Star Lust thread.

a reply to: Destinyone
a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

here is a "tongue in cheek" one for you guys...lol



AmIright?



...come on....bump it..

a reply to: snarky412

There are some pretty cool and funny warped in the right way Ladies in this thread. I have a funny story, don't know if it would be too much for ATS, and don't want to leave it in the OP's thread if it is.

Have you heard the bikini cold wax story? I wonder if I should post it, and let you or other Ladies tell me if it's too too, to leave up, then I could delete it.

Des

originally posted by: Destinyone
a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

I could easily be House Bound...yes, it does sound kinda kinky...

Des

It sounds kinda fantastic.

a reply to: tadaman

I bumped it. That was totally worth a bump.

originally posted by: Destinyone
a reply to: snarky412

There are some pretty cool and funny warped in the right way Ladies in this thread. I have a funny story, don't know if it would be too much for ATS, and don't want to leave it in the OP's thread if it is.

Have you heard the bikini cold wax story? I wonder if I should post it, and let you or other Ladies tell me if it's too too, to leave up, then I could delete it.

Des

Post it!!!
Don't wonder too long, I haven't heard it........................................yet. LOL

As I tell my husband all the time, 'Come on, be a sport'

a reply to: Destinyone

My god, I havent laughed so hard in a while....Just found it online.

damn. Just damn.

LOL

That woman is a champ.

a reply to: snarky412

You asked for it...let me know if I should strip it in a few minutes....

WAX is NOT your friend

CAUTION: Be prepared to laugh out loud... I laughed till I almost cried as I could just see this happening! (And I feel it too!)

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal- The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair, and now... the wax.

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.

It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.

No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out.

(Y A THINK!? )

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. (Cold wax, "yeah... right!")

I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull.

It works!

Ok, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad.

I can do this!

Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With me next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship.

I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching down to t he inside of my butt cheek.

(Yes, it was a long strip)
I inhale deeply and brace myself... RRRRIIIPPP!!

I'm blind!! Blinded from pain!. OH MY GOD!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!!

Another deep breathe and RRIIPP!

Everything is swirly and spotted.

I think I may pass out... must stay conscious...

Do I hear crashing drums??

Breathe, breathe...

OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy- a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it.

I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it.

Where is the hair?? WHERE IS THE WAX??

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet.

I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip.

I touch. I am touching wax.

CRAP!

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, wh ich I s now covered in cold wax and matted hair.

Then I make the next BIG mistake... remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet?

I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.

DANG!!

I hear the slamming of a cell door.

"hoo-hoo"? Sealed shut!

Butt? Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!"

What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water! Hot water melts wax!

I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??

WRONG!!

I get in the tub- the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment- I sit.

Now, the only th ing worse than having your nether regions glued together is having them glued together a n d then glued to the bottom of the tub.. in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!!

God bless the man who had convinced me a few moths ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter- "So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or who-ha?"

She's laughing out loud by now... I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YE AH!! RIGHT!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.

While we go through various sol ut ions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace... the lotion the give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point?

I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!

The scream probably woke the kids and scared the ens out of my friend.

It's sooo painful, but I really don't care.

"IT WORKS!! It works!!"

I get a hearty congratulations from my friend and she hangs up.

I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice t o my grief and despair... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE... ALL OF IT!!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts.

I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color... Now that's funny... Notttt.

originally posted by: snarky412

originally posted by: Destinyone
a reply to: snarky412

There are some pretty cool and funny warped in the right way Ladies in this thread. I have a funny story, don't know if it would be too much for ATS, and don't want to leave it in the OP's thread if it is.

Have you heard the bikini cold wax story? I wonder if I should post it, and let you or other Ladies tell me if it's too too, to leave up, then I could delete it.

Des

Post it!!!
Don't wonder too long, I haven't heard it........................................yet. LOL

As I tell my husband all the time, 'Come on, be a sport'

I'm with Snarky!! POST IT!

a reply to: Destinyone

Totally worth the thread. I woke my wife up to show her. She is still laughing.

Thank you for this.

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

I did right above your post...

Des

a reply to: Destinyone

OMG!!

^^^^^ Those are her faces when she was waxing. They were my faces when I was reading it!!

I believe I would have left my honey badger/wolverine pelt to heal for a while before I finished. Heck... I might have left it like that for all eternity to prevent that escapade from ever happening again!

Eek!

a reply to: Destinyone

You never hear about the seedier side of wax at Madame Toussads...

She needed Mr. Miagi to train her first...

Wax on... wax off... must breathe, in through nose, out through mouth...

If all else fails, there's always turtle wax.

originally posted by: Destinyone
a reply to: snarky412

You asked for it...let me know if I should strip it in a few minutes....

WAX is NOT your friend

CAUTION: Be prepared to laugh out loud... I laughed till I almost cried as I could just see this happening! (And I feel it too!)

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal- The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair, and now... the wax.

Oh honey, that's priceless!!!
LMAO....

Just for that, here you go, your very own star because after a traumatic experience like that, you deserve it


And might I suggest for the, ah, tender areas, stay with a razor.....LOL

BTW, it's safe and harmless....the story, that is!!!
The post shouldn't 'offend' anyone other than the sensitive ones. HA

a reply to: tadaman

Please....Please......Please..... just one little star.......just one...



Think Conspiracy My Friends.


Ok so this makes me a star whore....... sometimes I sound just like yoga....

a reply to: Destinyone

I wasn't going to post, but then I read your post.

This was my reaction:

a reply to: madmac5150

Lol. I couldn't resist...

I don't want a star, I want a stripe.

Are you able to do that?

a reply to: cuckooold

here is a striped star just for you. Will that suffice?

originally posted by: cuckooold
I don't want a star, I want a stripe.

Are you able to do that?

Bend over...

I got lots of stripes when I was growing up. They are over hyped.

a reply to: tadaman

Oh my God, that's beautiful (and so quick!)

A special star for you (and I wish I could give more!)

A star for cuteness?