News Flash: I Have No Spare Change

Dear Street Bum,

This morning, upon taking my children to the police department in order to visit their father, you saw me unloading the baby from the car and started walking towards me, bellowing, "Little sister! Hey! Little Sister!"

I heard you. I ignored you. You continued to get closer and closer, getting louder and louder.

I still ignored you.

You stopped not four feet away and yelled even louder, "LITTLE SISTER!" whereupon I growled, "I don't HAVE anything!"

Lesson the first: Never, under any circumstances, bother a woman with her small children. If you had come any nearer or touched me or mine I would have ripped your throat out with my teeth. Bothering a woman with her kids like that brings out the mama bear, and we are not accountable for what your insistent stupidity may bring.

Lesson the second: I am disabled, collect under $1000 a month for myself and $500 a month for both kids from the federal government. Their father refuses to contribute to their upbringing. I live in one of the most expensive urban areas in the US. I HAVE NO SPARE CHANGE. Every penny is used to support myself and my children. At the end of the month I often have to dig through my change dish in the car just to do our laundry.

You are a grown man on the streets by choice. You are most likely addicted to alcohol, crack or some other substance. But this is still your choice. Neither I, nor my children, nor any other human being in this city owes you a living. My change is not spare.

I have to choose between feeding my kids or supporting your addiction. Let me see, what do I do .... Oh, yeah, tell you to buzz off. Which I did.

Have some decency and leave me alone. If you want to get wrecked, then get a job and support your own habit. I'm sure as heck not going to pay for you to get high.

If you ask and someone ignores you do you honestly think that stalking someone down the street bellowing at them is going to hit pay dirt?

Either you're stupid or you're high. Probably both.

But in either case, back off. Because I'm not in the mood for you.

Here here!

Agreed. Reminds of that recent South Park episode.

You tell those homeless!

I agree with you on the baby issue. Some people have not learned the art of approach and this person did not know.

Yes, I've been homeless for 10 years. I dress nicer than most people. I live in one of the most wealthy areas.

I can be found at the library studing my arse off. There are many of us that don't consider ourselves homeless. There are many college students that will rather spend all their money to get the education they need and live without a home. There is more of those types of people than the soo called Bums. We just don't let anyone know!

I just hope you know the difference in the two.

I remember the people paying bums to fight on camera. Make 'em work for the money.

Mr Mysticism I am fully aware of the difference. I did a stint on the streets myself. This was an addict of some kind, filthy, crazy and obnoxious.

Hope I did not offend you.

stint....... Hehehehehehe!

Originally posted by Kacen
Here here!

Agreed. Reminds of that recent South Park episode.

You tell those homeless!

just send them to california
californians love the homeless

I AM in California. :bash:

I remember wayyyyyyy back when I scrounged for money. Darn tootin...I knew what that was like.

It was a time in my life when I was receiving "Mother's Allowance" - Ontario, Canada. (The father was nowhere to be located at the time)

Are you all familiar with the saying: "Enough money to live on, but not enough to get ahead?". Sucks...doesn't it?

I put my children ahead of my wishes for a long time; until the time came for me to 'upgrade myself'.

I needed to better myself; for not only the sake of my kids, but for ME.

I've held down many jobs; including being a Flight Attendant...seriously! My reasons for not being in that position anymore are irrelevent.

What is relevent?

Perhaps the environment in which I grew up in.

I wasn't dirt poor; nor grew up with a silver spoon in my mouth.

I think what I want to explain is the 'values' that I grew up with, and continue to carry, to this day.

I'm most thankful for My parents guidance and surrounding friends influence.

They'd shown me: Patience/Understanding/Tolerance - and a lot of other good traits; to assist me with difficulties and what we ALL might see regarding people that want quick handouts in life.

MajorMalfunction?

You know, I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. I really don't.

People work good and hard for their positions in life, and when those that we pass on a side-walk, looking for handouts, seem to be the lazy/undeserving types - strike a wrong chord with a lot of people.

At one point, these people played an ill-tune with me.

They don't anymore.

What changed my mind? I stopped feeling sorry for them; stopped getting annoyed by their asking for handouts, I stopped trying to ask 'why'.

I started to help those around me - ones who needed help and accepted my help, for whatever help it included.

If I saw a 'bum' on the street, holding a sign and expecting money to provide for his drug/alcahol habit, I wouldn't give him monies. I've given people food/coffee/tea instead. (Though many times I've had given, thrown back at me and land in a heap on the sidewalk...still doesn't deter me) How many of you had this happen?

I'm not a martyr; I don't want brownie points. I just stopped condemning situations, and tried to provide solutions the best way that I could.

Not every 'bum' on the street can be helped. I know that. I know my limits.

I just think IMO, that people shouldn't walk on by, ignore people (out of habit), and not pass on any goodness that we've learned along the way.

I remember, not tooooooo long ago, when I asked for help. I wasn't begging on a street corner, but I was a human soul reaching out for some sort of sanity/forgiveness/financial recourse.

I earned my position today, and am thankful for the kind help that came my way.

I see your points, I do. But I feel very threatened when someone comes up on me yelling on the street, expecting me to give them something.

It's not the asking, it's the way it was asked for.

I live in a very violent city. People attack other people for nonsensical reasons, often no reason at all.

About two weeks ago, a similar situation happened, and the guy grabbed my four year old daughter's hand. I guess he thought he was going to "melt my heart" by being "kind" to my child, but all I saw was someone touching my child that had no business doing so, and all in the name of getting money from me.

I guess I just don't have the patience and tolerance you have, Duckster.

I never give money, I've given food before. And BART tickets. Never money.

There's a term for what this kind of guy was doing: aggressive panhandling. It's different than asking for a handout.

I lived on the streets in SF for a year and a half in the early 90's. I never begged myself, but all the people I knew who panhandled were looking for cash to get high. I can barely support my own children, I am not about to support some adult's drug or alcohol or tobacco habit.

Maybe I'm selfish, yes, but a woman in my position HAS to be selfish, if she wants her children to have a better fate than the yelling guy outside the police station.

MajorMalfunction?

Like I said before: I don't blame you what-so-ever hon.

Environment and nurturing plays a key role in how we react to others.

I won't pretend to even imagine what was going through your mind, when these shady individuals approached you in that fashion.

Mabey it's so true about the saying: LOCATION...location...blah blah blah...

What I'm saying is:

I wish you could could live where I live(would love to have you as a neighbor). I'm not saying that where I live is exempt of problems, but from my stance, the problems that you describe, are not prevelant in my area.

When it comes to the difficulties that you posted, I, personally, would probably react in the same way.

NOTHING comes in the way of a mother and her children.

Amen sister!

what part of california are you in? you dont have to say if you dont feel comfortable

homeless people in L.A. can suprisingly, be quite greedy

I'm in Oakland, the Detroit of the West Coast.

I've had people on cell phones begging for money, while talking to someone. I had one guy dressed in cashmere and leather loafers, holding two lattes ask me for money and get quite offended when I ignored him.

Many of the people around here are just scamming. Who do you believe? It makes you jaded about ALL of them.

[edit on 5-5-2007 by MajorMalfunction]

Just So You Know

I know of several "Bum's", and "Panhandlers", who upon finishing a days work begging for "Spare Change" get picked up by their wives, in "nice" cars to be driven home to their "nice" homes. I saw a newspaper articles that followed a bum for a while who was bringing in around 50K a year tax free. I know this is not the normal. But there are also professional bum's out there.

Personally I panhandled in New Orleans after getting mugged and managed to make $275.00 in one day. I was more that I got mugged with. I would do it again, but a feel like such a , and hate the people who do this that I just can't sink to that level unless in dire situation.

PS: These people have no boundaries, and no shame. I've personally thrown one against the wall of a street after he grabbed my girlfriend by the arm because she ignored him.

[edit on 7-5-2007 by Royal76]

yeah I had one walking towards me dribbling a basketball. He passed me the ball (i don't know this guy at all and he is clearly homeless) and said "yo pass me the ball" so I passed it back to him and kept walking. the guy then said "pass me a dollar" pissed me off.

I can't stand anybody begging for money though. Unless it's unusual circumstances or something. Mostly it's obvious what the intentions are of the people who are asking for money constantly.

If I see someone who is obviously stranded on the road and have been mugged. I help.


But nobody can really afford to just give money away nowa days. unless you are rich which would be about .01 percent of the population.

I am totally in your corner for ranting about this problem.

Originally posted by MajorMalfunction
You are a grown man on the streets by choice.

Are you sure about that? Have you been homeless before? Have you worked for organizations before that work hand in hand with homeless individuals?

Nobody is saying you need to offer them some change, but they do deserve our respect. And it is a massive assumption to say that they are on the street by choice.

Originally posted by MajorMalfunction
You are most likely addicted to alcohol, crack or some other substance.

Interesting.

Why is it that any bum, homeless person, "rough" looking person, has to be addicted to some substance? Why can't it be that he/she has lived a rough life, like yourself, and is forced to panhandle for dimes and nickels to feed their children?

As a homeless person, you are dirty, probably smell quite foul, and have no permanent residence, or contact information. How is one expected to hold down any sort of employment? How are they to garner an income? So how are they going to feed their children?

Again, you are not obligated to give them any change. But you should give them your respect.

Originally posted by MajorMalfunction
I have to choose between feeding my kids or supporting your addiction. Let me see, what do I do .... Oh, yeah, tell you to buzz off. Which I did.

Your lack of empathy concerns me. You should choose your children first. I admire the dedication you show to your children. From what I can see, you are a role model to other parents. Your children are certainly lucky to have you as a mother. But not every bum/homeless person is an addict. It is quite possible that they are good people, and would do what they can to help you out if they ever thought you needed it.

Originally posted by MajorMalfunction
Have some decency and leave me alone. If you want to get wrecked, then get a job and support your own habit. I'm sure as heck not going to pay for you to get high.

Rereading that statement, I'm sure you'll see the hypocrisy in it. We can show some decency to them without having to open our wallets.

Originally posted by MajorMalfunction
Either you're stupid or you're high. Probably both.

What would you say if you seen your children treating a stranger in that manner? Would you not want your children to treat others with respect?

Originally posted by MajorMalfunction
But in either case, back off. Because I'm not in the mood for you.

Life is too short to be walking around pissed off at complete strangers, bums, homeless people, etc. Take the time and greet people. If they are panhandling, and you do not have the money, politely turn them down. If they become a jerk about it, well feel free to return the favor. But through my experiences with homeless individuals, on the streets and through employment, they are kind people who are a victim themselves.

They mean no harm, they do not wish to offend or scare anyone, they are just looking for a warm meal in an effort to survive the night.

I can respect that. Hopefully others can too.

I understand that you need to protect your children, but that does not excuse some of the statements you've made of innocent people here. Calling them dumb, drug addicts, etc., is uncalled for and inappropriate.

I just count my lucky stars that I do not find myself on the street and in their position, and I shall do the same for you. I do not want to begin to imagine what they have to live through on a daily basis.

Sorry if I offended you, Chissler. I don't assume the worst of every person on the street. I lived on the street for over a year myself. I do know first hand what most of the people wandering around like this particular person, demanding -- not asking for -- money are up to.

I was on a particular drug myself at the time. By choice. when I got off the streets I quit the drug, also by choice.

So I'm not being elitist, I have been there myself. I know what I'm talking about.

Oakland is full of people who are drunk, or high, and who do that by choice; rather than support themselves, they demand I do it. It's one thing to ask for spare change and not harass someone for not giving it, it's another thing entirely to charge up on someone yelling at them and then expect money for being scary.

I agree with you MM!
Especially the kids part. If some stranger had grabbed my four year olds hand, I would've decked him.

Keep your chin up my friend!

Originally posted by MajorMalfunction
Sorry if I offended you, Chissler. I don't assume the worst of every person on the street. I lived on the street for over a year myself. I do know first hand what most of the people wandering around like this particular person, demanding -- not asking for -- money are up to.

Hey, I apologize if you feel that I was offended in any way. I merely took a stand that I do believe in, but moreso for the sake of discussion. Absolutely no need for apology.

Originally posted by MajorMalfunction
I was on a particular drug myself at the time. By choice. when I got off the streets I quit the drug, also by choice.

That is good to hear.

Myself, I've never been homeless. But I have volunteered for a few non-profit organizations that provide safe houses for people to get them off of the street for a few nights, and get them a warm shirt on their back, and a hot meal in their stomach. From what I've seen, these people are not their by choice. They do not panhandle because it is easy, it is their only option.

But again, that has been my experience. You, and others, may have had other experiences and developed different opinions. I just feel they do deserve our respect.

Originally posted by MajorMalfunction
I know what I'm talking about.

I do not doubt that for a second. It is a matter of ethics I believe. Your children are first and foremost, and after that this is no second. I respect that and I encourage it in other parents. Had this been a different scenario where this individual approached you, I only hope that we would of taken the opportunity to show the individual some respect and allow him to retain some dignity.

But given the circumstances, I do not believe you acted inappropriately in any way. Protect thy children!

Originally posted by MajorMalfunction
it's another thing entirely to charge up on someone yelling at them and then expect money for being scary.

Agreed.

Originally posted by Kacen
Here here!

Agreed. Reminds of that recent South Park episode.

You tell those homeless!

I know how you feel.

After seeing that episode of Southpark, i couldnt help but find it so ironic that that is exactly how it is in Denver.

If I has a nickel for every bum that I saw every day, I would have no money as of about 3 years ago.

if bums want money, then take the change you get, save up and buy a card reader. If bums were truely resourceful, they would ask for donations and then let the donators decide whether they want to let the bum swipe their credit card for a dollar or two.

Even if a bum were to do this, i probably wouldnt give them anything, but come on, change is becoming less and less prevalent in society, so they are going to have to resort to this tactic sooner or later.

But what erks me more is when a bum is panhandling outside of an establishment that says "Now Hiring". If I was going to give you money before, I am surely not going to give you any , now!

The pinnacle of aiding bums:

Denver CO has installed new meters outside of Bum hotspots for passers by to give change without having to confront the bums. This change will be distributed to organizations that help the homeless, but it still seems like it is defeating the purpose of ridding the streets of panhandlers.

Thank you Lombozo!

Don Wahn that episode of South Park ... I nearly peed myself. I was, "Why didn't I think of that! It's brilliant!"

I watched it three times and laughed like a loon all through it. It's funny because it's true.

It's a terrible thing to live on the streets. I did it. I know. I had the opportunity to be in a shelter and get my stuff together, and I couldn't deal with it at the time. A lot of people are the same way. The rules at the places willing to help them back up are too much for them to take, mainly because these particular ones are not about to give up their substance of choice.

there are homeless families, yes. And elderly. But I didn't see very many of those at all, and I was all over China Basin, SOMA, and the Lower Haight. I knew so many of the characters out there, what they were on, what they did to get money and what they did with the money when they got it.

I will admit, some people do not have much of a choice. But a great deal of those out there DO have a choice, and choose to live hand to mouth and high 24/7. The only thing that got me out of that life was getting arrested for something stupid. Then some old friends across the Bay took me in and helped me get on my feet. If it wasn't for those two events, who knows what might have happened to me?

However, I still chose to stay out of that life. It was hard sometimes. I'd see an open garage door and my predatory street instincts would kick in and I'd be thinking how easy it would be to get in there and get something to pawn. It took years of counseling/therapy (three of them court ordered as a condition of my release) to finally do what I had to do to get over it and move on with my life.

But it was still a choice. I did it, and others can too. That's what I mean by being out there by choice. I don't believe addiction and alcoholism completely control the people who suffer from them. I've been there, and I know that for a lot of people it's just an excuse and another way of playing the victim, which is what they're really addicted to.

I know it sounds harsh. I know that it seems like I'm generalizing about all homeless, when I don't intend to. I know that a great deal of homeless women and children are out there because of domestic violence. But like I said, I didn't see many of those. Those mothers tend to take advantage of the shelter system and safe houses. Most of the real hard-core street women I knew were mothers to three, four, even six kids, all of them in foster care or with relatives because the mothers chose to run the streets chasing the dragon and all the other euphemisms for what they were really up to.

All the ones I knew had their particular scams. Some would panhandle and prostitute themselves. Some would go around picking locks on newspaper machines. Some had a method of stealing the bills from inside the parking boxes on the daily lots. Others would recycle anything, including spools of wire stolen off the PG&E trucks. Rip each other off constantly.

But they would get their welfare checks every month (me included) and immediately spend it on their favorite substances. There was a woman on Polk Street you could go to that would give you $1 for every 2 food stamps you gave her.

All it took was a little bit of work and pride-swallowing and in Northern California at least, you can get yourself out of the gutter and back on your way up, with the help of some cash and food stamps every month, shelters or hotel vouchers, free food from the food banks, etc. etc. There are programs to help even in this day of budget slashing.

The choice to stop and move back into the world of day is there for all of them. They just have to make the choice and stick to it. Some of these people find it too hard to do. And some just don't want to do it. But the choice is still there.