You don't know until you try.
I also think its possible to get the "theme" without the entirety.. the details take scientific and intuitive efforts I would assume.
But I consider something like say.. the golden ratio in nature, what things could represent as a symbolic concept etc.. I look at my hand and I see a
humanly perception of my hand, I don't see the cells, the atoms and what could be infinitely smaller. But there are implications of an infinite
nature, which to me tells me the entirety can never be grasped but you can expand that understanding and experience. I just see the paradox as the
entirety. So even though I can't see all the details, and everything I'm told about science or spirituality that I have not observed, and even then
if I were to observe them, I am looking through with a biased view and limited understanding etc etc... but all that out of the picture I think the
basic theme is there, a theory to build the framework of that understanding.
I just take it a day at a time as it feels important. There are endless things I want to know but none of them I feel I can know for sure. So in that
sense I also attribute knowing as it pertains to it somehow being used. There is usually a feeling attached to it.
I lived the past few years of my life in a very philosophical light but I found what I was looking for and I'm rather happy to be doing the mundane
physical things now. I guess I realized that even in my ignorance of it all that there was still something inside me that I could trust, that it was
the root of all questions, some sense of fulfilment, call it karma, your life's lessons / work. That live in the moment # makes sense because sooner
or later you realize it's all you got to work with, don't let the past drag you into the present so that you are never fully focused in the present,
and don't let expectations of the future drive you insane.
I'll say this man. You don't know until you try. I never thought it was possible either. The poor bastards that listen to me now, I don't think
they realize that I still don't know #.
Everyone and everything seems to understand peace and good will as being beneficial, so that is what I
share now. I for the most part keep my mouth shut.
But through my efforts to try and understand, I have changed so much and continue to. I look back and see needless struggle. I wouldn't have it any
other way. I really wouldn't. It's hard to believe. It's harder to believe what I was rather then I've become, because I understand what I've
become, which is why I became it.
Try to understand, but approach it from an angle of how it pertains to YOU.. I mean understand how the universe and everything fits in it, but try and
understand its usefullness to you as it feels required right now, and I think you'll find piece by piece what you are looking for.
The fool in his ego thinks he is wise, while the wise one knows he himself is a fool. Understanding comes but I guess it always has a bias, a limited
perspective, and thus how can we ever know anything with full accuracy when the full picture isn't there to begin with? Should we even try? Well
we're doing that right now so the question seems irrelevant, as long as we are with our curiosity and desire for understanding.
Once again, it seems at least to me that i'm stuck like this for now.. and that my understanding of myself reflects my understanding of the world and
vice versa, and all I can do right now is take it a step at a time in the direction that feels right.
I don't place too much severity on it. I just live in a way that feels the most fulfilling.
peace.