An Open Letter to My Three Step-Sons, The Truth Hurts.

I have been married to your mother since 2005. As you know we have been together since 2001. I meet you three when you were, 17, 14 and 12. I tried to be the dad you all did not have. I thought we all had a great relationship. I was wrong. You three are now 26, 23, 21. And I have to say you are three of the worst men I have ever meet.( I use the word men & man) for the folks reading this, because you three arent men. Your far from it.

I have watched you all use your mother completely up. 26 yr old, you have not called or talked to your mother in two years. Calls. e-mails, text, handwritten letters. You have zero response. Why? Is there nothing left for you to take away? Decided when the college money ran out you would just dissapear? What did you find someone else to use and abuse? Well 26yr old, the jig is up. We know about dropping out & we know about the rageing Crystal Meth addiction you have. What a damn waste of potential. At least your not here, freaking her life up even worse. I despise the way you have treated your mother. I would like nothing better than to beat your arse really really good. Slap some sense into your meth addicted brain. But. I digress and remain silent, why? I love your mother.

Hey there 23yr old. Where the hell do I start with you. Your the middle child and you make the other two look good. That's saying alot. You are married & have a daughter, you allready have buried a son that lived less than 24 hours. I thought that would straighten your arse out, it did not. When we your mom & I found out about your drug problem we were shocked to find out it is as bad as it is. How do you hide those track marks on your arms and feet? At 23 you & your wife are full blown junkies. Lying, stealing, whining, all the while every damn dime that goes into your hands gets shot into your arms. You are taking food out of your childs mouth & I freaking hate you for that. Your mom took you three away from your dad who as you alll three know is a drug addicted piece of shat. Well, the apples did'nt fall too far from the tree did they? My granddaughter deserves better than you two. Only a matter of time before DSS get's involved and takes your child from you. Is that what you want to happen? Only a matter of time.

Last but not least . 21 yr old. So much BS from you it's ridiculus. Lying, stealing, and now you as well are a full blown drug addict, a junkie. You would steal the coins off a blind mans eye's with a smile on your face. You stole your mothers's silver service, a item she cherished. It took me $ 700 to get it back for her. You ever gonna give me that money back? NO. You have alienated all your friends and family, even your two POS brothers. Now that's a damn accomplishment. You use the system to acquire legal drugs that you sell for your drug of choice, coc aine. That's getting ready to end. You have a food stamp card you sell for drugs, that's gonna stop too.. I know your the one that broke into our bedroom, that was a big damn surprise to find the firearms were'nt there was'nt it? I aint stupid. Gullible at times, not stupid.

Your step brother & sister want have anything to do with any of you. They wonder why I have stayed in this. Why? Because I love your mother. I am the one that got her to the Narc-a Non meetings, I'm the one that's there. I am the one that keeps her together, she has realized she has done nothing wrong in raising her three sons. That what the three of you have gotten into is YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT. The ties have been cut. She & I have taken our lives back. We have let go of the anchor that was dragging US to the bottom of the abyss, YOU THREE. and your drug addicted lives.

I said my marriage vows and meant them. I said I would love, honor & protect your mother. I just did'nt know I would have to protect her from her own sons. Getting your lives back together is now completely on you three. We are done.
It's hard to sat this to you three. But if you kill yourselves with your lifestyles, we will be sad and mourn our loss, but we want be shocked it happened. Go with the fact, I will take care of your mother. This fact you three cannot deny.

How dare you condemn someone because of a drug addiction?
Doesn't it tell you something that they are ALL addicts?
I bet your wife (the mother) had a lot to do with it, she was a drug abuser after all.
Children can't raise themselves you know.
You say you tried to be the father they never had?
This is real fatherly of you and is a testament to how hard you tried.

Why do want to get your son insulted on a public forum?


It is not their fault that they used their mother.
That should have been taught to behave when the time was right.

Best of luck to your family.
I hope you sort this mess out.

Interesting to read this, from someone in my husbands position.
Although things didn't get as bad as your situation, My youngest was a lot like your youngest step-son.
I had to wonder many times, when my husband would finally leave, having had enough. He's still here.
The boys are gone.

The only thing I can hope for you, is what happened with us. They are FINALLY starting to realize how good they really had it at home, and have said so, out loud, in public.

I know it's hard, but stay cautiously optimistic.
Thank you, from other women like your wife, for loving her enough to stay.

reply to post by openyourmind1262


Sorry to hear your situation, it's a bad one when families are ripped apart by drugs. I'm just curious as do you think your step sons will ever see or read this or is this just a way of unloading your chest and feelings?

My only advise would be to go get your grand children so they have a real shot at life! that's priority one.

reply to post by openyourmind1262

This is going to come back full circle. Good luck.

Originally posted by GmoS719
How dare you condemn someone because of a drug addiction?
Doesn't it tell you something that they are ALL addicts?
I bet your wife (the mother) had a lot to do with it, she was a drug abuser after all.
Children can't raise themselves you know.
You say you tried to be the father they never had?
This is real fatherly of you and is a testament to how hard you tried.

edit on 1-2-2013 by GmoS719 because: (no reason given)

Narc-Anon is for family members of addicts, not addicts. I have zero drug addicts in my family and still know this.

Originally posted by GmoS719
How dare you condemn someone because of a drug addiction?
Doesn't it tell you something that they are ALL addicts?
I bet your wife (the mother) had a lot to do with it, she was a drug abuser after all.
Children can't raise themselves you know.
You say you tried to be the father they never had?
This is real fatherly of you and is a testament to how hard you tried.

edit on 1-2-2013 by GmoS719 because: (no reason given)

It's called Tough Love. Co-dependence doesn't work. All co-dependence gets you, is used up.

OP. I too have a family member like your step sons. You can spend the rest of your life cleaning up their messes, or take the stance you and your Wife have. Kudos to both of you.

Hopefully, you'll be there to take the Grand Children if it comes to that.

Des

1. They're not your kids.

2. They're adults.

3. Sounds like the mom didn't do a great job raising them.

4. She's probably taking you for all you've got too.

hi, man, do you think they are on this site or is this just a ramble?
but yeah, drugs are bad,
and big pharmaceutical companies are evil.

Originally posted by AwakeinNM

Originally posted by GmoS719
How dare you condemn someone because of a drug addiction?
Doesn't it tell you something that they are ALL addicts?
I bet your wife (the mother) had a lot to do with it, she was a drug abuser after all.
Children can't raise themselves you know.
You say you tried to be the father they never had?
This is real fatherly of you and is a testament to how hard you tried.

edit on 1-2-2013 by GmoS719 because: (no reason given)

Narc-Anon is for family members of addicts, not addicts. I have zero drug addicts in my family and still know this.

And AA is for family members of addicts? Wrong.
I know because someone close to me attends Narcotics anonymous.

Originally posted by AwakeinNM
Narc-Anon is for family members of addicts, not addicts. I have zero drug addicts in my family and still know this.

www.na.org...
www.nar-anon.org...

Originally posted by Destinyone

Originally posted by GmoS719
How dare you condemn someone because of a drug addiction?
Doesn't it tell you something that they are ALL addicts?
I bet your wife (the mother) had a lot to do with it, she was a drug abuser after all.
Children can't raise themselves you know.
You say you tried to be the father they never had?
This is real fatherly of you and is a testament to how hard you tried.

edit on 1-2-2013 by GmoS719 because: (no reason given)

It's called Tough Love. Co-dependence doesn't work. All co-dependence gets you, is used up.

OP. I too have a family member like your step sons. You can spend the rest of your life cleaning up their messes, or take the stance you and your Wife have. Kudos to both of you.

Hopefully, you'll be there to take the Grand Children if it comes to that.

Des

Tough love?
There is no love present in his post.

Originally posted by openyourmind1262
I have watched you all use your mother completely up. 26 yr old, you have not called or talked to your mother in two years. Calls. e-mails, text, handwritten letters. You have zero response. Why? Is there nothing left for you to take away? Decided when the college money ran out you would just dissapear? What did you find someone else to use and abuse? Well 26yr old, the jig is up. We know about dropping out & we know about the rageing Crystal Meth addiction you have. What a damn waste of potential.

Take it easy stepdad. I don't need college now. I got a really good job with this guy named Walter White. The pay is good, the work is usually pretty steady, and I don't have to pay for the meth anymore. I've got it all under control, for the most part.

Originally posted by Xaphan

Originally posted by openyourmind1262
I have watched you all use your mother completely up. 26 yr old, you have not called or talked to your mother in two years. Calls. e-mails, text, handwritten letters. You have zero response. Why? Is there nothing left for you to take away? Decided when the college money ran out you would just dissapear? What did you find someone else to use and abuse? Well 26yr old, the jig is up. We know about dropping out & we know about the rageing Crystal Meth addiction you have. What a damn waste of potential.

Take it easy stepdad. I don't need college now. I got a really good job with this guy named Walter White. The pay is good, the work is usually pretty steady, and I don't have to pay for the meth anymore. I've got it all under control, for the most part.

That show blows.

reply to post by GmoS719


There is the love to let them go. To bottom out, so they can start to pick themselves up and rebuild their lives.

Or, would you let them into your life. To steal from you to feed their addictions. I had to cut off a Sister who stole everything she could get her hands on from my home. Even to breaking in while I was at work. I don't call that love on her part.

Maybe, when those 3 sons realize that their Parents love them enough to say enough is enough....just maybe then, they'll see how destructive their *chosen* lifestyles have been. You do an addict no favors by being codependent with them. That kind of love kills.

Des

Have you actually tried helping them beat their addiction?

If not, then you have ZERO room to complain about anything.

Either way, it's VERY cowardice of you to bash 3 drug addicted adults anonymously on the internet. Grow a set and be the example you are claiming to be.

Originally posted by Destinyone
reply to post by GmoS719

 

There is the love to let them go. To bottom out, so they can start to pick themselves up and rebuild their lives.

Or, would you let them into your life. To steal from you to feed their addictions. I had to cut off a Sister who stole everything she could get her hands on from my home. Even to breaking in while I was at work. I don't call that love on her part.

Maybe, when those 3 sons realize that their Parents love them enough to say enough is enough....just maybe then, they'll see how destructive their *chosen* lifestyles have been. You do an addict no favors by being codependent with them. That kind of love kills.

Des

Who said anything about being codependent?
A drug addict can't get better on their own.
Left alone to make the right choice they will always use the drugs.
Kicking them to the curb is not the answer.
He didn't give up on his drug addicted wife, why give up on her children?

Originally posted by Destinyone
It's called Tough Love. Co-dependence doesn't work. All co-dependence gets you, is used up.

Tough love involves saying no I will not clean up your mess... and stopping your half of enabling the situation.

Just *do* it... don't brag about it to them or others, or beat the hell out of the person as you do it. The OP, if it's genuine, has all the symptoms necessary to see deeper.

Good luck OP.

meth - a hellava drug.

Tough love all the way. Don't listen to the bleeding hearts condemning you for the rant, they're enablers.