Am I Being A Shallow Jerk? Afraid To Semi Commit?

You used the term 'semi commit".

Houston, we have a problem. LoL!

originally posted by: pheonix358
If you give up on her, if she is your soul mate, you will regret it for the rest of your life.

It is not often, once or twice in a lifetime that we meet someone and click so fast.

You are being foolish.

Why not simply ask her about it? Try to be nice, here is a hint. "You have an unusual chin?" DO NOT ADD, "It freaks me out."

She will tell you about it. Love ..... true love ..... is much deeper than mere skin.

Lastly, get naked, look in the mirror and say, "I am the perfect male specimen. They could have used me as a model for the statue of Apollo."

P

P

I already starred this, but I'll give it a strong endorsement. My husband and I were set up in college ... twice before it "took," and once it did, things went scary fast. We knew within six months that it was meant to be (actually sooner, but neither of us was brave enough to talk sooner than that).

But the symptoms you describe sound familiar, almost like old times if you know what I mean.

There's nothing wrong with slowing down a bit. We did it a time or two ourselves (six months gives you an idea of how successful that was, but well, you're older than we were in college I'll bet), and if she is "The One," you'll always wonder what you've been missing if you let her get away or worse, push her away.

a reply to: Domo1

You're gonna let a chin mess up something good in your life?

In the words of the great Dr House.

You're being an idiot.

~Tenth

You guys seem very quick to chastise this guy for not pulling the trigger but do you really think you can know someone that well that soon?

The foolish street runs both ways, let the 'one' get away or get bogged down in a relationship doomed to failure.

originally posted by: corvuscorrax
You guys seem very quick to chastise this guy for not pulling the trigger but do you really think you can know someone that well that soon?

The foolish street runs both ways, let the 'one' get away or get bogged down in a relationship doomed to failure.

I don't feel anyone has been overly harsh on him. When i met my husband we just clicked at every turn, it just sometimes happens like that. When it does all you have to do is let it. And sometimes it just seemed scary fast. Looking back on it we probably should have slowed things down some and allowed ourselves sometime. But considering were still together we did ok.

As for the chin thing, yes you are being a bit of a jerk. Don't dwell on it in a short period of time you won't notice it anyway.

How bad is the chin ?

Does she have more chins than a Chinese phone book.

Is it something that can be fixed.

Do you have a blindfold ?

a reply to: Domo1

So basically you're saying she is a slim girl with a double chin?

Yeah, that sounds weird.

Let her down gently, move on.

(You've been spending 4 hours a night with someone you only met 2 weeks ago...but you don't want to get intimate with her? Get a grip, dude)

Sure you're being a jerk but to yourself. As long as you're honest with her about not wanting anything serious you're not being a jerk to her.

originally posted by: whyamIhere
How bad is the chin ?

Does she have more chins than a Chinese phone book.

Is it something that can be fixed.

Do you have a blindfold ?

LoL! Look here Costanza, this is real life not a Seinfeld episode.

a reply to: Destinyone

One. It has you feeling uncomfortable enough to ask for advice on ATS. If you were on the same page as her, you wouldn't be asking why you have qualms about her. It's obvious to me, it's really bothering you, because I've always viewed you as a somewhat private person.

Agreed. It is rather out of character for me to discuss something like this but it was rather cathartic writing the thread.

May I ask, is she recently out of another relationship?

Nope. I think last relationship was about 6 months ago and ended amicably just wasn't the right fit.

As far as her neck. You may be blowing something very minor out of proportion because you do feel rushed.

See I think this makes total sense but it's not really like me and normally I wouldn't nitpick something when I was already aware something else was bothering me...

a reply to: Domo1



My friend, I married my wife 4 weeks after meeting her, you either know or you don't. (23 years married in June)

Is it so terrible to have a good person totally into you?

Embrace life, embrace love, and have a wonderful time on this tiny rock with someone who loves you.

Just my 2 cents.

a reply to: beezzer

My friend, I married my wife 4 weeks after meeting her, you either know or you don't. (23 years married in June)

"It was as if millions of single women cried out at once" - Obi-Wan Kenobi

Is it so terrible to have a good person totally into you?

You're right, it's pretty freaking wonderful. I called her and told her I was a little gun shy. She didn't get angry or sad, just very understanding. We have another date this Friday, and she's bringing lunch so we can either go on a picnic or build a fort inside if the weather is bad. I think I'm done. Build a fort, nom on food and watch Game Of Thrones.

I once met a guy who clicked with me that I met online. I saw his pictures, he saw mine, we both didn't have any complaints... until I saw his fingernails. He grew them out long... and when I say long I mean longer than an inch. He said it was for playing classical guitar but it was something I could never get over.
I keep my nails trim and short because the dirt they collect under them bothers me to no end. And this... I just couldn't handle. Because of this, I found myself distancing myself from him romantically.

I'm a terrible person, I know. But I know what I can and can't handle. And this was one of those where I couldn't.

Anyways, just wanted to let OP know I get where he's coming from. Sorry I don't have any real advice.

a reply to: Robohamster

Anyways, just wanted to let OP know I get where he's coming from. Sorry I don't have any real advice.

Don't worry about not having any advice. It's nice to know other people have certain things that are a huge turn off.

My advice would be to never ever let her anywhere near reading a thread on this sight that is 5 paragraphs long and boils down to this thought, 'I don't know if I want to commit, but man, that chicks chin is messed up.'
There's a small chance that she may not be pleased that something like that was written about her if she saw it.

a reply to: Domo1

Dude, GO FOR IT. I think the chin is overcome-able (yup, I'm making up words).

You may be hyper-focusing on her chin being ugly because you just want to find something, anything at all, to nit-pick at, because everything else about her is so wonderful. Do you think that could be it?

And I hope you never told her about ATS...You're gonna want to nicely ask a mod to 404 this...

How about a photo from say, the nose down, just so we can have a gander at this chin. Just crop a photo so it is just the chin. You see, I am curious!

P

originally posted by: Robohamster
I once met a guy who clicked with me that I met online. I saw his pictures, he saw mine, we both didn't have any complaints... until I saw his fingernails. He grew them out long... and when I say long I mean longer than an inch.
I'm a terrible person, I know. But I know what I can and can't handle. And this was one of those where I couldn't.

Yuk!! ... SO get what you mean ...

Similar problem to that of 'Kangaruex' and my problem of 'sausage' fingers!

a reply to: beezzer

Beez! We agree on something!

Yup, you just know. I knew in highschool my that my good friend - my hubby - was the one but we didn't date until many years later and then, six months after dating, we were married. We're 15 years this month.

a reply to: Domo1

The way you describe talking with her is how my husband and I were when we first met. It does seem like you and she would make a great couple.

You said you are worried about moving too fast, about the commitment. Is it possible the reaction to her "under-chin" is a reflection of that? Meaning, maybe you are "bothered" so much by that feature because your brain is looking for an excuse not to commit?

On the surface, it sounds "shallow", but I suspect the real reason is that commitment fear. Best suggestion, go out, and see where things go. Chances are, that feature will start being much less of an issue than you think it is now.