Best Friends!

I just was having thoughts about the friends I cherish most.
Some of them are characters that are not unanimously appreciated by others. It seems I like weird people.

I thought about my best friend, who I love deeply, and yet many people don't connect well with her. Everything I like most about her, many others are put off by. I guess that must say something about me.

I thought of the qualities I especially appreciate:

I can always count on her to tell me what she really thinks.
Even if it is different from mine, or even a complaint about me, she will speak it right away, and in a mature neutral way- not telling me what I should do or be differently, but taking full responsibility for her own thoughts, reactions and emotions. No attachment to outcome.

I like to make slightly disparaging comments at times, on things about myself that I consider a fault or a weakness- I don't take ti seriously that I have faults or weakness, no one is perfect, and all is process. But I consider it important to be honest with myself about them, and to approach them with lightness and humor.

She never ever will respond with a gush of silly compliments to that. She sits silently and listens, or laughs with me. God, I want to hug her when she does that! I hate when people answer with a bunch of ego stroking, making me feel like sh*t, as if they thought I was fishing for compliments and need to tell me how much better (or pretty, or smart, or whatever) I am than themself. I have no wish to make anyone feel that way and it hurts that they assume I would take pleasure in that.

Shes's independant and responsible, and that makes me feel like our time together, when we choose to help each other or accompany each other, isn't motivated by need, that any other woman could fill, but by just a joyful appreciation of the individual I am. We both know we could and often do, do things alone. This is a choice, not an obligation.

Some people find her level of self discipline, focus on responsibility, and straight-forwardness a bit too serious and intimidating. It seems strange to me, because I know she is capable of huge belly laughs, and never ever expects anyone else to conform to her own standards for herself. But I guess you have to be one to know one!

What do you especially love in your friends? What are the qualities that you appreciate the most?

I find it interesting how different we can be on those points...

Your lucky .. that is a true friend rare to find in todays world ..

Outlived friends .. anymore just have aquaintances around the world ..

My friends, (yes, I'm lucky enough to have several), made me realise that the concept of love is not compartementalised like society teaches us. Love is love, friendship is just a way of saying that it's a platonic form of love.

What I like best about them ? The fact that when I'm with them, I feel like I'm exactly where I belong.

Mine turned on me. I told them some really sensitive things and they acted like it was okay and I felt relieved like I had a truly decent friend. Then they lied to me and left me hanging without any apology. It's been weeks. The only thing I see was that they either felt they needed to get away to spare their feelings for me which I did not reciprocate, or they couldn't handle issues I shared with them. I think it's the former.

I guess they weren't much of a best friend after all. It makes me sad. Good people are hard to come by and if you have someone who has your back through it all, embrace it.

originally posted by: rbkruspe
Mine turned on me. I told them some really sensitive things and they acted like it was okay and I felt relieved like I had a truly decent friend. Then they lied to me and left me hanging without any apology. It's been weeks. The only thing I see was that they either felt they needed to get away to spare their feelings for me which I did not reciprocate, or they couldn't handle issues I shared with them. I think it's the former.

I guess they weren't much of a best friend after all. It makes me sad. Good people are hard to come by and if you have someone who has your back through it all, embrace it.

I'm sorry to hear that!
I often have the problem of people depending upon me to be a receptive ear when they are having problems, and then avoiding me afterwards, because I remind them of a bad time, or they imagine I am judging them or something.
That hurts too.
It is actually rare to find a friend you can really count on through thick and thin. That is why I try to take time to just appreciate them when it happens.

Hoping you find more supportive friends! -Or that they show up again and you find out they were just busy with other things or something....