My new 'Splinter Cell'

All these terrorist splinter cells are getting really boring....soooooo....ive formed one of my own thats way better...

WELCOME TO 'SCREAMING JIHAD'!!

I havent really come up with much for us to do yet and i dont really like the idea of blowing people up and kidnapping folks soooooo.....

basically i thought we could just drink loads of beer and spirits, shout 'Jihad' a lot to make us look tough, if we couple that with wearing rags on our heads and make some really, really gay 'training' videos that make us look a complete joke we should be pretty much up there with the best of them...(obviously minus the drinking)

ive come up with a 'group cocktail'.....'the flaming Hezzbollah'

and i think we should all wear just one red glove....we will call this our 'crimson fist'

does any one have any really battered AK 47's we can fire over our heads like real men?

In light of my conversion to my new faith i would like to be refered to as Waheed Fett from now on.

Do we get to wear grills that say Jihad on the top row and Mofos on the bottom?!?!!

Originally posted by optimus fett
All these terrorist splinter cells are getting really boring....soooooo....ive formed one of my own thats way better...

WELCOME TO 'SCREAMING JIHAD'!!

I havent really come up with much for us to do yet and i dont really like the idea of blowing people up and kidnapping folks soooooo.....

basically i thought we could just drink loads of beer and spirits, shout 'Jihad' a lot to make us look tough, if we couple that with wearing rags on our heads and make some really, really gay 'training' videos that make us look a complete joke we should be pretty much up there with the best of them...(obviously minus the drinking)

ive come up with a 'group cocktail'.....'the flaming Hezzbollah'

and i think we should all wear just one red glove....we will call this our 'crimson fist'

does any one have any really battered AK 47's we can fire over our heads like real men?

In light of my conversion to my new faith i would like to be refered to as Waheed Fett from now on.

Yo Waheed! Serve me up one of those flaming Hezzbollahs. :w:
Hmmm, the red glove thing, eh. I think part of the Uniform should be sandals with nice long white socks - now there's a look!
*crimson fist flies into the air* "JIHAD!!!"
I'll stop shaving today! Mmmm long disgusting, dirty beards.
*crimson fist flies into the air* "JIHAD!!!"
Hey wait, I'm doing some thinking here.....
You know those airhorns that people take to sporting events? You know the ones that make that piercing -daaaayootttt- sound? Well we should sneak up behind unsuspecting people and blow it right behind their heads!
*crimson fist flies into the air* "JIHAD!!!"
Now that's good stuff!
*crimson fist flies into the air* "JIHAD!!!"







[edit on 6-9-2006 by lombozo]

Greeting brother Waheed fett!

May the infidels bring us more beer than we could ever hope to carry!

*fires ak at super sonic fighter as it passes thousands of feet above head*

[edit on 6-9-2006 by UK Wizard]

So I'm sitting here doin' some more thinkin', and I says to myself

Imagine the cool parties we could have!
*crimson fist flies into the air* "JIHAD!!!"
Drinkin' lots of libations, eatin' lots of creatively named finger foods like:
Israeli Kabobs on a skewer, or Lion eaten Christian Nuts wrapped in Bacon, or how about this - Blackened UN Force steaks served over "Allah" bread......
*crimson fist flies into the air* "JIHAD!!!"
*crimson fist flies into the air* "JIHAD!!!"
*crimson fist flies into the air* "JIHAD!!!"
Man, this is good stuff!

Yo Waheed! Serve me up one of those flaming Hezzbollahs.

JIHAD BROTHER!!!!

due to your enthusiasm i have decided to appoint you second in command.

JIHAD!!!

now to the pub!!!

brother Lombozo Yahmed!

Originally posted by optimus fett

Yo Waheed! Serve me up one of those flaming Hezzbollahs.

JIHAD BROTHER!!!!

due to your enthusiasm i have decided to appoint you second in command.

JIHAD!!!

now to the pub!!!

brother Lombozo Yahmed!

Lombozo Yahmed on board. Glad to have the responsibilities of 2nd in command.
*crimson fist flies into the air* "JIHAD!!!"
You know I was doin' some more thinkin'..... and I says to myself you know if we pick out our targets, and dig up every flower in their garden, sending a petal or two in the mail to prove we mean business - now that's a statement.
*crimson fist flies into the air* "JIHAD!!!"
*crimson fist flies into the air* "JIHAD!!!"
We could also soap up the windows of unsuspecting motorists when they stop at a light. Oh man that's good stuff!
*crimson fist flies into the air* "JIHAD!!!"
How about this - we carry a couple water balloons with us at all times attached to a vest under our clothes. We could walk into a busy restaurant and pop those balloons making the poor unsuspecting folks in there look as if they had an "accident" in their pants..........
*crimson fist flies into the air* "JIHAD!!!"
*crimson fist flies into the air* "JIHAD!!!"
*crimson fist flies into the air* "JIHAD!!!"
Oh man I amaze even myself.....

You know I was doin' some more thinkin'..... and I says to myself you know if we pick out our targets, and dig up every flower in their garden, sending a petal or two in the mail to prove we mean business - now that's a statement.

Your a sick,sick man brother but yes...

JIHADDDDDDDDD!!!!!

extreme times call for extreme actions...

JIHADDDD!!!!!!

your filling your new role with an evil fanaticalrelish which is to be admired!

(fist in air)

JIHADDDDDDD!!!

Do we get to wear grills that say Jihad on the top row and Mofos on the bottom?!?!!

Definatley LYS...well thought out....you are being apointed as official fashion accesory person.

from now on you will be known as brother LYS Ackbar.

JIHADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

(sinks another 'flaming hezzbollah')

[edit on 6-9-2006 by optimus fett]

I have a problem with the term "rag head" being used. I suggest you edit that.

Any other racial slurs that you might intend to use should likewise get axed. Savvy?

I have a problem with the term "rag head" being used. I suggest you edit that.

ok being as its you......ive done it.

so are you joining brother Zeddicus Yackmir?

(passes over the flaming Hezzbollah)


(be's good)

[edit on 6-9-2006 by optimus fett]

Originally posted by optimus fett
ok being as its you......ive done it.

so are you joining brother Zeddicus Yackmir?

Thanks Waheed!

And no, I'm not much of a joiner. I'm more like the liberator of beer that has been taken hostage by the likes of the "SCREAMING JIHAD" and therefore I shall invade your thread an place a bounty on your head.

Never fear though...I shall never catch you and I have no exit strategy. I just like saying "liberate" and "freedom from oppression."

I am Z.W Boosh.

Osep Jihama dadirka JIHAD!

And no, I'm not much of a joiner. I'm more like the liberator of beer that has been taken hostage by the likes of the "SCREAMING JIHAD" and therefore I shall invade your thread an place a bounty on your head.

LMAO!!!..legendary dude. cheers.

Hey can I join?

The only request is that we add whiskey to the drinking of beer.

Also I have an AK, well actually a romanian wasr 10 but I got a 75 round drum and a bunch of other magazines. The only problems is I won't shoot straight up into the air because it is unsafe but I will shoot targets. But they will be targets of smiley faces or something. Just to show how evil we are

I don't have to give up bacon do I?

So I'm sittin' here doin' some more thinkin.......
So I says to myself we should make a video.
*crimson fist flies into the air* "JIHAD!!!"
I got this really killer water pistol - man it squirts like 100 feet away, and has one of those big water tanks on the top. So I did some more thinking and I took some sand paper to it and really scruffed it up, and threw some dark paint on it to look really dirty. Man, I can't believe how much good thinkin' I can do!
*crimson fist flies into the air* "JIHAD!!!"
Now Waheed Fett should sit in front of the camera and talk about our cause, and I'll stand behind him with this water gun - looking all scary. Think about it - towels on our heads, sandals with white socks, one red glove, and maybe a toga, (oh man that's some good stuff!)
Hey wait! I just did some more thinkin'! I'll go out back and mix up some mud, and make some mud balls.......
*crimson fist flies into the air* "JIHAD!!!"
Man with the dirty squirt gun, and some of those dirt bombs showing, and one of those water balloon vests - people are gonna respect us.
*crimson fist flies into the air* "JIHAD!!!"
*crimson fist flies into the air* "JIHAD!!!"
Man I can do some good thinkin' sometimes.....

So I was doin' sittin' here doin' some more thinkin' about that video we should make. So I says to myself, how can we make our video even scarier? Hmmmmm....... I take a sip of my Flaming Hezbollah, and look out in the back yard, when BAM! It hit's me.
My 3 year old son has a set of monkey bars out back with a sliding board. Oh man now this is some good thinkin'! Video us all decked out in our uniforms, climbing around on those monkey bars - and walking up that sliding board without using the ladder, just climbing up the sliding part -now who wouldn't respect us after a display like that?
*crimson fist flies into the air* "JIHAD!!!"
Oh man, hold on! C'mon brain, your workin' really hard doin' all this thinkin'! My son also has a tire swing! We can climb on that tire swing, and spin around - I mean really fast. And show us throwing a couple of those dirt bombs through the hole. Oh man, it would strike fear into the hearts of everyone! When we're done the video, we can Fed Ex a copy to AlJazeera, so they can show the world what a real splinter group is all about!
*crimson fist flies into the air* "JIHAD!!!"
*crimson fist flies into the air* "JIHAD!!!"
I gotta do some more thinkin'!
*crimson fist flies into the air* "JIHAD!!!"

If scotch and bacon are allowed, I'll join your jihad too!

So, I'm sittin' here doin' some more thinkin' and I says to myself where would be a good meetin' place. Some place where we could hide out, and nobody could find us. Hmmmmm...... there's not alot of caves around here. There's not alot of deserts either. I never even saw a bunker for cryin' out loud. What to do, what to do?
C'mon brain, do some good thinkin'..........
I got it! I have a really big tree in my backyard, and alot of lumber left over from a project I never finished. We could build a really cool tree house! Up real high, with the only way to get up in that treehouse would be a really long rope ladder. Yep, no one could get into that treehouse if they couldn't get hold of that ladder. Brain, I gotta give you a reward for this good thinkin'! Yep, I'm gonna slug a couple of those Flaming Hezbollahs down for you.
*raises crimson fist in the air* JIHAD!
We could get a really long extension cord, and plug it into my back porch and run it up to that tree house. No one would ever suspect we were there!
*raises crimson fist in the air* JIHAD!
Wait! I just had another great thinkin' thought!
We can put my son's name on the door - sayin' "This is Joeys place, all others keep out!" Anybody searchin' for us would be tricked. I can see the Swat team scratching their heads, saying "Nope, this is Joeys place. The Screaming Jihadiis have eluded us again." Man, how is that for some good thinkin'?
*raises crimson fist in the air* JIHAD!
Owwww! I just got my hand caught in the ceiling fan..........