Parents Arrested Over Obese 11-Year-Old Son

a reply to: grainofsand

You are mistaking a charge of failing to provide the necessities of life (not feeding a kid), with the implication that these parents are over feeding the kid or allowing him too much junk food.

A parent cannot feel a child's hunger and must rely on the child indicating to them that they are hungry.There isn't one set amount of calories that will satisfy every child's appetite.

I am sorry but I would suggest to a child that they "eat an apple" if they are still hungry but I would never date to decide that I know when another human being is still hungry, even after they have eaten dinner.

Children are developing. Their growth is unpredictable. They see-saw from not eating enough to keep a bird alive to emptying out your fridge so fast you have to go to the grocery store twice as much as before.

I don't necessarily believe that these parents gave their kid the best food but you are talking as though they should put him on a restrictive diet. We are talking about a developing child here.

What is the advice of experts in this matter?

my.clevelandclinic.org...

Try not to use food to punish or reward your child. Withholding food as a punishment may lead children to worry that they will not get enough food. For example, sending children to bed without any dinner may cause them to worry that they will go hungry. As a result, children may try to eat whenever they get a chance. Similarly, when foods, such as sweets, are used as a reward, children may assume that these foods are better or more valuable than other foods. For example, telling children that they will get dessert if they eat all of their vegetables sends the wrong message about vegetables.

It would be wildly abusive and cruel for the parents of this boy to put him on a restrictive diet. The only thing that can be done is to encourage physical activity.

Now in this case, since the parents were arrested but NOT charged, there is absolutely no evidence that these parents have done anything wrong.

Given the opinion of leading experts on how to deal with overwieght children, the actions of the CPS are wildly erratic in this case.

Tired of Control Freaks

originally posted by: Divin3F3nrus
a reply to: Euphem

I used to work out 7 hours a day

Holy crap! If that's what it takes then I'm beyond hope. I can barely get through a 90 minute - 2 hour daily before I'm wiped...not to mention I would rarely have 7 hours to devote to keeping a high heart rate.

I am in the camp where I am convinced genetics play a larger role than (fit) people like to admit...not to mention other vague factors such as medications, thyroid imbalances etc. I was recently on a thyroid regimen and lost 10 lbs. in a month by doing nothing different--in fact, my activity level even dropped. I have also been on steroid therapies where I gained weight like a rhino!

That leads me to believe it's all a question of metabolism (as opposed to simple caloric intake equations; ) and everyone has a unique metabolism, a unique equation to offset weight gain. Some people metabolize energy very well and burn it off naturally and still have less-than-ideal diets (think the scrawny, skinny kid in the basement eating pizza bagels and playing D&D all day,) and some have a much more difficult time struggling every step of the way (think the chubby person doing laps at the track and counting calories at every meal.)

Genetically, people store fat in different ways, and in different areas. I've been paying close attention to peoples' body types and shapes and noticed there is no ideal model. Some people have small bodies and chubby faces, while others have chubby bodies and thin, lean faces. Some are apple-shaped, some are pear shaped, some are balloon shaped. The distribution of fat can make it much harder to peg if someone looks obese or not. I have a rounder face than I would like, though some parts of my body are leaner. On the other hand, I see people who appear more obese than I, but have lean faces and defined jaw lines.

Everyone is different! Imagine that!

How dare anyone vilify another for struggling to beat their own metabolism when it is unique to that individual. I'm not even talking about eating ice cream in front of the TV all day. Some people work very hard at weight loss and the results are frustratingly slow.

On-topic: Arresting the parents was totally excessive. Another type of intervention would have been acceptable, but arrest goes way too far. Show me where the parents were directly, intentionally, willingly hurting their child.

What of it?

If this kid wants to be fat, then so be it, who are any of you, or the Gov, to decide that?

Half of you guys scream Gov control, the other half screams alien control, yet when a thread pops up about a fat kid an the majority of you all scream abuse, who the hell are you guys?

I see you abuse here, but a kid who loves food.
I love food, Brisket, Ribs, Burgers and pizzas....I go on weekend binges!!

I am military so I have to maintain a strict weight standard, but that doesn't suppress my fatboy side and if I coukd, Ill take this kid to Golden Corral and load up on the all you can eat buffet line.

God forbid I'm a monster for getting this kid more food.

a reply to: TiredofControlFreaks
A medical doctor was concerned enough to make a referral so that poor kid must have been huge.
If you think that is good parenting I'm just glad I didn't grow up in your home.
I'll leave you to this thread, and all the other fat apologists who think feeding too much food to your kids is ok.

a reply to: grainofsand

And I will leave you spending the rest of your life in obedience to your betters.

What I wish for you is that you never, ever learn how to think independently and face yourself in the mirror.

Tired of Control Freaks

originally posted by: TiredofControlFreaks
a reply to: grainofsand

And I will leave you spending the rest of your life in obedience to your betters.

What I wish for you is that you never, ever learn how to think independently and face yourself in the mirror.

Tired of Control Freaks

Haha, nice friendly chap aren't you

Loving the silly added value you seem so constantly desperate to attach to my posts.
I think feeding a child to obesity which raises concerns with a medical doctor is not a good thing for parents to do. You appear to disagree. I shall let others make their own minds up about which is the preferred choice.

...do you not see any situation of parental overfeeding and obesity where it is acceptable for society to step in with child welfare concerns? Is the doctor just a shill, or part of a wider conspiracy now? [/yawn]

Sorry but I'm with grainofsand on this one, we need these kind of social protections so that a kid has a decent chance at life and one not wrought with health issues. It was a doctors call who is educated enough to make an assessment like this.

originally posted by: NarcolepticBuddha
Show me where the parents were directly, intentionally, willingly hurting their child.

The police investigated the 'directly, intentionally, willingly' side of the medical doctors concerns. They released the parents with an unblemished record, not even a formal caution. They did their job, acting on the concerns of a medical doctor, then releasing the parents when 'directly, intentionally, willingly' was not established.
Why are you bleating about that? Nobody was beaten up or shot.

a reply to: grainofsand

Hey - you cannot twist my words like that!!!!

It was VERY clearly pointed out to you that there is a difference between intervening in the child's best interest - and falsely arresting the parents and threatening to take the kid out of the home!!!!

Obesity is a medical condition that requires a medical intervention. NOT A CRIME!

There is another very big difference between offering assistance (ie: They give nutrition advice to diabetic kids - why not to obese ones?) can we pay for a Big Brother to sponsor this kid at the local pool, spend time with him and teach him the joy of physical activity) and bullying the family by bringing the parents down to the police station to arrest them for something that isn't a crime.

There is also a very big difference between a "potential risk to future health" and beating a kid/denying him the necessities of life/neglecting him etc.

As I pointed out, if these parents were doing anything wrong, they would have been arrested, not just bullied.

Tired of Control Freaks

a reply to: mclarenmp4

We need the police to investigate a medical issue??????

Tired of Control Freaks

a reply to: TiredofControlFreaks

If there was signs of abuse yes, that is exactly what happens. You are jumping to a lot of conclusions based on the little facts that have been presented in this thread. Lets wait until more information comes out because we have no clue the exact circumstances of the case.

As I pointed out, if these parents were doing anything wrong, they would have been arrested, not just bullied.

They were arrested...then released with an unblemished record, without even a formal caution, why are you bleating about bullying now?.
The police did their job when they acted on the concerns of a medical doctor, investigated, and found no evidence of any crime, then released the parents.
Why are you bleating about that?
Should the police not act on the concerns referred by medical doctors regarding kids now? Is that what you are promoting as the way forward in society?

a reply to: grainofsand

They were arrested!!!! You may see that as harmless. I most certainly do not

Tired of Control Freaks

I posted this then removed it for several reasons. After some thought -

For those who wanted to argue about exercise and eating all I can say is if you have never been heavy, what you say is easier said than done. There are people who use eating as a means of escape from other problems in their life. I used to weigh close to 300 pounds in high school and I can tell you a day did not go by that I was ridiculed, made fun of, which compounded my efforts to try and lose weight. The comments get so bad that you isolate yourself from anyone who has the ability of speech so you don't have to hear another lecture, more comments, advice on this or that.

I was so depressed that I did nothing but eat to cope with the fact I was heavy / fat. To be honest had it not been for support from my family I don't think I would have made it to where I am today, which is to say alive.

You want to discuss obesity that's fine. You want to speculate about factors that affect a persons size that's fine. Unless you have been down this road you have absolutely no idea what it is like, the damage that can be done psychologically and how alone and isolated a person can feel, which only continues to compound on top of it.

When you are constantly bombarded with comments, being the but of jokes, having to deal with people who you thought were your friends only to find out you were their comic relief... Exercise does not matter. In order to exercise a person engages in it for their own gain. When no one wants to be friends, or will only talk to you when no one else is around, what exactly is there to be healthy about? Why exercise when the constant consensus is you're worthless and no one likes you anyways?


Respectfully - you don't know the family or the person involved. You have no idea about the family dynamics and you sure as hell don't know about the possible psychological factors involved.

Speculation is fine when done appropriately.

Some of you need to get off your damn high horse and stop acting like you are better than this person / parents in the article.


ETA -
In addition this child now must deal with the fact his weight resulted in the arrest of his parents.

I wonder what that does to an 11 year old with weight issues?

a reply to: Xcathdra

Bravo Xcathdra - how brave of you to use yourself as an example of how this child and his family might be feeling. Every thread on ATS that mentions the word obesity or fat ends exactly the same way. People jump out of their skins to explain to the world how superior they are because they are normal weight.

"I just work out 7 days a week and eat nothing but organic lettuce I grow in my back yard" is the normal response and no one even stops to think how the fat person might feel.

The CPS has done immeasurable harm to this family. They have basically told the kid that it is his fault that his parents might go to jail because he is fat! Because he is fat, he doesn't deserve to be at home with family! He must be punished until he loses sufficient weight.

By God what they are doing to this child is inhumane and criminal!
As if a child being fat is a crime!

This child is only 11 years old and he is already 5 ft 1 in. This is a kid who is going to be a big boy. If he can avoid gaining more weight, the chances are very good that he will simply grow into the weight he is now. A wieght of 210 lbs is not bad for a 6 ft man.

If the government truly cared about this child, they would offer a big brother type arrangement. A role model to show the kid how to incorporate exercise into his daily life. NOT arrest his parents!

Tired of Control Freaks

a reply to: Lady_Tuatha

It's hard to know in this case, without a lot of details on exactly what the parents have done about his weight, and how he's fed, etc.

I do know I have seen a case of parents being the cause of a child being overweight. Some years back (over 20), my oldest was in a Brownie troop. The daughter of the troop leader had a birthday party, invited all the girls in the troop. Those were the only child guests, save maybe a relative or two. This girl was overweight. Not huge, but definitely not healthy. Her waistline was probably a good 50% bigger around than it should have been. At the party, the usual stuff went on. Gifts opened, cake served, a pinata, I think. After all this, the kids were outside in the backyard, and the adults were inside chatting. The girl came in for something or other, and her mother asked if she wanted more cake. The girl said, "No.", but the mother insisted she take another slice anyway, and made her eat it right there. The poor kid looked like she wanted to cry. In that case, I had to resist the urge to smack the woman. The way it happened, it was clearly a regular thing. In that case, the mom at least was making her daughter overweight.

If this is a case like that, an arrest wouldn't be out of line.

a reply to: TiredofControlFreaks
And you completely ignored my question so I shall politely ask again...

Should the police not act on the concerns referred by medical doctors regarding kids now? Is that what you are promoting as the way forward in society?

a reply to: grainofsand

Is being fat a crime?

Now if the doctor is reporting that the parents tied the kid to a chair and forced food into his stomach with a funnel, then please do call the police because the crime of assault has been committed.

If the doctor called the police because he felt insulted because the parents did not MAKE the kid lose weight, well, are you now suggesting that doctors have a police force on hand to enforce their prescriptions? Shall we arrest people for failing to follow a doctor's order.

Tired of Control Freaks

a reply to: LadyGreenEyes

Then maybe we should be arresting all mother's who press food on their children? Jewish mother's first! "Eat my darling, I made chicken just for you"

Tired of Control Freakjs

a reply to: TiredofControlFreaks
Failing to have regard for the welfare of your child is a matter of concern for society.
If the doctor was genuinely concerned about the health of the boy then he/she made the right call to make a referral.
A dangerously obese child is as a result of the parent/guardian failing to regulate energy intake and activity.

# me, the lad was 15 stone and 5'1", that's #ing huge and you know it, are you really saying the parents should not be challenged about their crap choices? A doctor was concerned about the childs health, are you saying 15 stone at 5'1" is not unhealthy and dangerous to a childs health now? Really?