Society today? Resident invites neighbours for coffee - one arrives.

Google translation...

While it may not be surprising, I'd say it is kinda reflecting. I have basically quit to greet my neighbours as I receive such looks that: "What, are you crazy?".

TPTB would be satisfied with the news like this. Communality and the care about your neighbour has been minimalized. Basically anything can take place in the neighbour as long as it doesn't worry oneself, when it of course causes fear and maybe a phone call to the police.

Well, it's today. I am not complaining, just observing.

-v

A long time ago people had to socialize and work together in a community in order to make their community a better place, and to provide a nice structured environment for their offspring.

Now, in today's hectic world, we compete against each other. We literally compete to make the most money and to hell with the neighbors. There are so many things taking our time and attention. It is all out war!

reply to post by Cabaret Voltaire


I think you should change "we" to "most people" as you are tarring us all with the same brush....I don't feel the need to compete with anyone in my neighbourhood

I would never ever speak to one of my neighbours.

I have the real neighbours from hell.

I would advise people not to socialize to much with people near to you, as people can really destroy your life making up stuff. I would stay away from neighbours period.

Well as a "country boy" I can definitely agree to this. When I go into a city I amazed by how many people there are. You can't greet them all I guess. Besides that, you never know if the one that invites you may have some special "kool aid" to drink lol.

Alright. You can read ''me'' instead of ''we''.
I say to hell with 'em.
And I agree, some people are trouble.
Some neighbors are just lonely boring idiots that will start to bother you because they think you are interested in them.
They'll come over and drink all your beer.

I think recent history has sold us a duff regarding the nature of communities. From an English perspective I hear a lot of stories about how communities were busy thriving things where people knew each other and talked to each other, but I've often wondered how much this was down to what's often called 'Blitz spirit'. In a country that saw fairly wide range and devastating bombing (not just in London), it's hardly surprising that urban areas banded together and became united.

However, everything I read about Victorian urban areas, from the new terraces built between the 1840s and 1880s, to the rookeries comprising of much older buildings and communities, communities seem as fractious and disharmonious and as violent as many of today's urban communities. It makes me wonder whether this 'golden age' of community that many older people hark back to was merely a blip in something that's been there since Industrialisation.

If mutual avoidance behaviour has any merit and goes any way at all to explaining to not only distant but volatile behaviour in Britain, then the population density of the UK, particularly England, is worth a look at.



It makes you wonder whether this is one of the reasons the French and the rest of our mainland cousins are so eager to keep the stream of African and East European immigrants moving our way rather than stopping in their much more spacious countries.

[edit on 21-3-2010 by Merriman Weir]

[edit on 21-3-2010 by Merriman Weir]

This is really sad but very very true.

I live in a flat in the uk and me and my wife always make a point of going and welcoming any new people that move in and take the a bottle of wine or something, The looks we get are just wrong.

We will keep doing it though as we feel that society as a whole need to take there communitys back. It should be normal to know your neighbours and to look out for one another.

lets all try and get it back.

Peace

reply to post by tempest501


If you bought me a bottle of vino when I moved into your block, you can guarantee you'd be invited round for a 3 course dinner cooked by moi and several more bottles of vino ASAP, Tempest

Good on you & your wife for keeping that spirit of community alive. Its something that is sadly lacking in society these days unfortunately

I hear you.

Try to smile at a girl in the streets here in Germany, and they ll look at you as if you tried to rape them.

see I used to believe that people generally avoided each other in modern society however I recently moved to a street that I can only describe as like living in a timewarp - all the neighbours have waved or shouted hello, from both sides of the street and my immediate neighbour introduced himself, we've spoken a few times and he's just a normal family type - there's even kids playing in the streets ON THEIR OWN OMG!

Its kinda nice to live in a community again, although I gotta say its been weird adjusting to it

reply to post by tempest501


Good on you, Tempest -- you're admirable

Would send you ten stars if it were allowed

Well the OP does not suprise me. People seem incapable of just sending a reply saying thanks but can't make it. Anyway I also wonder about where it is a place where people drive everywhere as opposed to walking as that does seem to make a difference.

Talk to my neighbors? I'm 50 years old, and most of my neighbors are older than me.
Neighbor to the left of me: 70+ years old with wife, so nasty he cut his son out of the will because he got in an argument with his daughter-in-law. Owns multiple rental properties, but is so cheap he doesn't have an answering machine on his phone, let alone a computer. Fond of turning me in to the authorities because he doesn't like my lawn care or wants my pets investigated. Goes to church every Sunday. (!!?) If he has a heart attack in his yard, I will go stand on his chest and claim I'm doing CPR.
Neighbor to the right: Almost 40 with wife and 2 kids, alcoholic who can't have one conversation without referring to beer and how much he drinks. Wife is a clueless co-dependent. I have nothing in common with these people.
Two houses to the left: 70+ year old man with wife who is near death. Nice people, but living in a different universe than me. Multiple relatives live, in trailer houses, on free land that used to be the back yard. The poor man can't remember a conversation that took place 10 minutes ago.
Across the street: Very old couple, the ambulance was there this morning. I very rarely see them and have never spoken to them. Beside them are a string of trailer houses that contain, perhaps, their relatives that are living on free land, and waiting for the old couple to die. One of the women who live in the trailers comes over, maybe once/month with kids to pet my dog and ponies. I wish she wouldn't, since this is the U.S., I have visions of law suits if she or a kid get hurt on my property. I have nothing in common with those people either.

I have a very stressful job in the medical field, I read a lot in my spare time, have pets, birds for eggs/food, rarely drink, don't understand people who are taking advantage of their parents/grandparents by living for free on their land, and I don't have kids. I have nothing to talk about with these people, and don't want to try to make mindless conversation with them. I really wish they would disappear.

reply to post by v01i0



neighbors are just there to call the cops on you.

we use to have bbqs and pot lucks...till all the foreigners moved in.

just telling it like it is..

Originally posted by Lookingup

I have a very stressful job in the medical field, I read a lot in my spare time, have pets, birds for eggs/food, rarely drink, don't understand people who are taking advantage of their parents/grandparents by living for free on their land, and I don't have kids. I have nothing to talk about with these people, and don't want to try to make mindless conversation with them. I really wish they would disappear.

The thing is you dont need to make mindless conversations. Just make and effort to say Hello when you pass them on the street. Its true were not all the same and we wont always have lifestyles that are similar but one thing we all have in common is we are all human beings. Sure sometimes you might have problems and not see eye to eye but I guarantee it is better for everyone when peopl at least try.

If we allow ourselves to keep receeding into our homes hiding things will never get better.

I got married last year and will prob start a family soon. I really dont want them to grow up in the world you painted, so we have to make the change.

I too have a stressful technical job but we always have time to say Hello. Plus you might be surprised to find out you have more in common than you think.

At least give them a chance they might surprise you, or your act of kindness may inspire them to be better people.

We always have hope my friend.

Peace

Yes you are absolutely correct. As you can see with the variety of response people are starting to get displaced into situations that take them away from the people they do know and love. This is happening for many reasons. Take your pick.

No matter how you look at it community started with family. The first tribes where family. They grew into communities. Which in turn flourished into cities, growing from there to states. Now we have countries. Now the next step is which ever government gets put into place to create a world government.

For what ever reason when we grow we also become separated to a greater and greater degree. But it really boils down to how bad people want to get to know their neighbors.

As for me? It doesn't matter one way or the other at the moment. With all the baggage that comes with life today it seems that its a lot easier to focus on your own responsibilities than it is to actually invest the time to get to know a neighbor. But who knows, you may be meeting your new best friend.

I'm busy a lot of the time and don't want to spend very much time visiting neighbors. Some of my neighbors may want me to take over the home owners association as if I have nothing better to do or assist them with something else. I used to have a hot female neighbor for years before she moved a few months ago. Every once in a while right outside my computer window, I occasionally saw her in a bikini top washing her car. We're on zero lot lines so I couldn't have been much closer. That's just too close I thought to date someone. If you dated someone that close to you and things didn't work out, you could end up with years of fighting and misery since you would see them a lot regardless of whether you wanted to or not.

Now if a hot female neighbor (I'm not aware that I have any now.) invited me to her house and was serving decent food, I think I would go visit. People are constantly moving in and out of houses, doing other things and occasionally needing help. I'm very busy too and would rather not spend a lot of time visiting neighbors unless I think they might be able to help me on occasion. Several of my neighbors did go to the courthouse recently to stop a zoning change to some nearby property. I went to. We succeeded in stopping the zoning change. Our neighborhood is only one street but we filled up the courthouse room. It's nice to know many of my neighbors will become active if their interests are threatened.

Well saying "Hi" does not hurt. I am not suggesting parties or anything like that. Just "Hi". A polite reply to that housewarming invitiation to say "no thank you" would have been fine. I dislike the rudeness of it all

[edit on 21-3-2010 by Tiger5]

After reading through the responses I was happy to see that hospitality is not dead.

My wife and I are however pretty private people and am not the types who will go knocking on doors in a Ned Flanders kind of way.

We are, on the other hand, big believers in being nice when approached or called upon when someone is in need. I feel I don't have to know my neighbor or anyone else for that fact to be neighborly. My neighbors are an acre or two away on either side and are much older, we don't talk much but when we do I try to treat them as old friends. This is my policy for pretty much everyone until I am wronged by them. Then they are avoided.

[edit on 21-3-2010 by sparrowstail]

[edit on 21-3-2010 by sparrowstail]