I'm writing an article of which I'd submit to ATSNN (my first attempt), I'd like it revised., page 1

This is my first attempt on writing it, so I feel that it obviously won't be as stellar quality as other news articles. Given that, I would like someone experienced to give me writing tips on my article so I can make it better.

SUBJECT-Bush outlines Foreign Policy in Canada

Introduction Paragraph
December 1st 2004-George W. Bush arrived on Halifax, Nova Scotia explaining his goals on foreign policy with a speech he gave to Canadians. Throughout the speech, he mentioned how he planned to change the mistakes he made through the first administration. George W. Bush implied that spreading Democracy would be the only way to bring peace throughout the Middle East. During the speech George W. Bush flouted the U.N for not supporting his war on Iraq. "The objective of the U.N. and other institutions must be collective security, not endless debate," he said. "For the sake of peace, when those bodies promise serious consequences, serious consequences must follow.�

"A new term in office is an important opportunity to reach out to our friends," the president said, making his most extensive remarks on foreign affairs since his reelection last month. Pledging to "foster a wide international consensus" for "three great goals," he said the first would be "building effective multinational and multilateral institutions and supporting effective multilateral action." The other priorities, he said, are fighting ********* and promoting democracy.
Aides said Bush's message on his two-hour stop in Halifax was a preview of the sentiment he would voice on a trip to Europe this winter: extolling the importance of international cooperation while holding his ground on policy. A White House official said after the speech that the looming foreign challenges of Bush's second term -- Iran, North Korea and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict -- are likelier to be solved through diplomacy than with the sort of force used in Afghanistan and Iraq. "Diplomacy," the official said, "is essential to consolidate the gains of the first term."
The president listed several areas where Canada and the United States cooperate, including weapons nonproliferation, AIDS, and policy toward Iran and North Korea. He said multilateral organizations "can do great good in the world."

Commentary: George W. Bush fails to realize that the United States has worked several times to reach an agreement between the Palestinians and the Israelis, the problem wasn�t diplomacy but it was actually the suicide bombers who�ve made it clear that they do not want peace. It was mainly the Israelis and Palestinians fault that kept them from earning peace. The lack of security measures which both prime ministers of each country took place upon the suicide bombers made them feel as if they were invincible. Since they took little measures on this huge issue, every time we were closer towards getting a peace agreement, they then bombed and k i l l e d several Israelis thus partitioning the problem even further. In a situation as Iran, it�s much more likely that they will be forced to go to an all out war with him getting Nuclear Warheads and claiming that he has the best navy, one who is open towards Democracy would probably not mention this. On a lighter note, George W. Bush made it clear to Canadians that hockey would be reinstated and Canada�s sport and the NHLPA would once again be intertwined, from a call that angered many hockey fans.
Original Source:
www.washingtonpost.com...
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