Adam Lanza’s father speaks out: He’d have killed me too

reply to post by NickDC202

So you're advocating that parents cave into their child's wishes across the board?

Don't believe I advocated for anything. But I do have empathy.

Or are you just a fan of a parent who makes the decision to abandon his troubled child at a time when that child and the parent still in the picture need support and help most?

I think that I read in the article that the parents divorced and from the part I quoted it was Adam who wouldn't see his father. I guess you read a different article. Anyway, none of the above make me a fan as you seem to put it.

No, you're right we should really throw a parade for parents who abandon their children because their child's mental health issues don't fit into that parents lifestyle...

Wow, I know people read between the lines of things but could you calm down with trying to fill them in with whole different stories. Honestly, how the heck do you guys come up with this stuff.(rhetorical; I don't want to know how your mind works).

Try speaking for yourself. OK. I am perfectly capable of speaking for myself.

reply to post by Grimpachi


they just quoted some more of the article on the news...the dad met with the parents of 3 of the dead children, 1 parent says he forgave adam.... the daD WAS S stunned, also, He says he is haunted by his son...every night he has dreams where Adam is chasing him.

reply to post by research100


Yeah I read that in the article but I think he said he had that dream once and realized he was dreaming from the perspective as one of the victims.

There is a lot of information in that article, and I think people will be picking away at parts of it to over analyze for a while. Every aspect of what happened and everyone that was involved directly or indirectly by SH......well.....the whole thing is heart wrenching and sad IMO.

reply to post by Grimpachi

Thanks for your insights, Grimpachi
Was beginning to think I must be the only one seeing something...different.
As a parent - as a - Human Being - I do not see how ANYONE can think there's some cookie-cutter solution that fits everything, everyone and every situation.
I WANTED to be the best parent...EVER! Not on account of some egotistical motivation...but...because of how much I love/d my children.
I know...that I was not.
Yet, I continue to try (and want) to come as near that...pinnacle...as possible - even though my children are all grown (adults).
That said - I made mistakes.
Mistakes of understanding "what" the problem was...
"What" to do...to correct problems, identified.
Some mistakes made...can truly be counted "my fault".
Some, however, were like throwing feathers in the wind.
You look for expert advice...and...They All Say Something...Different!
It looks to me as if, Peter (& Nancy) Lanza put a lot of effort into trying to ascertain how best to treat/handle/(and even - fix) Adam.
Looks to me like - at some point, Nancy kinda' took over...AFTER Adam had attempted to assert himself (failing in/at high school courses...but asserting that he will take 5 full college courses, in defiance of cautions to the same)...and Peter tried to direct him into a more practical election.
Could have been that she was overwhelmed with maternal instinct... Who knows?
I do know (SADLY!) that, when a child (some children) cuts you off from communication - any efforts to cross that line will result in...NO GOOD!
So - the presumption that Peter's 'distance'...was 'a Father failing in his duties'...are somewhat uneducated (imo).

There's a lot of mistaken notions being repeated here, like that Nancy Lanza had given Adam a check for a gun; the police report was wrong in that regard, it was apparently for a computer case of some kind. And yeah, we still don't even know for sure who the real perp was; part of me wonders if this is another patsy setup, especially what with the disappearing 'shooters' in the woods with camo on. They went down the memory hole all too easily, as did the goony-bird coroner's comments that all the kids were shot with 'the long weapon' when other reports are that he had either two or four handguns on him, no rifle or larger weapon.

And like the above post states, if your 18 to 20 year old child refuses to talk to you, there's not a lot you can do; at some point he's an adult, no matter what the issues are and 'watch and wait' ends up being the way things are handled, especially if one parent is absentee and the other one is telling everyone they're handling it as best as possible.

Only one professional ever sounded a warning that Adam was having violent thoughts, and that was many years ago; he probably kept it under wraps from anyone as he got older, but of course the 1000s of dollars of violent video games being played incessantly could only have made it worse. And having any kind of weapons, never mind an entire arsenal in your house under those circumstances was insanity itself.

What I find fascinating is how NO ONE is questioning the obvious: What the hell caused this kid's obvious neurological problems and how far back did they go? He seems to have been highly intelligent but as everyone has said, he was 'weird'; I know an awful lot of 'weird' kids; in fact they seem to be a dime a dozen. What the hell is causing this? Is it the horrific immunization schedule, the Monsanto foods, the Roundup in everything, the fluoride in the water, or all of it?

Because while the 'mental health' issue has been brought front and center with recommendations from especially those who stand to profit from it for everyone and anyone who might not be perfectly mentally healthy to get on board the pharmaceutical freight train, the suicide and murder death rates have skyrocketed since those same pharmaceuticals have become commonplace.

Between the ubiquitous violence (now considered entertainment) in society and the drugs fracking everyone's neurons into pieces, I have to wonder how many more Sandy Hooks, Columbines and all the rest we have to look forward to, whether the perps are the NSA and DHS gone rogue, or individuals who can't take the assault on their brains and psyches anymore.

reply to post by WanDash


It's all been settled now. Well, apparently, it's not the parents' responsibility to give their kids the proper care and professional help. It's Ron Paul who is probably at fault! (sarcasm)

Peter Lanza just had to mention Adam Lanza was Ron Paul's fan.





Hmmm....now I wonder if the entire "interview" was scripted ...with an added political agenda?

reply to post by ~Lucidity


I feel for the father. If he had foresight into what was going to happen though, it's extremely upsetting that he didn't act on it. But I guess it was hard on him, the thought of turning his son in. But at least he'd have still been alive. As well as those Adam hurt and killed.

Such a tragedy on all fronts.

reply to post by Kurius


It did seem very scripted, very pro peter as the father that was just simply pushed away against his will.
Very anti adam, seemed to be a big focus on his mental heath and those records were destroyed.

ablechild.org...

Based on the State Police Report, no mental health records are available for Lanza after 2007 when he was 15-years old. Additionally, Lanza’s apparent primary psychiatrist, Dr. Paul Fox, surrendered his license in June of 2012, destroyed his patient records and move to New Zealand, making it impossible to obtain Lanza’s mental health records from the primary source.

CT state law is 7 years..
ablechild.org...

Since the mental health bombshell released last week by the Connecticut State Police that Adam Lanza’s psychiatrist, Dr. Paul Fox, had destroyed Adam Lanza’s records, had sex with patients, and moved to New Zealand, additional questions about Lanza’s mental health treatment are surfacing.

So not much to go off there and the article paints this like Dr.King opened them up to the world of adam....with no records
I've seen statements form him that he only had a vague recollection of adam.
All he could possibly be going off of is sheer memory,
I see the article failed to mention the Doctors surrendering of his license... but continued to give him the title in the article.
I thought they lost the MD if something like that happens but I could be wrong.

Peter Lanza seems to be going by some sort of information management scheme. Saying certain things over again, repeating perceptions. Did he ever say he loved his son? Curiously, some very simple but glaring things remain unanswered, as if answering all of those inconsistencies would add to the already overwhelmed "Script"
After all, the NSA and CIA can only devote so much time to an operation like Sandy Hook anyways...

Propaganda. You can't believe anything on the "News" anymore.

reply to post by Malynn


CNN's story about the interview has a video commentary, a whole sidebar of stories about Newton, and a link to the official report released in December.

www.cnn.com...

The reporter at the end of the video clip says the father says that he plans to make no other statements about the interview and he never intends to speak about it on camera.

This statement from the interview is pretty disturbing too: "The reason he shot Nancy four times was one for each of us: one for Nancy; one for him; one for (his brother) Ryan; one for me," he said.

He seems to be placing himself into Adam's head at the time of the crime ins some weird way.

Looks to me like they're still working away at making anyone who might be seen as a little unusual seem like a dangerous potential mass murderer who could snap at any minute.

How would you go about making completely innocent and harmless people look like a threat if that was what you wanted to do?

It actually appears that they may not be actually trying to ban guns (not yet anyway). It looks a whole lot more like they're trying to scare people and use "mental health" (In quotes because I believe the definition of "mentally ill" will broadly expand in the near future) as just another reason to put innocent people on vaguely defined watchlists ostensibly created in the interest of public safety.

In short, it's the same old thing you may have come to expect. Just more "good" reasons to spy on people. More (seemingly valid) justifications empowerment for the thought police. More excuses to forcibly brainwash people who are deemed "dangerously unstable".

Now I don't want people to get the wrong idea. Of course I'm well aware that some people really might be highly unstable and very dangerous. No denying that. But isn't that just the perfect excuse? Because once you've gotten people used to the idea that anyone who seems a little unusual or a little angry or something might be dangerous, you've probably convinced the vast majority of (highly malleable) people that maybe they should report just about anyone who seems a little "strange" to them. To whom, though? Ahhh. We already have the perfect Big Brother apparatus for that, don't we? Say it with me. Homeland Security.

And the definition of "strange" or "unusual" or even "suspicious" can obviously be subtly massaged and refined and sculpted over time so that it can mean almost anything and just about anyone could be a suspicious person. Obviously, this Adam Lanza guy appears to have been on the extreme end of abnormal behavior that might legitimately send up red flags. But if they were trying to use this case (and other similar cases) they would need something extreme that few people would question. It would (after all) be extremely difficult to argue (for example) that Adam Lanza's past behavior should not have been cause for concern. That's exactly what you need if you need the perfect case to persuade the public that a certain course of action is necessary. Even/especially if such cases are actually relatively rare and the actual danger posed to the public (overall) by said people (while real) is pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things and should not really be used to make policy and law.

But we know how that goes, right? The millions of "odd people" who live out their lives in perfect peace and never go on a shooting spree are buried under the 24 hour news coverage of the 5-10 extreme cases.

Will any of this happen? Who knows? Maybe I'm being a little too paranoid. I sincerely hope so. I really do hope that it's just my tendency to see everything as a conspiracy. I would love to be wrong.

signalfire
And like the above post states, if your 18 to 20 year old child refuses to talk to you, there's not a lot you can do; at some point he's an adult, no matter what the issues are and 'watch and wait' ends up being the way things are handled, especially if one parent is absentee and the other one is telling everyone they're handling it as best as possible.

If your child is mentally ill or going through a crisis like Peter Lanza even conceded that Adam was experiencing, there are a plethora of things that legally can and should be done by a parent. A decent, compassionate human being who allegedly loved his son doesn't just say 'oh well, not my problem' and completely abandon his son regardless of age. When Hillary Clinton wrote "It Takes a Village" she didn't mention giving up on your kid and abandoning him as a good thing.

A lot of you must love the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night" about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning but didn't...

reply to post by NickDC202


...yeah it'd be could to see the surveillance tapes and find out if he was alone, since one student claimed to see two men running by the door window. Plus ...the guys who ran and were caught in the woods. One was sitting in the front seat of the cop car in cuffs according to a witness.

I wonder if they ever tested Lanza for scopolamine (or the guy in Aurora, CO, for that matter...since more than one gas mask was found there, a blood trail going around the corner of the theater where someone witnessed two guys driving away...and dude who was blamed was sitting in a car_immobilized).

What's the agenda? Get us to pick on the weak, the "weird" and those who think outside the box? We need more unbiased, investigative journalists, not fewer.

This is 100% manufactured propaganda BS. No father would ever say things like that about his son no matter what he did. This is HOW THE MEDIA WANTS YOU TO FEEL about the alleged Adam Lanza. Do not fall for it.

reply to post by signalfire

Calling people "weird" for being different, for having Aspergers, is uncool. Aspergers kids get enough grief for sticking out like sore thumbs and they generally are rule-followers and justice-seekers. His Aspergers/autism had NOTHING to do with what he ended up doing, if in fact he was alone in carrying out this horrific slaughter.

If he was a true sociopath, that was different from Aspergers...a co-morbid diagnosis, if you will, imo.

NickDC202
...If your child is mentally ill or going through a crisis like Peter Lanza even conceded that Adam was experiencing, there are a plethora of things that legally can and should be done by a parent. A decent, compassionate human being who allegedly loved his son doesn't just say 'oh well, not my problem' and completely abandon his son regardless of age. When Hillary Clinton wrote "It Takes a Village" she didn't mention giving up on your kid and abandoning him as a good thing.

A lot of you must love the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night" about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning but didn't...

Hi NickDC202,
I see that you're pretty riled on this - and - not without good reason.
I, however, did not get what you seem to have gotten from the statements &/or interviews.
As others have said - maybe it's all propaganda, anyway - so why even bother considering it...
But, in case it isn't - and the bits we were told he said, are true... I simply see someone who expected his son to act & respond as he had...when younger. Putting distance between himself & his parents...but, eventually, 'grow out of it'.
In hindsight, we can all see that they should not have allowed/had guns in the house, or, have indulged his obsession with them.
But, hindsight is a luxury that is unavailable 'til its value has expired.

If you are of the/a mindset that believes Peter &/or Nancy Lanza should have known that Adam was a danger to society, I don't know that I can go that far (with the current set of facts available). Maybe (or - Probably) they should/could have done something differently. I can't make that call - having not walked in their shoes.

Anyway - Good to see you 'round!

WanDash

NickDC202
...If your child is mentally ill or going through a crisis like Peter Lanza even conceded that Adam was experiencing, there are a plethora of things that legally can and should be done by a parent. A decent, compassionate human being who allegedly loved his son doesn't just say 'oh well, not my problem' and completely abandon his son regardless of age. When Hillary Clinton wrote "It Takes a Village" she didn't mention giving up on your kid and abandoning him as a good thing.

A lot of you must love the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night" about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning but didn't...

Hi NickDC202,
I see that you're pretty riled on this - and - not without good reason.
I, however, did not get what you seem to have gotten from the statements &/or interviews.
As others have said - maybe it's all propaganda, anyway - so why even bother considering it...
But, in case it isn't - and the bits we were told he said, are true... I simply see someone who expected his son to act & respond as he had...when younger. Putting distance between himself & his parents...but, eventually, 'grow out of it'.
In hindsight, we can all see that they should not have allowed/had guns in the house, or, have indulged his obsession with them.
But, hindsight is a luxury that is unavailable 'til its value has expired.

If you are of the/a mindset that believes Peter &/or Nancy Lanza should have known that Adam was a danger to society, I don't know that I can go that far (with the current set of facts available). Maybe (or - Probably) they should/could have done something differently. I can't make that call - having not walked in their shoes.

Anyway - Good to see you 'round!

Always good to read and reflect on your thoughtful words WanDash :-)

For background, I actually read the article Sunday night before the media hype; I'm glad I noticed it in my RSS feed and was able to read it with an open mind.

A couple things stood out to me and didn't sit well with me, most notable was Peter Lanza referring to his son Adam as a "weird kid" multiple times; that terminology was troubling because it's more likely something a bully would say and not the words of a parent referring to his child.

On Monday as I viewed media reports about the article, the narrative that has bothered me since day one continued to be pushed: place the blame on Nancy Lanza, a victim of murder at the hands of her own child, and give Peter Lanza a complete pass and not hold him to a similar standard to Nancy Lanza (even to a much lesser extent would have been acceptable but to give the guy a free pass is complete rubbish); instead we get a presentation that tries to extract sympathy from the reader or the viewer to Peter Lanza while continuing to crap on the corpse of Nancy Lanza. Frankly Peter Lanza abandoned his son who he knew was experiencing significant struggles and acts more like a sperm donor than a father. I find Peter Lanza's excuses for not seeing his son for two years to be trite and he seems to have not cared enough to make a real effort to help his son in the two years before the shooting-- 'oh well I emailed and our visit was cancelled' that excuse is fine a couple times but for two years it is simply unacceptable. I guess a child who has social issues and was likely mentally ill didn't fit into Peter Lanza's lifestyle and he just said 'oh well, not my issue anymore.' Additionally in the aftermath we've seen a tsunami ofdisparaging comments and blame placed on Nancy Lanza for taking Adam shooting but those same things have not been said about Peter Lanza -- considering that Peter Lanza was a part of those trips to the shooting range and even encouraged Adam to keep shooting because mom and dad love it; it's a family outing activity. So yes, I feel that the free pass that Peter Lanza has been given is unacceptable considering he is guilty of many of those same things that have been said about Nancy Lanza.

NickDC202

Always good to read and reflect on your thoughtful words WanDash :-)

For background, I actually read the article Sunday night before the media hype; I'm glad I noticed it in my RSS feed and was able to read it with an open mind.

A couple things stood out to me and didn't sit well with me, most notable was Peter Lanza referring to his son Adam as a "weird kid" multiple times; that terminology was troubling because it's more likely something a bully would say and not the words of a parent referring to his child.

On Monday as I viewed media reports about the article, the narrative that has bothered me since day one continued to be pushed: place the blame on Nancy Lanza, a victim of murder at the hands of her own child, and give Peter Lanza a complete pass and not hold him to a similar standard to Nancy Lanza (even to a much lesser extent would have been acceptable but to give the guy a free pass is complete rubbish); instead we get a presentation that tries to extract sympathy from the reader or the viewer to Peter Lanza while continuing to crap on the corpse of Nancy Lanza. Frankly Peter Lanza abandoned his son who he knew was experiencing significant struggles and acts more like a sperm donor than a father. I find Peter Lanza's excuses for not seeing his son for two years to be trite and he seems to have not cared enough to make a real effort to help his son in the two years before the shooting-- 'oh well I emailed and our visit was cancelled' that excuse is fine a couple times but for two years it is simply unacceptable. I guess a child who has social issues and was likely mentally ill didn't fit into Peter Lanza's lifestyle and he just said 'oh well, not my issue anymore.' Additionally in the aftermath we've seen a tsunami ofdisparaging comments and blame placed on Nancy Lanza for taking Adam shooting but those same things have not been said about Peter Lanza -- considering that Peter Lanza was a part of those trips to the shooting range and even encouraged Adam to keep shooting because mom and dad love it; it's a family outing activity. So yes, I feel that the free pass that Peter Lanza has been given is unacceptable considering he is guilty of many of those same things that have been said about Nancy Lanza.

Thanks for the kind words.

I see your point/s. Don't agree with all of them, but do, some.
I agree that Nancy' has taken the brunt of unwarranted public abuse.
And, the comment that he would exchange places with the families that lost children (or others) to the tragedy, seems kind of trite and poorly thought-through, if you ask me.
Nevertheless, I don't think there is a script on the market for 'how to live, act and talk, when your child committed one of the most heinous acts of your era'.
Obviously, Nancy' cannot answer for, or defend herself.
Adam' can't answer for himself.
So - we are left with Peter, Ryan, the media, armchair psychoanalysts and Law Enforcement...to settle us back to sleep.

I haven't been sleeping well, lately.

I don't know if I should care or not about anything related to this incident...

I don't know much about the event...

But once you know what the outcome was I don't think details make a difference...


What I will say...
If this troubled young man truly had Asperger's Syndrome...
Is that he did not work alone in this... That's out of the question...
If you have ever met anyone with Asperger's you'll know exactly why that's not possible either!!!


Those poor children
Goddess bless their Souls!!!


Peace.