What am I ? Normal or something else?

Does anyone feel as I do?
I often have to really concentrate to believe I am really here, in the now..
Even as I type these words I'm uncertain where my real self is.

Who else drives down a road and has to question if they are really there?
My question is, where am I if not in this world..

I have always been considered different by those around me..
Smarter than the rest..Fearless to the point of being taken to a psychologists at an early age because my mother considered me suicidal..The psychologists concluded the fearless part, not me..And he did mention he wished he was the same..

So what am I? I find it hard to believe I am here..
I worry little about pain or death..Only other peoples problems bother me, not mine..

I could say many more things about myself and will do for like minded members in u2u's..

I'm not exactly sure what you want any of us to say....I mean i doubt any of us know you in real life so to ask us 'What are you?' is a little vague.

Why don't you talk to your family again and close friends and see how they see you as a person and you can make up your own mind on 'what you are'.

It's you're life, be whoever you want to be and be happy.

There's nothing anyone else can really say i think

Take care

The fact is, we dont really know if were here or not, or what we really are. what if we are the only creation that really exists (we are god) and everything else around is imagined by us? Or what if being alive in this body is actually to be asleep and we awake when we die? It still amazes me that i was able to create and grow another human being from my body, that someone else lived inside me once.The more i think about my existance the more confused i become.

reply to post by Traydor

Dont take my post wrong..I've had a good life..
I just wonder if other people are like me and often have to think themselves into reality..
If you don't know what I mean then you probably haven't experienced it..
I guess I'm asking who else has...

reply to post by backinblack


Ok then, i just wanted to say something encouraging just in case

reply to post by thedoctorswife


It's a strange feeling..I often think am I here or not..If not, where am I ?
I concentrate hard but still find it hard to believe I am in the now sometimes...
Hmm, I must be nuts

Originally posted by Traydor
reply to post by backinblack

 

Ok then, i just wanted to say something encouraging just in case

And I really thank you for that
Like I said, I've had a great life so there's no problem there..
I've done well for myself but there's something missing I can't explain..
A sense of being is all I can say, that isn't always there..

It sounds to me like you are a latent Psychic/Sensitive. Often people who are Sensitive to spirit often feel the way you are describing. It can be a result of Spirit being constantly around you in an attempt to communicate with you.

Originally posted by Tarotmaster
It sounds to me like you are a latent Psychic/Sensitive. Often people who are Sensitive to spirit often feel the way you are describing. It can be a result of Spirit being constantly around you in an attempt to communicate with you.

Funny you say that..My mother was into the clairvoyant scene and won a contest for a reading with Doris Stokes. Doris met my mother and asked that I come for another free reading because she felt I was a powerfull being in my mothers life...Kinda wierd and I didn't do it..

Originally posted by Tarotmaster
It sounds to me like you are a latent Psychic/Sensitive. Often people who are Sensitive to spirit often feel the way you are describing. It can be a result of Spirit being constantly around you in an attempt to communicate with you.

I really agree with this. It has been said that a sensitive human beings consciousness is like a radio antenna, picking up all kinds of things at the same time. Then when you add emotions it becomes more confusing. Meditation might be very good for you. It calms the mind and Spirit. Learning about the Buddist concept of "be-ing" is something you might check into. It allows you to be centered and be a fantastic observer. I am a Christian and don't see Buddism as a religion, but as a system that allows you to use your consciousness to become a more highly evolved human being.

You say you went to a psychologist. Did you see a psychiatrist as well? I think it's the psychiatrists who can make an evaluation of whether or not your brain chemistry is in balance. Some medications or illnesses can also make you feel disengaged. I had endocrine imbalances after the birth of my daughter and ended up feeling as you describe. I still suffer from seasonal depression when the light levels drop and can slide into that detached feeling. Otherwise my physician who keeps tabs on me pronounces me normal and healthy. You certainly sound lucid and rational enough yourself but perhaps you have mild depression or just need to find some way to connect with your environment, perhaps through charity work or something else you can feel truly engaging your abilities and interests.

Or maybe you're just pondering the nature of existence. My daughter did this when she was only three. She still declares this reality is but an illusion and that we truly exist somewhere else and she is still only six. If a small child can feel that way, perhaps there's something to this notion since children seem to be intuitive until we more or less beat some logic into them. Okay I think I'll quit for now because I realize my post sounds like Lucy trying to psychoanalyze Charlie Brown in the Peanuts cartoon. just take care of yourself and realize that whatever the case may be, illusion or not, this life is a precious gift and an opportunity and you are a unique and irreplaceable person. Make the most of who you are and what you've got. I wish you peace and blessings as you work it all out!

reply to post by deadred


I have tried to meditate but I trully do not have the patience to do it..
I'm also hyperactice, I can't sunbake or sit in a spa, gets too boring for me..

reply to post by SheeplFlavoredAgain


I think your daughter is gifted to see reality or lack there of at such a young age..
But as I've stated, my life has been for the most part good..I have done better that most so there are no complaints, just questions of where and what am I...
Your daughter sounds like what I feel sometimes..Outside reality trying to get a grasp back..
Very hard to explain if you've never felt it...But I promise, it doesn't hurt..

reply to post by backinblack
Whats driving me crazy at the moment and well, its actually frightening the hell out of me, is the speed at which time seems to be moving for me. I know its meant to speed up as you get older, but im just 40, years seem like months, months like weeks etc. I know its probably just in my head but it feels very real to me.
By the way, i remember Doris Stokes, she was pretty good wasnt she?

reply to post by thedoctorswife


I haven't noticed any speed up in time..It always seems to fly when you look back.
I suppose time is different for everyone..
Doris Stokes was supposed to be good, she was very popular but I don't know.
She did my mothers reading pretty well but they always say things that are vague so you twist the truth to fit their words..
I'm actually not a big believer in that sort of thing..

um sounds to me like you are concious of being concious and when you aren't concious you feel you aren't fully yourself. You are always watching yourself rather than being yourself.

Most people, live the majority of their life unconcious and strive to become more concious. It seems like you are concious but as a normal human being who is incapable of being concious 24 hours a day, you drift off into normal life and feel disapointed when this has happened.

Id say to you, this is normal. Im pretty concious... certainly more so than friends and family. I remember having an ephiphany when i was about 6... staring at my own skin and asking... is this really me?: is this all i am? can i never be anyone else? Im still like that at 30 lol. I now just relish when I am in the present moment and don't beat myself up when I did forget for a hour or so that I am here. I enjoy my work most and thats because I get carried away with it and lose track of self and time. If thats so enjoyable to my soul I dont think theres anything wrong with not being present every moment. So dont beat yaself up, just make sure your life is full of things that you do enjoy so, here or not, you are at least making the most of your time here

reply to post by Treacherous


Thanks for the input..I had to read it 3 times to get the meaning.
Sounds like a good theory though I must stress I am not complaining, I am not depressed.sad or lonely.
We are all individuals and I just wondered if everyone felt the same type of dissconection that I do.

reply to post by thedoctorswife

I know its probably just in my head but it feels very real to me.

I think you should ask your husband about this.

Becker

reply to post by backinblack




Ahaha hun, hope it wasnt my mispelling of concious... for someone so concious... i sure as hell can't spell it

I get that from you that you arent complaining. You just want reassurance you aren't ... abnormal? Well you might be compared to others cos most people are quite happy and unaware theyre in the 'matrix'. for want of a better phrase.

I completely understand what you are saying. I just think that you are like uber-concious. (here i go again) You are concious of being concious. Which is why you feel you arent really here. But by always being aware, you are probably more here than the rest of us. Ugh, ive done me own head in now. :p Nowt wrong with you is all I'm saying.

reply to post by Treacherous


lol, good to see the topic confuses you as much as it does me.
I wasn't going to bring up the matrix concept but sometimes that's what it feels like.
I'm not talking about being taken over by machines, just the dissconect of mind and body..
I am heartened that others have a similar feeling though..
I guess smarter people than me have considered the same and still have no answer..