Can You rant 'n' roll?

Everyone's got a rant and beef with something or other.

But I wonder how many people can put their rant to poetry and music?

I'd love to hear a rant put to the tune of a popular song, perhaps just two verses or a verse and a chorus?
I guess it's OK to include the original tune, if it's something not everybody might recognize.

Rant 'n' Roll All Nite!

I want to rant 'n' roll all night,
And complain all day long.

I want to rant 'n' roll night
There must be something wrong.

When the food tastes good
Like you know it should
Then moan about the service.
(Moan about the service)

Subtract a meal, get a free drink
and forget about the tip....

I want to rant 'n' roll all night
And complain all day long
I want to rant 'n' roll all night
There must be something wrong."

(Apologies to Kiss)

We Didn't Start The Lawsuits

"We didn't start the lawsuits
But we love to threaten
Even though we're peasants.
We didn't start the lawsuits
But we love to threaten
And we're quite unpleasant.

Burn my lips or ban my post
Pinch my butt or call me old
Make a spillage with your tea
I'll see you on Court TV
You love me and I love you
But break it up and I will sue...

We didn't start the lawsuits
But we love the way
They sometimes seem to pay
We didn't start the lawsuits
But we love to threaten
Even though we're peasants."

(Apologies to Billy Joel)

Beyond

Brain matter beneath my nails
Fragments of smashed skull
Ripping out entrails
Of victim to the cull

This is no vivisection
I bite into your heart
Beyond disaffection
I'll tear soul apart

I want to taste your pain
Savour it a while
Feel my terror reign
See my evil smile

I'll give you decimation
Erase you from existence
Hear my proclamation
Futile is resistance

I killed Tyler Durden
Killed him really slow
He became a burden
So Tyler had to go

I have become a God
I have gained ascension
Scorched earth where I trod
Im in a new dimension

I charged through the Ninth Gate
Satan bowed before me
Riding on my hate
I would show no mercy

I put Satan to the sword
Burnt out the flames of hell
I now control his hoard
Beyond where mortals dwell.


On a good day.

edit- Most of you make me want to vomit. No offense.

Yesterday

Yesterday
I could light tobacco where I stay
But the fascists took that right away
Oh smoking laws
Came suddenly.

Suddenly
Clean air is a human right
In every room
And even bars at night
But that's really just a joke
When exhaust
Still makes us choke.
Oh smoking laws
Are not tax free ...

I don't know why but aftershave causes asthma.
They must ban it too and decrease eczema.

Yesterday
I smoked a cigarette just where I pleased
Now I can't and feel a bit aggrieved
When it's really such a joke
With all the sugar in your coke.

Oh smoking laws
Came suddenly ...

(Apologies to The Beatles)

I Want To See Me

"I want to see me
I want to see me on my Facebook
And likes for my posts all the time
God knows
God knows I like to see me.

I'm falling in love
I'm falling in love for the first time
And this time I'm falling for me
So let everybody see
God how I love to see me.

It's strange but it's true
My friends just age
Much faster than I do
And it leaves me quite sure
When their looks I endure

I could have been the next hit
Yes, I could be like Brad Pitt!"

(Apologies to Queen)