Am I sick? I spend most of my waking life in my own private fantasies....

Not second life or anything like that.

But I have constructed almost a dozen fantasy lives, where I am a different person, often living in a different culture or even a different civilization.

I have constructed imaginary homes, families, cities, even entire nations and cultures. Some of them on paper, a few of them entirely in my mind. No one else knows about them. My spouse is vaguely aware that I spend lots of time writing, but that I'm not "working on a book" or anything. Most of my notes are in code. Sometimes she gets a bit jealous, but she quickly satisfies herself that I'm not cheating or looking at porn, and then leaves me alone.

I spend moments at work, at the grocery, while watching my daughters' soccer games, or while fishing, in my imaginary worlds. I have conversations, launch careers, run imaginary business, wage war, and make amazing scientific and paranormal discoveries.

I think most people think I'm just a basically boring guy with no huge ambition. I'm an attentive husband and father. But am I wrong? Am I sick?

Some of my secret lives:

-King of a medieval kingdom. I have detailed maps of my state's geography, populations, mineral resources, and defensive structures. I've written out treaties I've made with neighboring states. I have maps of cities I've beseiged in a war that lasted for 3 years.

-seaman on an 19th century sailing ship. Not an officer or anything, just a salt of the meanest rank. While the boss is droning on in the company staff meeting, I'm taking a turn at the capstan, or climbing aloft to man the main yard as we catch the wind.

-Director of Research and Development. My rivals in the marketing department are about to be shamed when we finally go into production with our new product line. They'll rue the day they tried to drum me out of the company! My machinations behind the scenes are about to come to fruition....

-shepherd I spend quiet afternoons at my cubicle staring at my screensavers of pastoral landscapes. I imagine droving my flock across the achingly green pastures of England's west country, or the scottich moors, or through the groves of arcadia.

-18th level wizard with a group of assistants and apprentices in my tower located in the deserted madlands. While normal folk shun my lair in the blasted desert, aspiring magicians seek my tutelage; not least because of my skill at transmuting lead into gold.The nations of the world fear my wrath....

So, can I be sane? Does anyone else have such convoluted flights of fancy? Am I completely normal?

Since you are devoting a significant amount of mental energy to these fantasies, perhaps you could harness them into some more tangible art form.

Clearly, you are very creative. How about writing some stories and trying to get published? Even if it doesn't lead to anything big, you'd still be using your abilities in the real world.

There must be some way you can connect. Long-term detachment through fantasies is probably not good for your psychological and emotional health. But what do I know? I'm not a shrink.

Best of luck and keep dreaming!

Going out on a limb here but if you can put it down on paper maybe you could squeak out a novel or screen play. I'll go over your op again, but at this stage I don't see "Sickness" just a vivid imagination perhaps.

ETA (to In the flesh 1980) I'm watching "in the flesh" as I type this And yes you're saying the same thing basically though your post was hidden to me as I replied.

reply to post by tovenar


With all that going on in your head, maybe you should be writing a book, after all.

reply to post by tovenar


I believe that you are sane unless these habits inhibit your ability to survive or are somehow harmful to others. I am like you, i spend most of my real life in autopilot and the rest in my head (I should write some of the stuff down).

If anything i believe you are making more out of being human than most, your brain is always working out plus you experience things that to your subconscious might as well be reality giving you an advantage of experience over most.

No, you're just bored. Bored of the daily grind of life. IMHO, life is boring sometimes, very tedious and monotonous. I'm sure everyone does it, some to a more or lesser extent.

VS.

Originally posted by CesarO
reply to post by tovenar

 

I believe that you are sane unless these habits inhibit your ability to survive or are somehow harmful to others.

Well, now that you mention it.... I sometimes miss work, because I will stay up late after my family goes to bed, just imagining things, and then going to bed at 4:00 a.m. and oversleeping till I have to call in "sick" to explain my absence.

I am like you, i spend most of my real life in autopilot and the rest in my head (I should write some of the stuff down).

What kind of stuff do you think of?

I think it's great you do that.
It shows you have a very active imagination.

reply to post by tovenar


Ah that sucks, the thing i have to worry about that since school is on a long trip i tend to daydream too much and basically drive all the way in autopilot which is fine as long as nothing drastic happens on the road.

just like you i make up scenarios, i'm running constant simulations in my head stories, interacting with fictional characters in made up worlds thought they always tend to be in very fictional settings, i don't spend much time in things that are close to this life, not intentionally its just what comes out best, and i even attempt to leave characteristics of people i know in real life or just the way they look all together, i guess i find this life a bit bland. I do have my art and it is what i am studying so its a good way to release some of that energy.

I agree with the artistry thing.

Same story for me, only I get most of my fantasy lives from external sources. I get to be an Ohmsford, or Richard Cypher, or Colonel Graff, and once... for a short time... a transgendered cow with a very nice collection of keys.

Wouldn't you imagine that some of our favorite authors with multiples series had the same problem? Middle Earth came from somewhere, you know...

I think more people are doing this more and I think it's because society is slowly pushing out it's citizens from participation. It's too late for a lot of people when they start noticing it. Sadly, they've cemented a large portion of their life at that point.

It just sounds like you're bored with your life. Maybe you should start writing books about it, turn something you do all the time into a physical hobby.

reply to post by Arrowmancer


i would rater be brona or rhal... lol?

do you play pen and paper rpgs like D&D?
if not i would reeeeally recommend you try that.
could serve as an out let for your creative "steam" so to speak.
at any rate, alays remember the wizards first rule.

Originally posted by CesarO

just like you i make up scenarios, i'm running constant simulations in my head stories,...

Yes, that's it exactly.

I mentioned the plots, because I thought it might make this easier to explain to onlookers. But I do a LOT of calculations in my head.

For example, several weeks ago, I was posting in the survival forum about the effects of an EMP caused by a nuclear detonation over the United states. I was calculating, in my head, how high up you'd detonate, say, a 20MT bomb, in order to take out as many cars as possible. The higher the altitude, the greater the area, because you're actually attacking the earth's magnetic field itself.....Anyway, the calculations are a bit abstruse. I spent, like, a week's worth of spare time on that.

I will do a lot of ballistics problems in my head. If you shoot a rifle up at a 45 deg angle, how far will the bullet go before landing, assuming a perfectly level shooting area? And if you shoot due north, how much will the earth have rotated out from under your line of fire while your bullet was in flight? It will be a function of he shooter's latitude.

See, some of the crap doesn't even have a plot, it's just sort of obsessive compulsive crap.

Originally posted by CagliostroTheGreat
do you play pen and paper rpgs like D&D?
if not i would reeeeally recommend you try that.
could serve as an out let for your creative "steam" so to speak.
at any rate, alays remember the wizards first rule.

Years ago I did, but was always asked to be the dungeon-master. I won't say much else, because someone would recognize me.

But yes, I have played tons of solitaire scenarios, of most of the big rpg and tactical games (Terrible Swift Sword, Drang Nach Osten, etc.)

seriously just write a book about a guy who lives in the real world but at the same time he can just switch between these worlds or something.

or he gets caught in a dream that he's not controlling that forces him to face those realities for real?

Originally posted by tovenar

Originally posted by CagliostroTheGreat
do you play pen and paper rpgs like D&D?
if not i would reeeeally recommend you try that.
could serve as an out let for your creative "steam" so to speak.
at any rate, alays remember the wizards first rule.

Years ago I did, but was always asked to be the dungeon-master. I won't say much else, because someone would recognize me.

But yes, I have played tons of solitaire scenarios, of most of the big rpg and tactical games (Terrible Swift Sword, Drang Nach Osten, etc.)

yeah tats what i was thinkin...
i can see why they would want you to DM...
on topic, however, i also run constant sims in my head mostly relating to social and domestic situations...

I used to do this when I was a kid at school - just not so many details.

So either write a book as suggested or find a hobby.

Have you ever researched Isaac Newton's life.

This guy just could not stop. He would investigate everything around him. He filled notebooks with calculations and ideas. I have a book called Isaac Newton by James Gleick. I read it often for inspiration.

To me, it sounds like you are similar. All these ideas running around in your head. Write them down, keep detailed notes, write books and articles, create your own blog and post your ideas.

Above all - have fun with it. Enjoy your experiences, don't question them.