Any advice on how to be less socially awkward?

reply to post by mossme89

-There's this one girl in my group who seems to find fault with much of what I do and what I mentioned above, moreso than others. I'm sitting on my chair wrong, I'm not talking enough, I'm standing up too much, etc. I don't know why, but she has an attitude towards me and doesn't like me. Then again, she has an attitude in general so I'm not sure if it's just me.

oh, she is so that person :-)

the girl (or person) with the magical ability to notice nonconformity and then attack it - because it's easy - and she needs to feel special

develop a sense of self that doesn't allow other people to get to you... Easier said than done - yes - I know

I've had similar issues - including ADHD (oh, yes - I always forget - it's not a real thing... :shk: )

you have problems staying in the here and now - you drift - you stare - you're restless...you can't focus, or you focus so intently you're like a dog with a bone

and you're in a situation where you're surrounded by people who are annoyed by all of that

you are what you are - embrace it - and tell them to go...well, tell them to shut up and tend to their own affairs :-)

it's the best advice I can give you - those people will be whining and complaining about people who don't act the way they believe they should act for the rest of their natural lives - I guarantee it

you are what you are - and I promise you - that is more than good enough

socially awkward people of the world - unite!

Dude, there's plenty of us out there. I think you sound like a stand up guy....no pun intended. You want to perhaps fit in more with the mainstream. Not saying thats not possible, it just requires much effort and as you know, doesn't always work out well. We are forced to stay with our own kind, or people not so closed minded. In the end I find it's quality of the people I choose to hang with....not quantity.

Sounds like a normal school day to me! Seems, like you already know the answer you seek.

This was a sociology class right? Isn't that the study of social behavior? Maybe the other students were just "doing their job?" Maybe you are just doing yours?"

You don't sound that out of the ordinary OP. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Moss: Wow, you just described my personality perfectly! No kidding, everything you wrote is right on the mark. I have a busy day ahead of me, but I'll come back and share some of the insights I've gotten over the years (I'm nearly 60).
No worries: I have been blessed with a happy life, mainly because I learned early in life how to use the good aspects of ADD, and also how to tone down the bad aspects of ADD.
Check your library or Amazon.com for a book by Thom Hartmann called "Attention Deficit Disorder: A Different Perception". It changed my life. One disclaimer: I don't agree with his idea that ADD is based in evolution, but otherwise the rest of his concepts fit well into my worldview.

Originally posted by NoClue206
1 - pick up your favorite beer
2 - drink said beer*
3 - go into any public place
4 - talk to random people, you never have to see them again anyway

* - repeat this step when needed

Sorry to say it but this... x10

reply to post by mossme89


Just tape yourself when interacting with others, it will give you a new perspective.

Originally posted by mossme89

My biggest issues come in my sociology class, which I refer to as my "shady" class, because there's a lot of shady looking people in there and types I wouldn't otherwise affiliate myself with. I don't know why because I'm always nice to them, and my opinions of the class don't change how i treat them, but they seem to find a lot of issues with many of the things I say or my mannerisms and are very quick to judge.

No offense, but it seems like you are coming into this class with a lot of judgements of your own. If you foster some negative opinion of a person or a particular group of people, most of the time they can tell. You may not realize this but people are picking up on your non-verbal language.

So my advice would be, leave your expectations at the door. Walk in class with a fresh mind, try to go with the flow. If somebody has a problem with something you do, try to compromise.. it's only one class. I'm not saying let people walk all over you, just to try and chill don't let it get you worked up. I used to get into a lot of trouble when I was a teenager and my Dad would tell me to try and let what people say be like the water on a duck's back, just let it roll off.. don't lose your cool, be laid back.. girls dig that more anyway despite what you might think.

I have ADHD also and I'm off the meds for 3 years now. It's possible to control. You have to learn to concentrate, you can practice by looking at something and trying to pick out all the details.. as in every detail you can, even the most minute. Or in class think about what the teacher's saying and try and rephrase it in your head or better yet in your notebook while you take notes, this will guarantee that you remember it and will make class a little more interesting as well.

If you're a funny guy, then crack some jokes (at the appropriate time) everybody likes someone that can make them laugh, just don't make jokes at someone else's expense.

About what the teacher was saying about you staring at her, try not to do that. You know she doesn't like it so now that you are conscious of it don't let it happen, nobody likes being stared at because it makes us feel uncomfortable. You probly got her thinkin' she's got a booger in her nose or something lol. Above all don't be so uptight, just chill like I said and you'll be fine bro.

Don't worry about them,chill out,go to the gym,live your life.
Find people like yourself(there are lots of us)and don't talk to negative people.
Worked for me.

smoke a bowl and don't get paranoid. this works for me.

reply to post by mossme89


The solution to this problem is very simple. Stop caring what other people think about you. Statistically, 80% or so of people are just plain stupid, with no critical thinking ability whatsoever. Do you think that the opinions of idiots have any merit? In my opinion, most people like those you described only excell at filling up empty silence. Just be true to yourself, dude. What anyone else thinks is a very distant second to what you think about you. Just remember. If anyone accosts you about the way you act normally, they are an idiot, and are not worth your time. That's the way I see it.

Well you could say screw you guys I'm going home... They sound like a bunch of jerks anyway.

reply to post by mossme89
You could have a touch of Asperger's syndrome along with your ADHD. Research AS online and see if you recognize the symptoms.

ADD (not ADHD) is a gift. use it wisely. anyone who tells you it is a deficiet lacks an understanding of how much more powerful, quick, and creative your mind is in comparison to the rest of society. again find ways to harnass it, use it, and make it work within the unforutunate cultural/social confines this society expects of us.

also like another user posted you do not sound like ADD is the problem you sound like a clear case of Asperger's syndrome to me. Everyone blames ADD, Asperger's syndrome = social problem. Most people with ADD are social extroverts, most people with Asperger's syndrome are social introverts and have trouble integrating with social norms.

If anyone is telling you to shelter in place...well they fail...as do most of these posts.

You are suffering from a bad case of guts....you are not comfortable and you are letting folks tell you how it should feel...BS bud..BS...if you listen to any of this 'fail talk" then...well...you suck bad...

Be the man, do not let people tell you what feels good....you know what feels good....

Just own the area around yourself....do not let folks tell you what is right and wrong....we already know this and they like to use it to try and bend you...but they suck and we.....the citizen...win....get ready for ugly though.....

Originally posted by Yatrsiri
reply to post by mossme89

 

You could have a touch of Asperger's syndrome along with your ADHD. Research AS online and see if you recognize the symptoms.

I already said that we looked into it in the past and I don't have it. -___- This is coming from doctors.

The same way children learn. Observation and mimicry. Put yourself into social situations that are large enough you can be overlooked while not standing out as an observer. Watch and listen. Experiment in a number of small groups amidst the large group. Note behavior on the small groups participants to check your results. Positive feedback or negative feedback. Modify your behavior accordingly. You will begin to feel more comfortable when you are getting more consistent positive feedback until you are comfortable and look forward to such situations. Think of yourself as infiltrating another culture with different mores and social habits you must learn to survive and fit in for a long term

When I have to speak to large groups of people I get nervous. I find it helps to picture everybody naked and that usually makes me chuckle long enough to forget any nervousness and anxiety.

This should be taken lightly but have you considered you may have asperger syndrome? I have a friend who has it and he reminds me of you.

Oh, it has already been brought up lol.
Didn't mean to offend you buddy.