of really getting their hands dirty. In the grander scheme I am probably a lot more insignificant but could also be a lot more if I chose to be, I'm still not sure bro. I have to admit since I was active in the infantry and came back to America and what some call a normal life, I have been all kinds of things but mainly scared. Been homeless, been robbed, been beat up, been poor, been taken advantage of I lost a lot of things in less then 5 years and I will lose a lot more, I have a whole other world to learn as well. Optimism is not an option its necessary, failure is not.


here is a latest work I finished

Charles, I always find your posts coherent and well-thought out and frankly a pleasure to read. Thank you for taking the time to write them.

Btw, I agree with you about marriage. I might be about the only woman in the world who agrees with that (no, I know that's not true, but some days it sure feels like it).

a reply to: Brotherman

Dear Brotherman,

I haven't taken some of the paths you have. Your drawings show scenes and feelings that I haven't come across in my life.

I have seen a dark mentality. I don't know of any way to get rid of darkness but to push it aside with light and love. There will always be something in your mind and in your soul. First, see the good, the true, the beautiful. Rejoice in it, encourage it, create it.

Blood has many meanings, I don't know you, or what your meanings are. The strength in your work and your being is clear. You may never believe it, but of all the things you might possibly be, insignificant is not one of them.

This is a tricky moment for me to write much more, and my mind is unsettled anyway.

With respect,
Charles1952

a reply to: charles1952

I'm sorry your mind is unsettled.