Eurovision:UK=Nil Point.

Last night the United Kingdom showed they had the strongest entry as they proppped up every other entry from around Europe at the bottom of the table without a single point.
The UK's entry,Gemini,Yodeled their way through the first two verses as they desperately struggled to find the right note.That they succeeded hitting the right note occassionally was a credit to their perseverence and the laws of probability.
At times it was difficult to believe there actually was a tune,it was more like keeping time until the snappy pop chorus.
The BBC commentator came gallantly to the rescue.Pointing out,half way through the scoring, that as Israel and Latvia also had Nil Point, there was probably an Iraq backlash at work.No one quite understood just what Latvia had done in the war against Saddam but British patriots clung eagerly to this excuse like a drowning man to a brick.
Then Israel(who once again gave their scores from occupied Jerusalem)with their particuarly dire ode gained the points they needed and it seemed that the UK and Latvia would go down in Eurovision roll of imfamy together.Luckily for Latvia,Estonia was yet to vote and at the last gasp the UK were left alone at the bottom.
Normally this result would ensure that a country would be relegated.Yes unbelievably there is a Second division Eurovision Song contest.No one quite knows on what level of Hell it is hosted but it is believed to be somewhere close to purgatory.Luckily the BBC are one of the biggest financers of Eurovision and so next year we can once again look forward to top flight Eurovision,if that is not a misnomer.

If anyone is interested,Turkey won,Belgium were second,and Russia were third.Greece once again gave top marks to Cyprus and Cyprus once again reciprocated.

So next year Turkey will host Eurovision.Surely Sir Paul McCartney must have something which he discarded in the past but would be adequate.

Thank God for that. The eurovision is one of those things that should have been left in the seventies.

I am proud that we scored nothing, the songs are normally all so poo that none of them really deserve points.

well done to Turkey for having the best bad song in europe, Oh and to Israel for even being in the competion

[Edited on 25-5-2003 by cassini]

hehehe I'd forgotten how hilarious eurovision is. Last night me and a group of friends were watching it in seperate houses and having a runing commentary via chatroom. Terry Wogan just gets more and more sarcastic.

Jemini were diabolical and deservedly scored nothing. She resembled a startled poodle and his dress-sense screamed 'I wanna be a mosher but I don't have a clue'. Even Tatu proved that live performances are simply not their forte, as cats all over the nation ran for cover.

I hope oneday the UK has the courage to follow many other european nations and enter an already established group instead of one specially formed for the occasion. It would be most amusing to see Lost Prophets belting out Fake Sound of Progress in the midst of all those white tuxedos and mid-op transgender backing singers.

France's entry was one of the few with talent and Greece scored high on my personal favourite for the leather balldress and most OTT cleavage.

I am just curious as to why so many of the female singers resembled Dana International?

Nice on Arc.....noticed that the girls looked like Dana!!!

Watched it last night at work and half of the regiment was rolling about the place when the british..ahem..singers....came onto stage!

We decided that if were all back home next year....we'll sign up for britain and do the remake of the MASH song Suicide is Painless!!!

Nah.....some of them want to do Fame....some of these guys can sing!!!!

LMAO!!!!

do it! please! That would just be so funny - especially in today's political climate

ha, just heard the performance on the news and OMG I`m almost ashamed, certainly embarrassed and shocked. Why was that woman aloud to sing in public?

Terrible, flat voice and one from the toilet too...

I actually miss this annual madness: I've already read people blaming it on politics and I've not been fortunate enough to hear this particular musical gem (Jemini??!) but I don't quite see how Turkey would have won on politics - not THE most popular nation.
Come back Abba.

and Britain's still a long way behind Norway -champion "nul-point"-ers.

What ever happened to Dana International, by the way?

I remember actually sitting through Eurovision about a decade go, from start all the way to finish!

This year I did watch it... for about a second flicking from BBC1 to BBC2. I actually heard the Cheecky Girls (spelling?) were making an entry, what is the world coming to.