I don't want to end up being like my Dad..

originally posted by: TDawgRex

originally posted by: OpenEars123

originally posted by: TDawgRex
a reply to: OpenEars123

If you are young I would advise to shut off all doubts NOW!

You are not here to please family members, friends or ATS members. Hell, you're not even here to please yourself! (OK, that sounded all sorts of wrong)

Do not measure yourself by other peoples standards. Measure yourself by your own.

Ok thanks, but I'm still worried I'll end up having my dads' bad traits, even if i did take your advice.
That's what I'm worried about, it's already happening :-/

Well from one to another, I did inherent some of my Dads bad traits. I have his temper. And even though I do everything to hold it at bay, sometimes it doesn't work.

The trick though is to learn from it and move on.

Thank you, this is something I will have to continue working hard at.

originally posted by: OrphanApology
a reply to: OpenEars123

The fact that you want to improve on your dad's faults means he did a good job as a dad.

With that being said, one of the things you can do if you find yourself being negative about something and becoming obsessive is to create a new memory of whatever it is that is bothering you.

One way you can do that is by writing whatever it is into a story(doesn't have to be read by anyone but you) and about how that object/situation is now positive and write it as being positive.

So say for instance that you get really annoyed about traffic and bad drivers and that negativity stays with you for far too long...write a story where you take the situation and make it more positive and think of that story every time you feel that negative situation taking over. Now you see a bad driver and you think of how you probably just saved their lives by keeping your cool. Maybe make a story about a safe driving, cool headed superhero, who by fate was decided to drive around bad drivers destined to die that day.

Just an idea. Probably sounds ridiculous but it works better than you'd think.

Doesn't sound ridiculous at all. In fact I really like this idea and might just give that a whirl! Many thanks! 😊