Hypothetical: If Jesus and Buddha met each other

Originally posted by sphinx551
What do you think would happen? What would they say to each other? Do you think they would go their own separate ways or combine as a team?

Zen Master :

"If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him .............. Jesus!"

Originally posted by sphinx551

Do you think they would go their own separate ways or combine as a team?

I think they would become Super Best Friends !

High five low five then sit and give each other their presence. What would you do if you met yourself?

Mirror mirror on the wall, whos the most righteous of them all?

Jesus to Buddha "Hey Buddhy"

Buddha "Hey Zeus"

Jesus "Let's team up!"

Buddha "But violence is bad"

Jesus "What you never had a crusade?"

There is no reason to suppose that Buddhism had no influence in ancient Israel. Siddhartha Gautama lived in India almost 600 years before Jesus was born.
For 3000 years Traders traveled along the ancient trade route known as the Silk Road - that stretched from Far east China to Europe. Jerusalem was a major hub along the route.
Is it possible that the people in Israel at that time had been exposed to stories of the Buddha? I think it would be impossible for them not to have heard something of him.

So I believe that they had met in a sense. In comparing the Old testament ideas with the New, a not so subtle change occurs. Some of it sounds down right Buddhist, some sounds like traditional Judaism, and some have the tang of Zoroastrianism. There is a mix and this mix continues after the earliest gospels as new ideas creep into the new religion.

Well, there are two interpretations of who Jesus was, so two reenactments are in order, eh?

Scenario one: Jesus as God

Jesus: Hey, Buddha.

Buddha: Hi Jesus! Would you like some enlightenment?

Jesus: Enlightenment? I'm the creator of heaven and Earth!

Buddha: Come on, everyone can use a little introspection sometimes! Learn to be at one with the world around you!

Jesus: Are you kidding me? I AM enlightenment! I created it all! At one with the world? I MADE the bloody world! You, the Crab Nebula, Hot Pockets, Nipsy Nussell...

Titen-Sxull from ATS: Chesty Morgan? Ruth Bader Ginsberg?

Jesus: EVERYTHING! Enlightenment? Sheesh, I'm all knowing, all powerful and ever present! I'm outside of time, so I know everything that is, ever was, or ever will be!

Buddha: Cool! (pauses) Can you tell me where I left my keys?


Scenario two: Jesus as "good teacher"

Jesus: 'Sup, Buddha.

Buddha: Hi Jesus! Sorry about you getting killed an all.

Jesus: Yeah, never saw that coming, lol

Buddha: Well, you sure should have! A good teacher should have known that telling the Jews you were God was a pretty big no-no!

Jesus: Cha.

Buddha: Now that I think about it, lying about who you were kinda makes you not such a good teacher.

Jesus: Hey, can I have some of your fries? I haven't eaten since Thursday.

Originally posted by Smack
In comparing the Old testament ideas with the New, a not so subtle change occurs.

In the words of Lewis Black, the God of the Old Testament was a prick. In the New Testament, he clearly mellowed out. Having children of your own sometimes has this effect

But honestly, having practiced some of both, I can say there is less in common between Christianity and Buddhism (other than basic mores) than meets the eye. Just read the Heart Sutra and compare to any passage in the Bible.

reply to post by buddhasystem

In the words of Lewis Black, the God of the Old Testament was a prick. In the New Testament, he clearly mellowed out. Having children of your own sometimes has this effect

Too funny. Lewis Black is a funny man.

Just read the Heart Sutra and compare to any passage in the Bible.

Yes, I agree. It seems that they are just mellower back east. The middle east has always been a seething pot of unpleasantness.

My version:

Buddha: How is India for you?
Jesus: Enlightening
Buddha: How so?
Jesus: Learned so much there about spirituality
Buddha: I will go to India with you.
Jesus: Why not?
Buddha: We will both learn from each other.
Jesus: Sure will.
Buddha: What do you think of humans on Earth?
Jesus: Catholic Church distorted my true message and teachings and mis-used me to control other humans. What do you think of humans on Earth?
Buddha: No opinion.
Jesus: Alright, let's levitate to India.
Buddha: Right there with you.

Buddha~ Hello Jesus.

Jesus: Hello Siddhartha

Buddha~ You know my birth was 'prophesied' and I am of 'royal blood'?

Jesus: Hey, Me to!

Buddha~ My mother was a virgin and my birth was a heaven sent 'miracle'.

Jesus: Whoah, Same here, Sidd!

Buddha~ I was born while my mom was on a long journey,
and during that time, there was unusual astronomical activity, and I was celebrated by celestial beings from the heavens. "wise men' also came from afar to bring me spectacular gifts , and even when I was young, I was wise beyond my years.

Jesus: What!?! You pullin my leg Sidd? The same goes for me, i kid you not!
Buddha~ For real J? Say 'word'?...

Jesus: Word!

Buddha~ One time I walked on water, and I even helped one of my good buddies do it also, All he needed was faith in me, and he was able to do it!

Jesus: Damn! I can walk on water to! I also showed one of my friends how to do it, he just had to trust me. !

Buddha~ Man, we are good!

Jesus: Definitely!

Buddha~ How about food; You ever multiply food to be able to feed everyone?

Jesus: Yup! and check this out, I can even heal blind people with energy from my own body~ Then they can see like new again!

Buddha~ Haha, me too man, Me too! I think we are like, exact twins from different times in space.. er something.

Jesus: Yeah, how else you explain it?

Buddha~ Ok, ok, Let's see what else we have in common,
You ever ask of a 'ritually unclean' woman for a drink of water at a well?
and then forgive and redeem a thief?

Jesus: Sure have!

Buddha, I even had a disciple who plotted to kill me, you?

Jesus: You now it, brotha.

Buddha~ I dont know man, Do we even have to go any further to know that we are like... the same exact dudes!

Jesus~ I don't think so, let's just agree to agree.
Who is that walking down the path?

Buddha~ I don't know,Let us find out, .....
Hello Strangers! Come, Sit with us!
What are your names?

New guys ~ Hello gentlemen, My name is Mithra, *and I am Horus*,
We just met down the path awhile ago, and learned that we have some amazing things in common!

Buddha and Jesus~ Wow! What a day! The same thing just happened to the both of us awhile ago!
Maybe the 4 of us should hang out for awhile and see if any more strange similarities come up.

Buddha ~ So Mithra, So Horus, Both Myself, and Jesus were born of a Virgin woman! Isnt that amazing!?!?

Horus and Mithra~ Uhmm... Well, Not really, We just learned that the two of us, were also both born of a Virgin.
And Horus even walked on water!

Buddha and Jesus~ Hey, We both can walk on water to! we were just talking about this!

Buddha, Jesus, Horus, Mithra~ Ok, this isnt finny anymore.....
Where is the hidden camera?
This has got to be a joke!

lol

Jesus: Love you neighbor

Buddha: One

LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!





Sorry I couldn't find one in English but, fighting IS the universal language after all. At least that's what the US State Department says...


Edit to add:

reply to post by Ahmose



Dang, I'll bet one of those guys has excellent grounds for a plagiarism lawsuit.




[edit on 8/9/10 by FortAnthem]

If Jesus were in a physical form, then Buddha would not even acknowledge his existence to be able to talk to him, as kind of the whole point of Buddhism is to transcend all physical reality and be at one with "the void" of the Universe. Reaching a state on no mind and no self

I can only talk for zen Buddhism as thats the only kind I have studied at all, but as far as I recall Buddha acknowledged that there are gods, but said that they are not important as they are still a part of the cycle of life and thus not important to someone that is trying to transcend that cycle.

reply to post by FortAnthem

 

Dang, I'll bet one of those guys has excellent grounds for a plagiarism lawsuit.

Yeah,
and it's all 'true'. lol



How anyone can even argue christianity after learning that several "individuals" all have very close to the exact same stories written about them,
long before Jesus ever 'walked the earth',
is beyond me. lol

Originally posted by Ahmose
How anyone can even argue christianity after learning that several "individuals" all have very close to the exact same stories written about them,
long before Jesus ever 'walked the earth',
is beyond me. lol

Yeah, especially after the success of all those other "individuals". Sure was a good indicator of Christianity's poor prospects and dismal future!

Hmmm. Sorry, I guess that's more of a case FOR Christ really having been God, isn't it?

Originally posted by adjensen

Originally posted by Ahmose
How anyone can even argue christianity after learning that several "individuals" all have very close to the exact same stories written about them,
long before Jesus ever 'walked the earth',
is beyond me. lol

Yeah, especially after the success of all those other "individuals". Sure was a good indicator of Christianity's poor prospects and dismal future!

Hmmm. Sorry, I guess that's more of a case FOR Christ really having been God, isn't it?

lol, I dunno,
But Christ was just just like Us,
only he realized more than most of us at this time realize.

God? I guess one could say that,
I mean, we are all God, So yeah... lol .

Originally posted by davespanners
If Jesus were in a physical form, then Buddha would not even acknowledge his existence to be able to talk to him

This is utter BS. In his lifetime, Buddha Gautama talked to plenty of lay people and monks and as we all know, Buddha nature is present in every human being and every grain of sand. Why would Buddha ignore a man, never mind a sage?

Besides, even the physical form of Jesus is negotiable.

His transfiguration, for example, was quite radical and out of this world. Not quite material stuff, don't you think?

I could argue that Jesus is in fact a misunderstood reincarnation of Buddha (seen through a very thick prism of Judaism), but that's material for another thread.

Originally posted by buddhasystem


I could argue that Jesus is in fact a misunderstood reincarnation of Buddha (seen through a very thick prism of Judaism), but that's material for another thread.

I heard that Jesus was a Pleiadean Star Being and had two souls.
2nd line.

[edit on 10-8-2010 by sphinx551]

Originally posted by undo
reply to post by Phage

 

that was a joke too.

oh my gosh. i thought the thread seemed like a lighthearted approach to all that is wise and wisdom. i was just being a smart alec

this is hilarious and it's probably exactly what buddha and jesus would do if they met-
disagree about agreeing.

Originally posted by buddhasystem

Originally posted by davespanners
If Jesus were in a physical form, then Buddha would not even acknowledge his existence to be able to talk to him

This is utter BS. In his lifetime, Buddha Gautama talked to plenty of lay people and monks and as we all know, Buddha nature is present in every human being and every grain of sand. Why would Buddha ignore a man, never mind a sage?

Besides, even the physical form of Jesus is negotiable.

His transfiguration, for example, was quite radical and out of this world. Not quite material stuff, don't you think?

I could argue that Jesus is in fact a misunderstood reincarnation of Buddha (seen through a very thick prism of Judaism), but that's material for another thread.

according to both buddhism AND christianity (im pretty sure) they are together right now in heaven, a temporary one if buddhist and a very crowded one if you're a christian..................


also - didn't jesus admit to being the reincarnation of both moses and elijah? now if that isn't buddhism its......well, hinduism
and i'd agree they are the same and so are we- jesus and buddha, not buddhism and hinduism. those are quite different.

thich naht hahn wrote a book about this subject i believe

and also- sand does not have buddha nature (according to the buddha) only humans. "does a dog have buddha nature? mu" is number one koan (zen buddhism)
the buddha talked about sentient beings, but that isn't the same as buddha nature

[edit on 10-8-2010 by IandEye]