Accept what´s happening, stop resisting, stop suffering

Right now my formula is like this:

I still seek what i like, and avoid what i don't like

example: I like to be with my family, i seek it. I don't like the idea of seeing my dog being ran over, so i avoid it.

I could give millions of examples.

So i don't deny choices, preferences, likes and dislikes, i still have a route, i still have a path, preferences give me a way.

I'm not saying i truly control my life, that's another question i wont address right now.

The freedom point is this: although I do not abdicate preferences, i truly accept what life is at the moment.

I may even want to remove the event that is causing me bad vibes (i know its my reaction to it that generate the bad vibes but it doesn't matter, i`m beyond that) but as long as the event is present it is accepted.

Examples: something happens and it gives me bad vibes. I try to remove the event but i cant, or i haven't made it yet. I wont try to defend myself from the bad vibes through rationalizing it like: oh its fine, this event has a very good side to it, if i think about it, its good, its a lesson, i will get tougher etc etc.

I WILL NOT TRY TO RESIST IT by making good judgement of it.

Positive thoughts to fight bad vibes are just a way to reject, to avoid, they create energy stagnation. You might even feel some relief but in the long run they create suffering and pain because they are an inner conflict. I wont accept bad vibes so i will fight them with positive affirmations, NLP etc etc. Its just a form to block energy.There is no flow, there is conflict.

No, this time, i will accept what the event is making me feel, i will not try to run away from it with positive thinking because that's just a fearful reaction: oh no, bad vibes again, run, hide, defend yourself, rationalize it, apply positive thinking, kill it!

This is rejection of a part of life, this is resistance, this is inner conflict, this will create energy stagnation and disease.

Why don't i just be a courageous adult and take it, accept it, just live it.

I don't have to be so attached to the white (good vibes) and avoid the black (bad vibes).

Its all part of life. If i reject the bad feelings they will accumulate in my unconscious and they will return stronger.

So the secret is, i make my choices, i seek what i like and try to avoid what i don't like but always accept what is happening both internally and externally.

Acceptance is the key, non-resistance, just surrender to the now, witness it and surrender to it.

I don't have to give up on my will and my choices but i adapt to life, flow with it, accept it.

Imagine you are walking, the road is moving all the time. Sometimes it goes left, other times it goes right. No matter what your wishes are, if the road is going left but you insist in going straight, you will knock your head on the wall or you will go off-road.

We don't really control like, life is happening, even your wishes, your likes and dislikes, they happen, you don't choose them.

We don't choose what we are. You chose to buy an ice cream, you chose strawberry. But did you really chose to like it? You are like that... You didn't choose to like girls or boys, you are like that... And its your likes and dislikes, that you didn't choose, that determine your choices. So wheres your free will? Why are you a good person? Did you choose to be nice? Why aren't you like a serial killer? Did you choose to be a good boy? Life happens, you happen.

So our ability to control life is very weak, its better to always flow with it, accept whats happening, even if you want to change it, you have to accept it while it lasts and most importantly recognize and accept what it makes you feel. Who knows, maybe you will find out that bad feelings are not so bad after all, as long as you don't run from them.

I know this is a widely disclosed theory (Echart Tolle, Buddhism, many authors) but i just felt like sharing it with my own words.

Take care

In the Immortal words of Bruce Lee

a reply to: Jonjonj

Be water

In astrology the water signs are adaptable, they flow with life.

I have some issues with the 12th house to resolve, its a water house, the Pisces house, so i think i am dealing with them right now.

I need to learn how to accept events and emotions

a reply to: Manula

It's really rather simple, adapt.

a reply to: Jonjonj

Yes, that's the passive, female way, but one could argue that you can transform reallity and try to change it.

Thats why hard work is so valued, people want to change stuff, they dream of changes, the whole life is based on the need to be active, change, transform, achieve.

People forget to adapt, be fluid, accept, say yes to happenings...

a reply to: Manula

There is no sex to reacting to reality I believe, we are above all, people. Hard work is valued simply because it shows implication. That is appreciated by all. However, and it's pretty obvious, that which will not adapt, dies. Is there anything more fundamental than that?.

a reply to: Manula

So the secret is, i make my choices, i seek what i like and try to avoid what i don't like but always accepting what is happening both internally and externally.

While this line of thought looks good in text, what happens when it fails to deliver?

As you said, choice is key, but what happens when the things that bring you joy, no longer bring you joy? That was once my situation. Its a slow process, but little by little, your soul becomes caluss to the things that once brought pleasure, relaxation, stimulation, inspiration, and most of all, peace of mind.

I've determined (for myself), that happiness does not come from within, nor from pleasurable environment (ei, family, friends, vices, apathy, philosophy,etc). Instead, true happiness comes from a relationship with our Creator, often called God.

It sounds cliche, but sometimes the truth is so obvious and in-your-face, that it is often overlooked.

The philosophy that saved me in my frantic search for happiness is this:

We are all sinners (flawed/incomplete). Our Creator incarnated Himself as His only begotten Son to pay for our sins. Once you believe that, you have been initiated into unconditional Eternal Life, and you also have established a basic relationship with our Father. From that point, the consistent study of His word accompanied with the consistent use of 1 John 1:9 will bring this relationship to maturity, with a guarantee of unmatched Perfect happiness. I can only tell you these things from experience.

Im not trying to turn this into a theological thread, but sometimes philosophy and theology share common ground.

Believe or disbelieve, you dont have to ask me for answers. Instead, ask God.

Accept nothing, pay attention to only the things that effect you and yours directly. Take some time away from it all, rediscover the real important and meaningful things in your brief lives.

It will all be over soon enough, make the best of life while you still can.

If the road goes left you go left, if the road goes right you go right but as long as you move forward you will be able to find what makes you happy. If you just accept things that you don't like and not try to change them how can you be happy?

originally posted by: JHumm
If the road goes left you go left, if the road goes right you go right but as long as you move forward you will be able to find what makes you happy. If you just accept things that you don't like and not try to change them how can you be happy?

I said that i still seek what i like and avoid what i don't like.
But i accept whats happening.
I can say, ok, im in a traffic jam, i accept it, its natural, its happening, but i would like to exit it and while i don't reject this experience, i still will try to get out of it. If i cant get out, i wont do anything, just wait till it passes.
The wish for something different doesn't have to make you reject what´s happening now.
What´s happening is accepted but we can still have our own agenda.

An example: something happens and its making you feel bad. While you are removing the event you can accept that its happening and you can accept what it makes you feel.

I now think that its not good to reject bad feelings, let them be, let them enter, stay and exit, don't fight them.

Just try it.

originally posted by: Manula
Just try it.

Unfortunately you don't just try it. That's like telling someone with depression to get over it.

I agree with what you are talking about in theory but it's impracticable because that's not how the mind works. Many times suffering doesn't pass on its own, we have to take action to change the course of suffering in our lives to some degree or another. What if someone is being abused? Should they roll with the punches thinking that it will stop?

a reply to: Ralphy

Happiness is a choice. Pure and simple. I choose to be happy, so I do the things that make me happy and the things that happen that I cannot control, I do not worry unduly about.

The fact is with regards to virtually every problem: This too shall pass.

Life is cyclical... the question is, will you learn anything from misfortunes?