a friend is getting breast augmentation.

she approached me today with this.
my first thought and question to her besides why was, what would god think?
she's a devout christian, and when we got into the question of why isn't she happy with the body god gave her
she really started getting flustered and couldn't come up with logical answers.
i feel bad about upsetting her, yet on the other hand, i think it's ok because it made her think about the fact that she is doing it pretty much for reasons of vanity.
i have no doubt that we all have parts of our bodies we are not perfectly happy about, but would you want to change them?
the conversation went from there to what is the point that god would get upset with us as far as prolonging life.
do you think he gave us a strict time on earth? should we be doing things like life support and organ transplants etc.....
where does religion come to play in all this?
is a boob job so minor that it makes it ok?

reply to post by rubbertramp


I have to wonder why you would approach your friend's personal decision in such a way? It seems to me that all you have done is put your disapproval of her decision into the mix. Asking her what God would do, is not seeking explanation of why she would truly want to do this for herself, but rather putting your disapproval onto her via passive-aggressively using God to cover for yourself. Poor taste. Ask yourself, is that the actions of a real friend?

As long as she's not hurting anyone what's the problem?

I think it's great that she's trying to boost her confidence and self-esteem.
And please supply us with before and after pictures so we can comment.

reply to post by rubbertramp


I want one. After two kids my boobs aren't what they used to be.
What's wrong with wanting to be happy with how your body looks?
I think God wants us to be happy. I can see where you're going with the whole mutilating the body thing, but what about women who lose their breasts to cancer? They get augmentation. Is it okay for them?
I think if your friend wants the boobs, and can afford the boobs, you should support her. Or else, what kind of judgmental friend are you?

reply to post by Whimsical


Well actually it kind of is the question a good friend would ask. If she never stopped to consider what God would think about it she would never really know whether she did it for her glory or his. I personally do not think God would have an issue with it, if it was something she really wanted to do, but it all comes down to self image really. And what happens if she has the surgery and finds it did nothing to improve her self image at all what if she decides that now that she has had that done she is now unhappy with her nose?

When contemplating these kinds of decisions it is very important to fully understand why you want to have it done in the first place. If you do it for the wrong reasons there will always be something else after having it done leaves you unsatisfied. We live in a world that says if you are unhappy with yourself get this done if your still unhappy get that done you can't possibly be okay with who and how you are. It is a trap and one that once you climb in isn't quite so easy to get out of.

He may of hurt her feelings but hopefully she will take a bit more time to consider if it is something she should do, and that it isn't just a symptom of something else.

reply to post by Whimsical


well, i figure it was ok since half the conversations she approaches me with are related to god issues.
i always give her time and my opinion on these issues and was quite surprised that she really hadn't look at it in this way.
i thought i was just bringing up an issue she already contemplated.

reply to post by christine76

whole mutilating the body thing

this isn't the issue, mutilating is not my opinion at all.
my question is why can't we just be happy with the body god gave us?
why change it?
if we get ill at a young age, is this not gods will?
if i think my penis too small, does this mean i'm not satisfied with what god gave me?

Originally posted by grey580
As long as she's not hurting anyone what's the problem?

I think it's great that she's trying to boost her confidence and self-esteem.
And please supply us with before and after pictures so we can comment.

sorry, no can do, but she did say i can touch them afterwords.

reply to post by rubbertramp


I see. I misunderstood what you were originally saying, I think. Of course, this is major surgery and someone should consider very carefully whether it is worth it to go through with and those considerations should be from all angles including physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It is not something to undergo without first some serious questions and answers to one's self.

reply to post by rubbertramp


We must live vicariously through you.
please provide us with an in depth description.

sorry, no can do, but she did say i can touch them afterwords.

Dude, if you think this conversation was about God's will, then the situation is hopeless.

You were obliquely asked whether you had a perosnal opinion about her, as a woman, as opposed to, say, a sister in Christ.

The correct answer was "Your breasts are beautiful just the way they are." Nothing more, nothing less, nothing else.

Feel free to U2U me when she asks whether some dress or pair of jeans makes her look fat. All I ask in return is that you name the first male child after me.

Originally posted by eight bits

sorry, no can do, but she did say i can touch them afterwords.

Dude, if you think this conversation was about God's will, then the situation is hopeless.

You were obliquely asked whether you had a perosnal opinion about her, as a woman, as opposed to, say, a sister in Christ.

The correct answer was "Your breasts are beautiful just the way they are." Nothing more, nothing less, nothing else.

Feel free to U2U me when she asks whether some dress or pair of jeans makes her look fat. All I ask in return is that you name the first male child after me.

no, this was the comment.

And please supply us with before and after pictures so we can comment.

and this was my response.

sorry, no can do, but she did say i can touch them afterwords.

and she knows i think she is a beautiful woman, she truly is.
we've been friends for 15 years, we met and dated for a while, which didn't really work out, and have been buddies ever since.
besides, her butt makes up for her lack of smallish breasts.
truth be told, she has been having a rough time as of late due to some personal issues and i'n afraid this is something she wants to do now and may regret later.

i have another lady friend that did the exact opposite, she had a reduction, and it wasn't due to vanity at all, it was due to the weight causing major problems with her back.

is one more right than the other in the eyes of god?

as opposed to, say, a sister in Christ.

i'm a jew by birth, and by religion, really not sure what i am.

besides, her butt makes up for her lack of smallish breasts.

My friend, I am not the one who needs to hear that.

Except the correct line is that her shapely butt complements her perfect breasts.

i'm a jew by birth, and by religion, really not sure what i am.

Sorry. I did hedge may comment, and I didn't mean to presume about your religion, but did want to get on to the main point, that this really isn't about religion.

I also didn't mean to dismiss that there are valid religious questions here. But to everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose. Your personal conversation is about your personal relationship, not about the abstract rectitude of cosmetic surgery.

If it matters, I am a libertarian, bred in the bone. It's her body, she does whatever she wants. But since unlike me, you are her longtime friend, it is perfectly fine for you to treat this conversation for what it is, instead of what it might appear to be at the surface.

we met and dated for a while, which didn't really work out,

You may consider that decision as being revisited.