What the Heck....

Hi guys. I know my title doesn't say much but I feel the need to vent.Since my friends and family are [snip] I felt the need to do it here.I'm going to be homeless in about 12 days.Lost my job about three weeks ago and my landlord refuses to work with me even though I've never been late on my rent.He wants me out.Fine. I've sent my daughter to live with her grandparents.It's the worse thing I've ever had to do.She cried and wanted to know when she could come back home and it broke my heart.I didn't know what to tell her.

After five years of being sober I gave in.It is all too much right now. The stress is literally killing me.I don't know where I'm going to end up or what I'm going to do. I've been listening to this song all day and just thinking that it fits my situation right now.

reply to post by nightstalker78


This sucks [snip]

Coincidentally, it has also been a nagging fear of mine. I can't imagine what you're going through right now, but I hope it gets better.

Or maybe I don't. Maybe I hope we all get nuked into oblivion so we don't have to take responsibility for stories like this like we all should. Not sure anymore.

Either way you have my thoughts/love.

reply to post by nightstalker78


First thing. Put the bottle down, it won't help a damn thing, and you need to save your money for more important things.

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation, it really sucks, but it''s not the end of the world, just a change in direction. You'll make it through this, you still have a strong will, I've read a lot of your posts, you're not a quitter.

Keep posting for however long it takes to help change your state of mind. Get some other people's perspective, while you just sit for a bit.

I'll be checking back in on your thread...I care...

Des

reply to post by Destinyone


well i wont say it wouldn't fix a dam thing cause it is good for a quick numbing agent, and i have found some of my best Epiphany's come after a hard night with the bottle, im not saying to drink the pain away forever, but alcohol does have its purposes.

Originally posted by DeadSeraph
reply to post by nightstalker78

 

This sucks balls.

Coincidentally, it has also been a nagging fear of mine. I can't imagine what you're going through right now, but I hope it gets better.

Or maybe I don't. Maybe I hope we all get nuked into oblivion so we don't have to take responsibility for stories like this like we all should. Not sure anymore.

Either way you have my thoughts/love.

edit on 19-10-2012 by DeadSeraph because: (no reason given)

Thank you for this. Part of me thinks it will get better but another part of me knows it WONT. I've worked hard all my life to have what I do. And to know that it's all going to be gone tears me up inside.

reply to post by nightstalker78


i went through something similar with the daughter situation and still do. when i found out that i only get to be with my children half of there childhood i was broken and at the end of my every other week with them my oldest(6) sometimes cries and says she wants to stay forever and it breaks my heart, thing is all we can do is just keep on keeping on and know the time we have with our children is golden and we should make the best of it, much luck brother, and remember lifes a garden dig it. and as for the booze thing, dont let it grab hold of you, but do what you gotta do to get were you need to be.

reply to post by Destinyone


You're right.The bottle is gone and has been. I'm disappointed in myself because this is not me..this is NOT how I deal with things anymore. I had a moment of weakness.Right now my stress level is so high and I'm at my wits end. I really don't know what to do.

reply to post by nightstalker78


Stuff is just that...stuff. yes, I know it's painful to lose it...but it can be replaced. It's stuff.

You are more important than stuff. Your Child is more important than stuff. Right now, you need to put your thinking cap on, and think in different ways than you are used to thinking. It's not going to be easy, but you can do it. What are your plans for tomorrow. If you don't have any, make one...just one small plan for tomorrow. A doable plan that helps you focus on putting one foot in front of another. What can you think of right now. Maybe go to check out some local organizations that help with temporary housing. You need a place to work from first of all. Even a room in a house. Do you have any old friends that can store some of your stuff, if you can. Let's work on this together....

Des

reply to post by DocHolidaze


See that's the thing I had (have) full custody of my daughter.Her mother is a junkie and just isn't around.I'm in a bad spot right now because I lost my job and sent her to live with her grandparents. It's killing me.

reply to post by Destinyone


I wouldn't even know where to begin with that stuff. I've been looking around online but I cant find anything that I would qualify for.And I'm too proud to do that even though I know I should because I need to do it for my daughter.

reply to post by nightstalker78


Finally,, i find another post, i actually know something about..

Hi,, I'm darrman.. I'm an addict.

liquids,, powders,, gummy-goos,, it did not matter..

i used until i ran out of cash, - They ran out of dope, or it was closing time.. or

but---That was a long time ago..

i managed to string a few days together and before I knew it i had 6 months,, then 2 years.. then 5 years then 10.. Clean and Sober

i had a dammed good business,, an even better income- a wife a new house,, a SON

and 9-11 happened..

i lost the wife first..

i was crushed.. could not work -- could not think..

the biz i closed down.... long story but i worked it with HER..

it wasn't the same anymore--


the house i was fine in for a long time.. SAVINGS-- but..

eventually -- i lost the house..

the new car was repossessed..

and i found myself living in a motel,, paying weekly i think it was 250/week

making 100 bucks a day 5 days a week digging ditches..

i lost Everything.. and i never picked up the booze--

never thought about it---- until i lost my son..

THAT damaged me in a way i refuse to mention here...

the pain was too great....

i went to the liquor store.. it was Either THAT.. or the Gun shop..

i think i chose the right path, at that time,, for me...

____________________________________________________

BUT

it does get better.. over time.. a new wife helped LOLOLOLOL kinda..


the pain we have from Loss.. lasts a long time

but unless we choose to kill ourselves.. WE outlive the pain..

it sucks my friend.. i do know a little about it-- it Sucks..

but it will get better......

Today.. a few years later.. i own a successful One Man Business..www.abovetopsecret.com...

i have Very low stress.. and take things easy...


Dont do what i did...

Do what you're going to do,, and feel no shame or guilt in Drinking.. just don't pick up in the morning..lol

better to have a "release Valve" then Blowing your lid..


Just my humble opinion

Darrman

Originally posted by nightstalker78
reply to post by Destinyone

 

I wouldn't even know where to begin with that stuff. I've been looking around online but I cant find anything that I would qualify for.And I'm too proud to do that even though I know I should because I need to do it for my daughter.

Pride doesn't help you nor you Daughter right now.. Now is the time to use every single resource you can find. That's why they are there..ya know. It doesn't make you any less of a man or a father to need a little help, or a lot of help from time to time. This just happens to be one of those times. So stop letting pride get in the way of you getting back together with your Daughter. OK, we have that one squared away, I hope.

Keep writing, I'm up for the night, I'm here with ya...you are not alone, even if it feels like, you are not alone...

Des

Sorry to read that this is happening to you. As for sending your child to live with the grandparents, I can only imagine that it must feel terrible yet on the flip side it shows that you care more for the welfare of your child than for yourself, which I would say is a good thing.

Do you have a car? I only ask because it is better than being on the street if you can't/won't find temporary housing. I have lived in my car before and could give you practical advice on that if needed.

The only other advice that I can give is to try and look at this as a temporary situation that you WILL overcome. No matter how bad it hurts, keep trying for you and your child. Of course look for work and take just about anything that becomes available until you can get into something ideal.

reply to post by nightstalker78


one thing i suggest is to be with her as much as you can while your figuring it out, cause that's all kids really need is someone to be there, and truley love them, i can tell you truley love her so being there when you can while ur trying get in a situation were you an be there all the time is nessecary and they only thing that should be on your mind. I believe you got what it takes but, you already know you have what it takes.

nightstalker, are you in the U.S. It might help to know your general location in trying to help you find some online resources to check out tomorrow,

Des

Originally posted by Destinyone
nightstalker, are you in the U.S. It might help to know your general location in trying to help you find some online resources to check out tomorrow,

Des

I am in the US. I'm in Florida.

I really appreciate everyone's replies so far. You're all a big help. Im just lost right now and you guys can't even imagine how much i appreciate the support.

I want to toss out here that in no way should Pride be an issue for taking the benefits you and you with your daughter are rightfully entitled to. Moochers are Moochers..but you've lost your job. Been sober 5 years, which makes me think you've probably been working at least those 5 years. That means you paid into the system and paid for whatever you need to ask back from Government assistance now.

Your Mini- suggests Florida? Good and Bad depending on what part...and I assume going to your parents for a short time to get things straight with your daughter wasn't an option? BTW... You could qualify for immediate emergency assistance on staying where you are too..... NO way to know that for sure...but that program absolutely does exist in various forms for every state I've known of. I can say that staying IN a home is a hell of a lot easier in every way than getting into one after losing it. ...I'd try everything in that direction, personally.

Just keep in mind, your work paid for what you are going to get now to remain stable in a VERY bad economy. You're not a moocher...and if Pride wouldn't stop you from collecting on an investment or similar thing, it shouldn't here. It's as much there FOR you as it was your forced obligation to pay to support while you had no need of it.

reply to post by nightstalker78


Good...we have a starting place, I'm in Georgia, not that far away, at least the same Country. First, you must apply for food stamps. You can always use food stamps as part of your rent in a shared housing situation. A lot of people do it...all the time. So, get out a pen and paper...now...so you can have a game plan started for tomorrow. You might not remember, and it's important you get going on what you do have control over, as soon as you can. So, a *do it* list is important. Let me know when you have it in front of you, so we can work on it as a group. I'll go check out some online info and be right back....

Des

reply to post by nightstalker78


I'm in FL too. Would you be comfortable saying what region? I'm in central but have a bit of knowledge about southern and northern areas as well. You don't need to get specific but knowing the region will help narrow down the search.

Originally posted by Miri08
reply to post by nightstalker78

 

I'm in FL too. Would you be comfortable saying what region? I'm in central but have a bit of knowledge about southern and northern areas as well. You don't need to get specific but knowing the region will help narrow down the search.

You are awesome....

Des