ATS Thread One Million! (coming soon)

This is not claiming to be the one millionth thread on ATS.
But I’m alerting members to the rapid approach of the one millionth thread, or rather the thread numbered “one million”.
(I put it like that in case somebody points out that the very first thread was numbered “1001” or something equally boring)

I noticed what was coming, because I do crosslinking between my own threads.
Thus-Crosslinking
And thus- More crosslinking
Which makes me very conscious of rising thread numbers.
I’ve just put up a thread which was numbered –998949

Since the use of new thread numbers is currently running at more than a thousand a week, the thread numbered “one million” must be arriving in the next few days.

No doubt the software is already geared up for coping with seven digit thread numbers.
The rest of us will just have to be more careful when proof-reading misdirected links.

The really interesting question is this;
Whose thread will it be?
And which among the many themes of ATS will provide the content of that thread “one million”?
(Yes, I know, that’s two questions)
I’ve been inspecting the hard drives of some of the more eminent members of ATS (you think I’m joking, don’t you?), and can report that at least a dozen hot threads are already set up and ready to go to claim that coveted prize.

They include;
“HAARP controlling spread of Chinese flu.”
“First Irish Pope; next job lined up for O’Bama?”
“My middle wife a quadrisexual from Orion- need marriage counselling.”
“Can we have a Tiddlywinks forum?”
“Long-time lurker, with ingenious UFO theory masquerading as Intro thread.”
“Why are there so many religion and theology threads in the religion and theology forum? “
“British survivalist needs help finding huge, untamed wilderness close to Manchester.”
“404’d again? What happened to “marriage counselling” thread?”
“The elite’s nefarious plan is to trick us into believing they’ve got a nefarious plan.”
“The world with two suns; Youtube IS the alternate universe.”
“Muslim who thinks he understands the New Testament; ask me anything.”
“I can’t believe my wife is leaving me; must be a false flag.”

and many, many more.

But with all this probable competition, what tactics would they need to adopt to get their own thread in the right place?
The simple approach would be to wait for thread “999,999” to appear, and then make their move.
It would have to be a real “pounce”, though, like Brenda banging down the button at “Fame and Fortune” (only fans of “Dinnerladies” will get that reference).
In any case, the right page for detecting the thread number of a new thread is not the right page for posting a new one, so it all gets very technical.

On the other hand, you don’t want to move too soon, because then you’ll just be providing the “99” for somebody else to follow up.
So when thread numbers get into the “nervous nineties”, the appearance of new threads might begin to slow down.
It could be like the last kilometres of a stage in the Tour de France, with Sean Kelly saying “All the big favourites are looking at each other now- they’re all playing the waiting game”.

Yet all this effort could end in anti-climax.
We might find all the favourites falling or stumbling as they try to jump the last fence (I’ve switched channels to a different sport), and the little-known Foinavon galloping away to the winning post.
That is, the number might be taken up accidentally by someone quite unconscious of the exciting moment.

Or if the number “one million” is taken up by an “Alert” message, we won’t be allowed to see it anyway.

What’s the betting that when thread “999,999” appears, ATS will suddenly and mysteriously go offline?
When it re-emerges, thirty seconds later, the next thread will be up under Springer’s name, and will carry the title “Congratulations ATS; you’re all millionaires”.

reply to post by DISRAELI


Wow... you DO have an imagination don't you?

You forgot one... the "We survived the Viking Apocalypse t-Shirts Here" thread...

hahahahaha


sorry... I am in viking heaven currently.... about to wreak havoc... hahahaha

its on 984,530 a thousand a week it wil take over 15 weeks ?

reply to post by OpinionatedB

Thank you.
The author of that one probably had a better password protection system.
(Are you trying to imply that I made them up? Who, me?)

reply to post by nofear39


No cause this thread is 998,950...

reply to post by nofear39

My last thread, as i said, was 998949.
This one is 998950.

reply to post by DISRAELI


No... I am implying you are silly!



PS. I about died laughing at this one:

“Muslim who thinks he understands the New Testament; ask me anything.”

Just wait and see... It'll be some totally new member who honestly never signed up or spent time here before who gets the lucky honor. The way things go, 999,999 will be the thread right before the new person makes their cautious and tentative intro to say Hiya to the new community when... W H A M M O ! Welcome as the 1 millionth thread maker!

I wonder if someone could set things up to play music and different graphics. Maybe a little slide show of ATS history for a couple moments to the one who gets that 1 million spot to hold and cherish?

Poor person would probably log off and never even type the URL in again for fear of what it all meant. After all, it would be quite a display for someone just arriving at Above Top Secret.

reply to post by OpinionatedB

That's all right then.
That's just a national trait.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

www.abovetopsecret.com...

have a look

reply to post by nofear39

I suspect that statistic is not counting threads started as "alerts", or started behind the scenes, which are not public topics but do have thread numbers.
The actual thread number is what I'm following.

reply to post by DISRAELI


It'll be like Y2K, only real this time.

Dammit! You've doomed us all!

Dooom!

Dooooom!

reply to post by DISRAELI

one question how do you inspect the hard drive of members here you in bed with the nsa / cia / etc

honest it is not my porn i m only looking after it officer

reply to post by Wrabbit2000

Just what I was thinking. The "unsuspecting victim" is exactly what is most likely to happen.

reply to post by 999zxcv

I do it with my psychic powers.
Given to me by the inhabitants of Orion.

I don't own a PC but couldn't one improve the odds by queing up 6-10 threads them entering all at 999,999?I think there are a few writers here who could have that many decent threads in progress.

DISRAELI
reply to post by nofear39

 

I suspect that statistic is not counting threads started as "alerts", or started behind the scenes, which are not public topics but do have thread numbers.
The actual thread number is what I'm following.

pictures or it didnt happen !!! ok i will believe ya this time pal

reply to post by beezzer

I think this one will be more fun than Y2K.

reply to post by TDawg61

I think that could be difficult technically, because starting a thread even by pasting consumes time. Don't you find?
While you're doing all that, somebody else slips in.

reply to post by DISRAELI


Hey... Y2K was supposed to be great... I was going to steal a double wide mobile home...

damn the luck!