Facing My Own Mortality

As I'm preparing to visit Mom's & Dad's graves over the weekend, my mind has been wandering back through the years. Memories of picnics, family reunions, playing on the beach, and on and on. Where did my childhood go? And how did it get away so quickly?!

In the middle of loading my car, it hit me. I am the matriarch of the family now. My husband and I are the oldest generation still living. The next funerals will most likely be ours. Someday soon, our family will be visiting our grave sites; reliving memories and leaving tokens of love.

I won't deny the thought scared me more than just a little. It scared me, not because I'm afraid of dying, but because I'm afraid of not dying well.

I've wondered if I have made a difference in the world; or at least my little piece of it. I've tried to reach out and be a blessing to all I meet. I've tried to "pass on" the kindness shown to me by a stranger long ago. Whether I've succeeded or not will have to be told by others. I hope they, too, "pass it on" and relate why they are doing what they do. In that way, I will live on.

Its been one hell of a year. Thank you for listening.

Blessings,
Jas

I'm sure you have made a difference in people's lives. Age has nothing to do with dying. Children die just as easily as the elderly. When our time comes, it comes. The best that we can do is to live a life of love and compassion and be the best person that we possibly can be. The rest will fall into place.

a reply to: Night Star

And that I have done

I don't normally dwell upon these things, but for some reason, it has been heavy on my mind the past couple of days.

As for the children, I've buried a son, a niece, and two grandsons...all babies. Death comes to us all.

Thank you for reading, Night Star. I appreciate your time and kind words.

J

I cant describe it but I am in exactly the same situation and the pain is tremense please please please don't becoe sad, I am sad enough for both of us I am going to a funeral tomorrow. You ARE a MATRIARCH be a stronger leader and you never have to believe because you can now KNOW you are important. I feel for you and believe.

a reply to: LadyJae

Believe me...you have made a difference. If only in telling us your story here...so we may reflect on our own. Thank you. And dont worry. You did good here. Blessings MS

a reply to: Brotherman

It isn't that I want to feel important. I want to know I've made a difference; that when I leave, I've left this world a better place in some small way.

Be strong tomorrow and know my thoughts will be with you, Brotherman.


J

a reply to: [post=17952530]LadyJae[/post

I will live on through my children. My greatest achievement. My greatest source of sublime accomplishment.
I am a success!

I and my wife, their mother, have left our legacy to this world in the form of 2 happy smart and loving young adults.

Anything else is secondary and therefor unimportant to me.

No shrines, works of art, or mention in historical documents, material gains would give me the everlasting peace of mind to go forth and face the finality of death as much as my love and joy of of the accomplishment of my greatest task.
Being asuccessful father, mentor and role model to my Daughter and Son.

I am at peace at 54 years of age.

a reply to: LadyJae

my thoughts are for you right now, dont worry about this old coot =D Im a tough sob

a reply to: mysterioustranger

Ah! Thank you, stranger, that is very kind of you; I appreciate your compliment.

I think it good, sometimes, to ponder upon what our legacy will be. I just didn't expect my "pondering" to hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks.

J

I am sure you have made a difference. ONE act of kindness can change a entire life, and if you have actively tried to "pay it forward" then you most likely altered a life.

Then, on the matter of mortality, i believe in "life" after death. If you do not, I have no problem with that but it has helped me deal with mortality.

Be it reincarnation, a heaven, purgatory, underworld, or my own opinion ( becoming your soul in its purest form, going to another dimension, a mixture of the time and consciousness dimensions, and knowing all things past present and future that will, have, and are occurring simultaneously in your life/lives.), or your own opinion.

Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you get to feeling better, when you go you go, and likely you will be back!

Good luck, LJ

Sincerely,
Luke

a reply to: grubblesnert

Bravo, grubblesnert! The greatest treasures that one possesses can't be found in material things.

I, too, have given the world three wonderful adults. They, in turn, have given me great joy in the form of grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Family gatherings are the crux of my life


J

I have not made much of a difference in the lives of my kids. They believe in the conditioning of society more than in what I try to tell them. I suppose it was no different than when I was told about these things by some of my relatives, I thought they were just getting old and they could not keep up with change. I now can clearly see many years of history that I have experienced and am trying to inform my kids. They are stuck on societies tendency to take everything you have worked for. It would only take a few generations and my offspring could be wealthy, but they keep spending money on things they really don't need as soon as they get it. This keeps us working ourselves into the grave. This keeps us stressed out which reduced our lifespan.

The more you spend, the more you have to work. Spending the money is often harder than the work you do to earn it. Now I wonder why I even bothered to try to teach others. They listen to others who have put themselves into debt, others that want everyone in the same situation they are in. Who steers this. It seems to be perpetual deceit and when we get into our mid twenties we are totally conditioned to mimic this like a parrot.

Boy, I'm kind of cranky in this post. Now I understand why people give a lot of their stuff away before they die, to people who will use and appreciate what they had.

a reply to: Luuke123

Thank you for your encouragement, Luuke!

Yes, I firmly believe in an afterlife. I have no fear of death, my friend. I have lived a full life, and I'm at peace with what will come eventually.

How can I not feel better when good people, like yourself, take the time to give a kind word of encouragement to a stranger?

Thank you

J

a reply to: LadyJae

If you have touched one person deeply, or helped one person to see their path more clearly in life, if you made one person smile, then you have lived well enough.

Dying well is the main ingredient required when the time comes. It is your choice to face it with honour, being fully aware in the moments of it's happening, then you will die well too.

I think what scares those who are not afraid of death is the not being around for their loved ones in their time of need. This too is normal and expected. There is little you can do about how others will react.

My old friend Tayesin ( an old member here) knew he was going to die and made it a bit of fun for himself as the time drew nearer. He joked a little, talked seriously only when he had to and then started singing a line from The Rocky Horror Show just before his life-force left the body. A good death is what he had.

originally posted by: LadyJae
a reply to: grubblesnert

Bravo, grubblesnert! The greatest treasures that one possesses can't be found in material things.

I, too, have given the world three wonderful adults. They, in turn, have given me great joy in the form of grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Family gatherings are the crux of my life

J

There you go! I reread you OP and subsequent responses and can tell you are a loving and caring person.

Your interaction with both family and even strangers in this world has left an impression. We all go through this life either contributing (positive) or taking away (negative).

I dont see as a taker!

a reply to: rickymouse

You don't sound cranky, rickymouse, just introspective.

Give them time. Let them mature.

My own children asked me why they couldn't make their own mistakes...so I let them. Now they will tell you that they wished they had listened more and rebelled less..LOL But those mistakes matured them and made them more understanding of what others go through. They've made good people, and I'm very proud of them.

I don't envy the young people in today's world. Its a very harsh, very dangerous place for them.

J

a reply to: LadyJae

Besides making a difference in your families life, you might be surprised to learn that there are many more lives that you have touched without even knowing. I am 56 and throughout these long years, I have encountered old friends and aquaintences and learned how much of a difference I had made in their lives and I never knew. I had no idea that something so simple as just being there for someone and listening or giving a different perspective could mean so much.

Sometimes it is the simplest things in life that matter most. You are doing just fine!

a reply to: rickymouse

Ah but Ricky, your kids will see one day that they should have taken your advice and listened. One day they will understand and be thankful.

a reply to: Oldie48

Tayesin is gone?!! How did I not know that! I'm sorry to know it now.

When it is my time to leave, I want to leave with dignity and honor. As I said, I'm not afraid of dying; just of not dying well.

Leaving my family is the only thing I'll regret. However, I've taught them what they need to know in order to fly. Their own wings should bear them well.

I will continue to "pay it forward" until I'm called Home

Thank you for taking time to comment, Oldie

J

originally posted by: Night Star
a reply to: LadyJae

I had no idea that something so simple as just being there for someone and listening or giving a different perspective could mean so much.

Sometimes it is the simplest things in life that matter most.

You have hit upon the reason I posted this thread.

You speak true, Night Star I'll even go so far as to say that most times the simplest things in life are what matters most.

J