There's So Much You Have To Know

By the time you read this, I will be an old man. No doubt, more experienced and wiser beyond my current years. Void the impetuousness and eagerness of youthful exuberance, I will be mellow and content. The thrill of the hunt will be a foreign feeling, but my thirst for knowledge will not have dissipated completely.

But this is not about me, it's about you and your future. For you see, the problems and issues you struggle with now are the same ones I did back then. And the ones you struggle with now are the ones your own son will struggle with one day. As they say, "the cycle continues"...

Yet it is not about breaking the cycle, but rather learning to deal with the process. We spend so much time reminiscing about the past and planning for the future that we lose sight of what's really important. And what's important is this: we live, we learn; we think, we learn; we try, we learn. Life is one complex, harsh and multifaceted lesson of which we strive to learn from.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

Did you write this for your own son?

It was an interesting piece, but the part about struggles, constantly learning and breaking the cycle of the same old struggles has me confused. If you learn from your mistakes that caused those struggles and you pass that knowledge down to your children, they won't have the same struggles. That cycle will have been broken. They won't have to learn those lessons themselves and they can focus on improving other aspects of their life. Why else learn things if you don't pass that information to them so they can have a better life than you did? Isn't that the nuts and bolts of being a parent?

To me, that is dealing with the process. Learning for the sake of growing and, in that process, leading your children by example. I don't want them thinking that learning is good just for the sake of it. I want there to be a reason behind it, and that reason being.......passing down what you learned so the next generation can have it better. Not easier, better. This is why the written word is just as important as action. Action takes care of the here and now. The written word preserves what was done so the coming generations can learn from those real world experiences that those who came before them, performed.

I like your premise though, it's something that needs to be discussed a lot more within families these days.

a reply to: Taupin Desciple

Thanks for the encouraging words.

I currently do not have any children, but that might change one day.

Like many of my threads, the title and theme of the thread derive from music. This thread was inspired by a certain song.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

I disagree...
I think there's nothing you should know before getting into a relationship...

I think each and every relationship is different, as are the people in them.
You can't plan for that, you just take it day by day, good and bad, roll with the punches and enjoy your time together.

Personally I think those relationship books and talk show folks are full of crap when they say things should be this way or that--- in your relationships....CoughcaughBullcaugh#caugh...

What they end up doing is setting up unrealistic expectations...Lord only knows I'm not perfect and my wife, bless her heart, takes me as I am, flaws and all... That's one of the reasons I love her... that and she has a great rack ;-)

I say lighten up, take it a day at time ...and learn to enjoy the ride baby!

a reply to: HardCorps

Did you read the OP or just the title of the thread?

a reply to: Dark Ghost

I read the whole thing...

You lost me with that "breaking the cycle" part too...
but I am responding to your title...

and to that end I say...
I don't want to know what's coming next... I want to revel in the surprises and unexpected joys
the wife and I just celebrated eleven years together and let me just say, each and every day has been a wonderful adventure...

okay maybe not so much when I found the wife's new puppy left bomb in the middle of the kitchen floor... that I could have done without...

a reply to: HardCorps

You are free to interpret the opening post as you wish and I am not saying you are wrong, but just to be clear: the relationship theme of the post is that between a parent and their child.

For those confused by the "breaking the cycle part", the message I intended to convey is this: wisdom and advice are very valuable, but people are likely to dismiss the advice and rather follow their instinct/desire instead. In essence, they will need to "walk the path" themselves to truly appreciate and learn from the experience.

It's a nice piece.

But, since you don't have a child, and you're not a time traveler, this a work of fiction.

So it would probably get a better hearing if it were posted to one of the writing subforums.

a reply to: Moresby

You may be right.

Still, music has the power to connect with us on an intellectual, emotional and metaphysical level, and can inspire us to express ourselves in a way that relates to at least some people's real life experiences.

originally posted by: Dark Ghost
a reply to: Taupin Desciple

Like many of my threads, the title and theme of the thread derive from music. This thread was inspired by a certain song.

I came here to ask if you were quoting Cat Stevens.

a reply to: incoserv

Yes, that is the song.

Well done on working it out.

originally posted by: Dark Ghost
a reply to: Moresby

You may be right.

Still, music has the power to connect with us on an intellectual, emotional and metaphysical level, and can inspire us to express ourselves in a way that relates to at least some people's real life experiences.

But this isn't in the music subforum either. It's in the "relationship" one.





r

a reply to: Moresby

The theme of the thread is to to with relationships and it doesn't seem like too many people have yet complained for it to be removed from this section.

If it bothers you so much then either complain or send in an application to become a moderator so you can one day move it...

Otherwise you are free to contribute something of substance to the thread.

a reply to: Taupin Desciple

Hey Taupin Desciple...

What you say about passing lessons on to ones children is a wonderful thought in theory, but in practice it falls apart. The reason for this, is that without making their own mistakes, even carbon copies of ones that a parent has made, a child does not learn anything worth knowing.

All the most important learning a child does, or a human does, for that matter, is based on trial and error. If all there is, is a trial, then no conclusion can be drawn which has value. There must be error in order to give meaning to the trial, and only by collating the results of successive experimentation can anything be learned in a way which sticks.

This is how kids learn to walk, and learn to talk like their parents. Yes, children learn to speak and walk by watching the example of their parents, but they learn to do it for themselves by experimentation. Babies and children are basically little scientists, probing and learning about the limits of their physical and intellectual existence. Later, when the child reaches puberty, they begin learning more about the complexities of emotional life in a more serious fashion, and even here the trial and error process of learning is still in evidence.

It is a process which never ends, to be sure, but to say that trying to teach a child not to make the same errors as its parent is a sensible way forward is not supported by evidence. All evidence suggests that in all but the most extreme cases, it is the freedom to err on occasion, and learn from that error, which most thoroughly informs a young person of their limitations, and that is a lesson which cannot be replaced by a stern talking to now and again.

Nothing hits home like empiricism.