Girlfriend wearing ex-fiance's ring...

reply to post by ladyteeny

Ex boyfriend or ex-fiance? I mean this ring was a symbol with the intention of getting married, a bit different to rings as gifts.

reply to post by Mister_Bit


This isn't meant to be insulting, but you seem kind of passive-aggressive. What's the point of building emotional barriers and preparing for the worst? In my most humble opinion you have 3 options:

1: The weak approach- say nothing, do nothing and find out years down the road that she's been hooking up with this ex behind your back.
2: The strong approach- fly off the handle and sever all ties immediately.
3: The hippy approach- sit down and talk about your feelings and how she's making you feel insecure. Don't tell her to get rid of the rings or else because most people respond poorly to ultimatums. If after hearing what you have to say she offers to be rid of the jewels you can relax and find some other reason to be insecure. If she offers any other response go to option 2.

Of course you could always go with option 4. That option is you take the rings and swallow them. Then go hit a chinese buffet and tear it up with pride. In a few short hours you expel the rings and a couple of pounds of unidentifiable chinese food into a bag and let her decide if she wants to continue wearing them, this is obviously not for the faint of heart.

reply to post by Mister_Bit


Yeah, what finger is she wearing it on?

reply to post by DickGozinya


I agree with the hippy approach. Sit down and talk about. Communication is the most important thing in a relationship! But im sure you knew that

reply to post by Mister_Bit

I just don't seem to be able to get around the fact that they're just material objects, to me they're a symbol of something..

You're absolutely right. An engagement ring is a symbol of someone's intent to marry. A wedding ring is a symbol of a union of marriage.

If someone is wearing either of these and telling you that they don't mean anything, they are taking you for a ride. Before you throw the girl to the wind, I think you should at least give her an ultimatum. But if she is in contact with her ex still I would just leave.

If she isn't in contact with her ex, it could just be lingering feelings. Still talking to him though, and she may as well still be with him...

Originally posted by deadmessiah
Girls put a lot of meaning into rings. My mom would go off on my dad if the ring wasn't on his finger because he was working on his lathe. Your girl knows damn well what wearing her ex's ring implies.

Depends on the girl/woman.
I've taken my wedding ring off while painting, so I don't get primer on it, and forgotten to put it back on for a couple of weeks.
Also, I've told my husband, who never wore rings before, to remember to take it off if he has to do anything where it might get caught. I'd rather he accidently lost the ring, than his finger.

reply to post by Mister_Bit

1. Depends on how long you've been together:
If you've been together for awhile (2+ years) and you know that he's ancient history (especially if she broke up with him), then it may not be an issue. If it's a recent split, though (esp.

Sounds like a hint to buy her a ring.
Run a fast as you can,dude.

Originally posted by kdog1982
Sounds like a hint to buy her a ring.
Run a fast as you can,dude.

I was going to say the same thing. Especially after reading that post about how she bought a shiny ring herself and never wears it. The ex's rings sound like her plan B. I say it's a hint. You should probably just ask her what's up with the rings though, because sitting on ATS isn't going to fix the issue.

which finger is she wearing it on dude?
2nd

Meh, I don't like the sound of it. As someone who was engaged to another person before and still has the ring, I would neeevveeerrr wear it now. In fact, I didn't wear it much then either (it was that bad). Seems like she is hung up on something.

From a female perspective that's just wrong. I see two possible reasons behind this and both reasons make her look pretty bad in my book. One is she is to shallow to put to much emotion into your relationship, the other is she is to hung up on her ex to put to much emotion into your relationship.
Talked to her and tell her how you feel about it. if she cares about you she'll understand that it bothers you and won't wear it again. If she tries to feed you a line like "It doesn't mean anything, you're making to big a deal about it" and continues to wear it, her heart isn't in the right place.

Originally posted by thegoods724
use her and then lose her, obvious shes a dumb ho, its easy to see how messed up that is. If she doesnt care about u enough on this situation she doesnt really care about u.

Been burned huh?

This is completely wrong....
Just because she is wearing those rings it doesn't mean poo. It is probably just because she likes the rings. I mean come on. I have jewelry and all kinds of things from exes, I'm not gonna trash everything I own just because it came from a past relationship. If the OP can deal with it sounds like it's his own issues and insecurities. If he has a problem he should just say something to her and ask why she is wearing them instead of getting all upset about it. It is more than likely nothing.

Like she said "They are just rings." Simple.....that is all they are.

Originally posted by Mister_Bit

Originally posted by boncho
Depends if the rings were for an engagement or not. If it was just a gift, you cannot expect her to get rid of them. I still have jewelry and pictures of ex-girlfriends, and I would under no circumstance want to give them up or lose them.

The people in my past were a part of my life. Whether or not they will be in the future.

Engagement ring, yeah.

Ok now this is a totally different story. She should not even be in possession of that ring imo. To me if an engagement doesn't go thru I think the female should give it back. That ring was a promise to marriage and well it didn't happen so why keep something like that? If it were just a regular ring imo it wouldn't be that big of a deal but an engagement ring is a different story.

Females are very much so materialistic and put much stock into rings and all that. That being the case I just don't see a female wearing one especially from an old flame, unless they were thinking of him. I think you should get a new girlfriend because it sure sounds like she is thinking of another boyfriend.


However it is better to ask, you would be surprised what asking will reveal. Both in what they say and what they don't say. Ask her what is up op and you will have all your answers.

I say maybe take a hammer to her fingers. Once they swell up she wont be able to wear the rings. Just a thought.

You know in a way this is why us men, back before my time or yours, Used to seek virginity as a wife. However now thats almost impossible, so we hold value to the merits of the relationship. One of which is symbolism. My advice if this stuff gets you all messed up, seek a women whos never been married, dose not have kids, and who has never been engaged. However if jelousy is illing you, you will repeat the same problem again and again.

get out now. no joke. not only will it hurt you, but she knows it will and still wears them. double red flag. not worth it. that's what i think anyway.

If you can't be the number 1 guy in her life then you are wasting your time hanging around and being the number 2guy in her life

Either she is still hung up on the ex. or is dropping a very (not) so subtle hint for you to buy her a ring. Either way that's a pretty messed up thing to do and I would seriously think twice before considering going any further in the relationship.