Any thought or ideas? I need advice

I dont know if this is the proper forum, its kind of a social issue. And this is the only board I belong to where there are knowledgable people.

I am a full time single dad. I get almost no assistance from my ex. I am finding it increasing difficult to make ends meets. I dont like to get assistance from the state and never have, but Im running out of ways to pay everything and stay on top. I make to much to qualify for any type of state aid (about 32k a year) and have no credit card debt or car payment. I pay rent and living expenses and child care. Im lucky to have have an extra $50 at the end of each month. And now I just found out that our insurance at work is going up and I will need to pay $120 a month for mine (I cant afford any for my son and have been paying as I go). I feel like Im sinking fast. Are there any organizations that help? I get a discounted child care rate, but its still $100 a week. I just dont know what to do. My rent is $800 a month and its not a great place but its in a good school district. Here in St. Louis to pay less rent then that will put me in crappy neighborhoods and poor schools, or I would have to get a studio apt.

Any thoughts?

First, take your ex to court for child support (if you are not receiving it) and if she has a job where insurance is affordable and easily accessible... petition the court to have her provide the coverage for your son as well. Females should be handled the same way as males when it comes to things like this.

As for the rest, I hear you. We are struggling to stay afloat as well lately. The cost of living is high and it keeps going up. You can live without cable (if you have it), you can live without a smartphone (if you have it), same goes for internet access, and a landline phone (if you have it and a cell phone). We got rid of most of that ourselves a while back and it did suck. Bad.

A good money saving tip

Make meals that you can eat more than one night on. Some weeks I will buy half of a ham. We will have fried ham, mashed potatoes, rolls, and gravy one night. The next night we might have ham sandwiches. Then I will take what is left and we will have something like bacon, ham, eggs, and biscuits for dinner. So you have bought one main meat that you can eat off of for days. I have learned a lot of work arounds in the last few years.

Check in with your local YMCA too if you have one. Sometimes they provide super low cost after school/childcare programs.

Check your local churches to see if they have child care available. Sometimes they will offer free care for families in need.

You can also check into here... www.famis.org... if your wife can't provide insurance for your son. You can usually qualify for this A LOT easier than you can for food stamps, medicaid, etc.

I hope your situation improves! I wish I could offer more than that. I hope someone can.

reply to post by Kangaruex4Ewe


Unfortunatly my ex doesnt have any money, or a job. she lives with her boyfriend.
I have cut out all the fluff. Only have a cell phone no land line as its cheaper.
I do buy food to make as many meals as I can.

Any relatives nearby that could help with child care?

If you're a member of a church, some of the retired women would probably be glad to help out.

Get your children on Medicaid if possible. That should help with insurance costs. Otherwise, does the school offer insurance? Our school does but only for the school year. Might be an option during school.

Coupons, living social, local sales can help. Maybe consider a food pantry for staples.

Good luck to you. Hugs.

Reducing your rent would be the next best option. I am certain if you overcome your predetermined "good or bad" in a neighborhood and make it good, then you might find the avenue you are looking for.

I saw this ad on Craigslist; what a cute house! $650 for a 3 bdrm, and a nice looking space too!
St Louis Craigslist rental ad

here is another, only a description but it sounds fabulous! $600 a month! There is mention of families, pools, and trampolines (talk about nostalgic Americana) St Louis Craigslist rental ad

Oh, this next one is just too sweet for words! St Louis Craigslist rental ad

I do think your next best option is rent reduction! Goodluck, just look beyond the old and broken and you will see the beauty that is abundantly everywhere!

edit to add: OH wow, look at this house! It is for sale, cost at $25,000 with $800 dn, ez finance since the owner will carry the note! Wow! $475 a month to own it!

reply to post by coop039


If at all possible look at ways to reduce your electric and water. That means no ac during the day and only at night if it becomes unbearable. Turn off all lights when not in use and don't stand with the fridge door open.

Join a Costco or Sam's club and buy your foods in bulk. Pastas, rice, beans, condiments, etc. Learn how to cook several different meals that can freeze.

Been in your situation before and it stinks but learning to frugal helps alot.

Definitely look into seeing what the state has to offer in regards to insurance for your children.

Good luck.

OP, there is always some where you can pinch a few more bucks from - usually a grocery bill. Stuff like soda pop is not a necessity, nor are chips and other such junk items. Maybe you are buying to much convenient food[s]? I'm not sure.... just asking? Somethings can be homemade for a lot less than ready packaged foods providing you have a good set of staples on hand. Are you buying coffee on the way to work, or do you make it at home? Stuff like that matters when you are hurting $.

Good Luck to you, I will keep you in my prayers!

Sounds so hard for you right now, Is there any advice centers there? I know in the UK we have a place called citizens advice?

You need someone in the know who can go through what you are getting and what outgoing costs you have as there may be things like grants ect that you can get or help or money that you are unaware off,

I wish you all the luck and will keep your family in my thoughts and prayer,

Have you thought of other ways to make extra money? Car boot sales. Ebay ect ect,