Conversation partners briefly turn into medium to send message?

reply to post by z00mster


You can continue to torture yourself and suffer or you can be assertive and more direct in this relationship which you do not seem inclined to do.

The question to be asked one way or another is, "Are you hiding something from me that I should know?"

On a more subtle level, it could be that she makes it very visible to others in an incredibly short time that she is using you for her own needs and that the messages you have heard are intended for YOU and not her. In direct terms, you are naive and she is a cannibal. I would rather not use those painful terms, but they seem to fit with what you have told us.

The only strange thing like that I had was while reading a book claimed to come from someone outside the planet/another layer in a chat. Someone chatting suddenly saying I'm the one who wrote the book. Turn on the radio.", but I didn't, because I was too skeptic that time and didn't think of the possibility a signal could be on there.

I was exploited by a girl for a half year, her friend warning me, but in my trust I understood it differently. She didn't say it in a direct way, because she's her friend, even acting towards me for her. Strangers often warned me seeing it from her actions which I couldn't see in trust. In the end I told her friend I'd sell my car, because she wants me to etc, so her friend stopped her as hoped. She tried exploiting me again claiming her confession to have exploited many before me was a misunderstanding, but I made a final condition that proved it again, as well the obvious coldness and making fun of me all the time and also looking for new victims in front of me.
Thats how I am, even in a chance of 0.5% I trust to the last moment.
She was always angry suspecting me of not trusting her, even tho I did. So don't fall for the same.
She was an Asian (partially Viet, Chinese) living in EU claiming to be a lesb as well.

If I would see her with someone, I would warn them. You can normally see from peoples karma if they're very potential to exploit you. But in love you're pretty blinded. Only the unwise cause harming actions while the wise grant techniques to appear better to others or make people around them help you if they see you helping with your heart.

Girl to girl - I don't know, thats pretty harming towards males. It might be a filter though - only girls being like males using the internet - I keep seeing lesbians over and over and don't know a single male-male relationship and wouldn't understand a reason to, unless to share a house and dating sites only seem to have males as well.
If there's no way being with male-female happily there's no help I suppose, tho it seems males openly accept nearly anyone after learning a little.

it's an interesting choice of words that you've used in your OP. you mentioned that your inner voice told you, maybe you're her "escape". your intuition is later confirmed by another persons intuition as well. the women who said "i know what you're doing, using her as a bridge". these words, escape, bridge, i would bet are not coincidental.

what also jumps out at me is the duration of time that you've known this person for. essentially, you've seen this person on only two separate occasions and have professed your love to her. it's hard to give people who are "in love" advice as they most often times will not take it. "because they just don't understand". i would trust your intuition. trust your gut. i don't want to put doubt into your head but, how well do you really know this person? how much do you really know about their past? it seems entirely possible that she is just an opportunist or a social climber who is taking advantage of your love. she saw you wearing your heart on your sleeve, picked up on it and is exploiting it. i know it's a terrible thing to consider but, you MUST consider all options and explore them.

consider why your professor friend couldn't read her but, is entirely capable of reading you. it seems as though your love is guarded. for what reason is unknown. but, be aware and heed the warning that she has a wall up and you don't know what's behind it. maybe try and have her open up with you about her past conflicts, relationships etc. if you are both in love she should be willing to share those things with you and be open. proper communication, full open communication is essential for any relationship to prosper and last.

when you are not together do you communicate on a daily basis? is she open with you or do you carry the bulk of the conversation? does she ask questions about you or are you always the one talking to her and initiating the communication?

you feel uneasy for a reason. don't ignore your intuition. we have it for a reason. because it can save us and give us warning.

Something to consider. Since this deals with different people from different countries…What language do all parties of this speak?
Was the language used their native tongue? If all were speaking the language of the country you were visiting, or a mixture there is a possibility of mistranslation.
If they all were speaking English…for example and English is not their 1st language it could be problem with translation. Just a thought.

She is only wondering because of what other people have said.
She said she had a great time, it was love at first sight BOTH WAYS, the only time doubt came in was when other people commented.

This girl has done nothing but made her feel happy, it is the other people that have the problem.

pavmas
She is only wondering because of what other people have said.
She said she had a great time, it was love at first sight BOTH WAYS, the only time doubt came in was when other people commented.

This girl has done nothing but made her feel happy, it is the other people that have the problem.

those are really just assumptions based on the OP. no one told her, they think she is capable of lying. that was something the OP came up with from her own intuition. SHE said she had a great time, SHE said it was love at first sight. we don't know what the other person said as the OP never mentioned it and we don't know if the OP's love actually shared the love at first sight feelings because that wasn't mentioned either.

and obviously THIS situation is making her feel nervous and not "nothing but feel happy". it's the other people who are picking up on something that the OP shares their concern. so it's not everyone elses problem. it's the OP's problem which in turn is her "loves" problem as well.

there's a difference between being head over heels in love and naive. we're just asking the OP to be careful and consider ALL options, not just the ones that make her feel all warm and fuzzy. she asked for our advice and we are giving it to her. advice with no rose tinted glasses filtering it.

reply to post by Aliensun


Believe me, I have talked to her about this kind of stuff.
As I mentioned in my OP, I told her that I thought she was difficult to 'grasp' or 'read'.
She replied to me saying that I'm not the first one to tell her that.
Another time she said that one doesn't have to say everything.
To that I replied that this is difficult for me to deal with because I have had a bad experience with an ex-lover who said the exact same thing and had a huge thing to hide.

So really I have been digging in that closets for the skeletons. And she was willing to tell me a lot.
I believe she loves me just as much as I do her and that she is can't help it to come across so 'unreadable'.
It probably is something that I need to get used to.

The reason why I posted this experience here, is because I think it was surreal.
It has me puzzled and would like to know if there are people out there who experienced similar things.
That's all.

reply to post by oneoneone


Hi,

I'm not sure if I understood what you said but thanks for sharing.
Maybe I will have to read a few times to 'get it'.

Cheers,

z00m

reply to post by CallmeRaskolnikov


Hi,

First of all, yes, I am all for talking and I have been an open book to her.
Maybe also in the hope that she would feel safe to open up to me too.
And she has pulled out a lot of skeletons for me.
She feels my insecurity and tries to help me by reassuring me.

The love at first sight feeling was mutual.
And, she even took a tattoo to remember me by.
What more affirmation could I need?

The problem is that I don't trust my intuition because I believe it has been corrupted by things that happened in the past.
So yes, I tend to ignore this inner voice of mine.
But now it seems as if others speak their inner voice out loud to me. And that is just surreal.

I know that we don't know each other that well. And I have to do with what is given to me in the moment.
This is perhaps why I told her that I decided some time ago that I will not be a victim of other peoples actions.
It's simply useless. I can't control other people. And what ever intentions they have, I see only what is there.
And I can accept that, or choose not to.
As long as I remain true to myself, and take good care of myself, how could anyone exploit me?

However, it keeps me busy.

reply to post by Speculation

The people who gave 'messages' were both American and were talking English all the time.
I am pretty comfortable with that, but for my love, English is a challenge.

Funny you say it though, now I remember her telling me that maybe her face is hard to read sometimes because she is concentrating on understanding what is said.

My native language is different from hers, so we speak English with each other.
And yes things do get lost in translation very often.
Especially online.

I hope this really is the logical explanation I am looking for.

reply to post by CallmeRaskolnikov


true
or
I second that

reply to post by z00mster


i completely understand when you say you're not sure if you can trust your intuition because of prior experiences you've had may have corrupted your intuition. that's a real possibility so it makes sense to ask other people out there what they think of a given situation. and it's an important step to verbally announce if even to yourself that you refuse to be victimized in anyway, shape or form by a significant other or partner regardless of how much you love them because that is one of our biggest issues as a species. we have a victimization mindset that directly effects our reality.

i have had similar experiences myself but, to be honest i have had MUCH weirder ones. i have had complete strangers speak with/to me and describe my past and present emotions/experiences to me. upon meeting them for the first time. without telling them a single word about myself or my significant other. and this has happened to me more than once from more than one person to the point where my ex thought that i was completely nuts because i allowed myself on multiple occasions to be engaged so personally by total strangers. even so far as to go to their house with them alone. but, it was always surprising to me, tantalizing and irresistible sometimes to listen to these people because they were truly unique.

makes me wonder sometimes if there has been a supernatural/paranormal element at play during some of the "conversations" because all of the aforementioned experiences i've had were just so bizarre. and one experience i wrote down all the dialogue this one guy was spouting out to me, almost in poetic rhythm, and years later when i look back at the words, phrases and things that he said, i was able to recognize and match up things with events that had come to pass years later in my life. i don't know what it is but, sometimes complete strangers will be almost prophetic with their words to me...

reply to post by CallmeRaskolnikov


wow. Complete strangers just started talking to you about your life?
Did they claim to be clairvoyant or something?
Was there a catch?
Do you know why they felt the need to speak to you about these things?

ETA: I'm intrigued.

z00mster
reply to post by CallmeRaskolnikov

 

wow. Complete strangers just started talking to you about your life?
Did they claim to be clairvoyant or something?
Was there a catch?
Do you know why they felt the need to speak to you about these things?

yes! complete strangers and that's the thing. the one gentlemen that comes to mind most prominent was at a bar outside smoking a cigarette when i went outside to have one myself and he was talking with someone else maybe a friend of his or maybe another total stranger.

He never claimed to be clairvoyant or psychic or anything. it was honestly one of the weirdest nights of my entire life. he was in the military, i dont think he was active though, he showed me his ID, but i dont remember if he was active military.

im assuming that this guy saw me with my ex at the bar and he just exploded information at me because he had no one else to talk to. and it wasn't like he had been listening to me and my ex talk or anything close to that because me and my ex weren't really talking to each other at all that night to begin with. but, he seemed lonely and just odd, i don't know how to describe it. i just wrote him off as a crazy person. a drunk lunatic spouting gibberish and nonsensical bs to just mess with my mind. but he wasn't crazy. he was spot on about a lot of things.

reply to post by CallmeRaskolnikov


Really strange.
And beside the fact that it was spot on, what about the timing?
Was it a message that you needed to hear that evening?

Sounds like the intuition is telling you that you are being used, through a few sources, and you are not listening.

At least that is what I am getting out of it.

reply to post by z00mster


it was totally strange. and i know it was strange at the time, but that's all it felt like to me. something though told me to write down everything i could remember that he said that night. he was going a mile a minute so it was hard to recollect it all. i didn't think it prophetic anymore than just the ravings of a really interesting person. it stayed in my notebook for quite some time before i took it out again and found truth in mostly everything he had to say.

reply to post by Darkblade71


So it seems
But I'm afraid that I can't trust my gut anymore.
It has been corrupted and needs re-programming.

reply to post by CallmeRaskolnikov


If you took the time and effort to write it down, then you must have known it was important.

Amazing.

ETA: so what was the purpose of him telling you these things you think? I mean in general, not what his purpose might have been.

z00mster
reply to post by CallmeRaskolnikov

 

If you took the time and effort to write it down, then you must have known it was important.

Amazing.

ETA: so what was the purpose of him telling you these things you think? I mean in general, not what his purpose might have been.

edit on 8-4-2014 by z00mster because: (no reason given)

It's the second guessing in regards to your gut that I think is messing you up. It's kind of like when you take a multiple choice test and they tell you go with your first initial choice, don't cross out your first selection and choose something else after thinking about the answer too much. It's the same with intuition, you have to go with your initial feeling.


As for me, I think that the purpose of this person telling me all of this was to get me to open my eyes. In retrospect it was like a warning about the relationship I was in at the time. I was completely head over heels for my ex, I literally thought we were soul mates. Together forever, till death do us part. I was so blinded by those feelings for her that I didn't see any of the bad in her and I forget how he put it without re-reading what i wrote, it was kind of poetic in a way but, he was essentially saying that she was draining me, feeding off of me in a way. My energy, my emotion. Many years later when we had a bad break up and moved out of our apartment it made sense. I found out she was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, severe depression and anxiety. I didn't realize back then that I have empathic tendencies. I tend to take on the emotions/feelings of the people that I am around. So you can imagine how being around someone that emotionally unstable effected me. Hindsight is always 20/20 as they say...