Significant Other Question

I had promised to make dinner tonight and when I went into kitchen and was looking for pan my girlfriend came in, found it then decided to take over the dinner making process.

Seriously though.

It was an awesome moment because I like her cooking but does anyone else have a significant other that has trouble monopolizing certain house duties.

Whether it be getting the oil changed or cooking dinner?

Just curious as to everyone's experience there.

a reply to: OrphanApology

Have you considered sitting down and deciding who generally does what. Allows each of you to play to your strengths. Also allows for a happier household.

P

a reply to: pheonix358

We do and she normally cooks but when I do cook she still winds up cooking.

I was just wondering if anyone has a significant other that lays claim on particular chores for the most part and doesn't like when someone else does it.

I used to do that. A LOT. Shortly after getting married, my husband was trying to clean the oven, and I decided to show him how easy it could be. I walked over and lifted the door off, knowing most people aren't aware that stoves are designed that way.
Instead of saying thank you, he looked and me and said "You're a real control freak, aren't you?" I had never been aware of it before that day.
She may not be aware that she's 'taking over' too often. I wasn't.
Or, maybe she doesn't want you in 'her' kitchen! I let my husband cook, but only on the BBQ! (He's TOO messy in the kitchen...)

a reply to: nugget1

She doesn't mess with me when I BBQ!

Maybe it's the same and she doesn't want me messing up the kitchen.

Sometimes I feel bad though because like tonight she was really tired and that's why I said I'd cook. Maybe next time I will sneakily put her favorite show on right before I attempt to start cooking.

This time it was pan, last time she started cutting the vegetables when I turned my back lol. I don't think she realizes what she is doing.

a reply to: OrphanApology
Or, you could just ask her if it bothers her when you take over the cooking.
She may just feel guilty, if she was raised to believe it's 'a woman's duty to cook for her man'.
My husband doesn't mind in the least if I forget to make his lunch; he just does it himself. I mind, tho; it makes me feel guilty- like I'm neglecting him.

a reply to: nugget1

No we're a gay couple.

Should have specified.

Either way I'll try talking to her about staying out. Thanks for advice.

originally posted by: OrphanApology
a reply to: nugget1

No we're a gay couple.

Should have specified.

Either way I'll try talking to her about staying out. Thanks for advice.

I don't think gender is what makes one territorial. When people live together, they always seem to stake a claim to certain areas, like a favorite chair, a certain side of the bed, a corner of the closet.... Even animals do it!

My wife doesn't like me washing her clothes....that is self explanatory.

I won't let my wife paint at all when it is time to paint in the house. She gets paint all over everything. I won't even let her paint the closet. She painted an apartment she had and painted all the old woodwork that was in it. You can't do that to beautiful 100 year old excellent shape trim. Well, after we moved out, the landlord wouldn't have problems removing the paint, it wasn't prepared at all, it could be just pulled right off from all the linseed oil that was on the wood over the years. No use arguing with her, she is always right about what she did. So I don't let her touch a brush.

Now, My wife makes great lazagna and quite a few other excellent dishes, but I also make some great foods. We each cook what we make best. Her BBQing sucks. so I do all of that. The stuff she BBQ's is so dry it is like Jerky...She likes it way overcooked. So I BBQ hers the way she likes it, void of some of the neuromodulators it should have...

We share doing dishes, but I don't like them dirty on the counter so I do them twice as much as her. We gave up on the dishwasher, it seemed like it was more work than just washing the dishes by hand...at twice the cost.

I take care of the vehicles and most of the house maintenance. She gave up trying to get me to do all sort of projects, I would make her everything then she just put it aside and never used it so I quit building things. Waste of money.

Actually we get along well, I know better than to say anything about anything to her, I'm just venting here.

I hate cooking but if my partner cooks a chicken/turkey we both go full on possessive over the carcass to make soup. Don't know why but I love making soup and will make it behind his back when he was hoping to as well. Kind of weird actually.

originally posted by: OrphanApology
a reply to: nugget1

No we're a gay couple.

Should have specified.

Whatevas!! To each their own.

Either way I'll try talking to her about staying out. Thanks for advice.

My wife wants me in the kitchen ... but just to keep her company.

We pretty much adopted traditional roles. She manages the majority of what goes on in the house ... less the really heavy or nasty stuff. When she's tired, I'll even ask her permission before running the vacuum cleaner, just to make sure I'm not upsetting the apple cart.

When my wife convinced me to go into business for myself. I decided to take over all the house cleaning chores, inside & outside. I have allways been the type to "I'd rather do it myself than have to show you how to do it". She put up a fuss all of 2.5 seconds!!! That was 8 years ago. If I'm in town I normally cook at least 3 times during the week, the weekend we do that chore together. My wife is a Comptroller ( I guess I spelled that right). She handles the money for a large employment placement company. She can tell you what we spent on just meat last year, or how much we have spent on dishliquid this year...I'll let her do all that math. The woman can spend money so precise it's scary. I on the other hand LOVE IT. Sharing everyday chores is the norm, I mean you two are sharing your lives with each other.

Some women have a chore in their lives that they just feel that they can't leave to anybody else.

I actually never used a dishwasher till well in my 20s. My stepmother would not allow anybody to touch her precious dishwasher.

If we tried to be nice and do the dishes for her, she would go and re arrange everything anyways.