A shorts story

Mods, please feel free to put into the appropriate forum as I felt it could have been in military, social issues, predictions or general conspiracies. Maybe it should be put into ALL of them?...

Today, I decided to present to you the shorts history in a brief and insightful résumé.

At the beginning, people were naked, so we will skip over that period and also skip the togas, robes and kilts period of human's dressing.

Breeches

Well, the name sums it up pretty good. It was a clothing from the waist to the knees, an sometimes to the ankles, with separate coverings for each legs. Breeches is a double plural word(s?) that covers separately its own definition.
For those having problems to image words, I added a picture. ( I have to admit I couldn't find any photography of breeches prior to the modern one you will see. I didn't look hard for it, I'll confess, but it could be a military conspiracy, more on it later, as in a few more words later... )



Knickerbockers

Then we were blessed with the sensuality of knickerbockers... If you have been alive in the last ten years and more, you might have heard of an actor named Johnny Depp who played a pirate in popular movie whose story is based in the Caribbeans.
Why do you believe Mr. Depp wants to play again and again the role of that pirate? Because of the millions? The Fame? Nope. It's all knickerbockers doing...

Just look at Johnny go...



Well... Obviously, he's not going anywhere, and we don't see his knickerbockers, BUT, he's with Penelope Cruz!!! The next images ARE knickerbockers, though...





Eh! What did I tell you about the knickerbockers's sensuality...? This one is made of beige velvet. What more could a man want? Oh, they were also the trends of golfers...

Knee Pants

No, sillies! These are not pants for the knees, these are almost shorts for the legs!



Yet, despite being classy, they were also boring. Look... the pic is in black in white... I mean, come on!

Next, please! And the last, by the way!

Bermuda Shorts

Just like you did at the moment, when I fell on this piece of information, about the Bermuda Shorts, I thought; "Could they be proof of an alternate reality?" From what seems evident, er, no, the Bermuda Triangle has nothing to do with its sudden apparition in the lives of humans.
It is the Military of the British Empire that did!

I told you there was a conspiracy beneath it all! Shorts came from the country where resides interdimensional reptilians! Why the Bermuda connection, then?
Soldiers posted there were sweating so much from the heat that they began cutting there... what was the name for pants, then?...
Anyway, the British Military decided to issue "standard issue" Bermuda Shorts for the military personnel posted in hot, sweaty countries.
Here is a leaked photograph of what is not necessarily considered to be the first pictured Military BS.



Alas, as for every military technology, civilians ended up doing the same, presumably for the same reasons.
Today, there is a Fashion Conspiracy that took the relay, forcing us to look constantly for new kinds of shorts, in this true fake Global Warming of the globe. The one positive aspect of this technology; it helps to feel somewhat refreshed, but adversely also exposes a lot more skin to the sun.

Following are examples of civilian shorts, now also wore by women. ( After make-up, robes, and wigs, they also had to take this from men!... )
Ballon Shorts


Mohair Shorts


( It looks like my bathroom carpet! )

Tight Shorts


Circuit Board Shorts ( Civilians!!! )


Boys Shorts ( It may be me, but I fail to see the boy here... )


To be fair to everyone, here's one for the ladies...


...and another one for pigs... er, men...



As a last note, it seems there is a strange habit that has taken roots in the USA, at first, then worldwide, for the last 25 years. That of eating shorts, can you believe that?...

For the faint of heart, I've hidden the identity of the person in the next picture. I've posted it a bit further down so you can opt out of watching it... You were warned...






















Now you have no excuse for ignoring the shorts story.

I fail to see where this should be anywhere on this website. Seems you have done some research and should contact the History Channel for running a show on the History of pants or something. I cant for the life of me see how this portrays to anything here,, but I could be wrong,, maybe pants and underwear fashions have been influenced upon us by aliens or sunspots and we never knew!

reply to post by gimpy327


Well, if you look in what forum it is posted, you will understand.
ATS is not only for conspiracy theories... Shocking!