I got Jokes n' jokes n' jokes...........

Once upon a time
~~~~~~~~
in a land far away,
~~~~~~~~
a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess
~~~~~~~~
happened upon a frog as she sat
contemplating ecological issues
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
~~~~~~~~

The frog hopped into the princess' lap
and said: " Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
~~~~~~~~
One kiss from you, however,
and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am
~~~~~~~~
and then, my sweet, we can marry
~~~~~~~~
and set up houseke eping in your castle
~~~~~~~~
with my mother,
~~~~~~~~
where you can prepare my meals,
~~~~~~~~
clean my clothes , bear my children,
~~~~~~~~
and forever feel

grateful & amp;n bsp;and happy doing so. "
~~~~~~~~


That night,
~~~~~~~~
as the princess dined sumptuously
~~~~~~~~
on lightly sautéd frog legs
~~~~~~~~
seasoned in a white wine
~~~~~~~
and onion cream sauce,
~~~~~~~~
she chuckled and thought to herself:
~~~~~~~~
I don't freakin think so.

> >
> > A cop was patrolling late at night in a well-known spot.
> >
> > He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing.
> >The cop carefully approaches the car to get a closer look.
> >
> > Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer
> >magazine
> > He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, knitting.
> >Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks to the car and gently
> >raps
> >on the driver's window.
> >The young man lowers his window . "Uh, yes, officer?"
> >Thee cop says: "What are you doing?"
> >The young man says: "Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine."
> >Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the cop says:
> >"And her, what is she doing?"
> >The young man shrugs: "Sir, I believe she's knitting a pullover
> >sweater."< BR>> >Now, the cop is totally confused. A young couple. Alone, in a car, at
> > night in a Lover's lane....and nothing obscene is happening!
> >The cop asks: "What's your age, young man?"
> >The young man says :"I'm 22, sir."
> >The cop asks: "And her ... what's her age?"
> >The young man looks at his watch and replies:
> >"She'll be 18 in 11 minutes."

The wrong email address?

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw
out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the
same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to
coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and
flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer
in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just
returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check
her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the
first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the
room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: January 16, 2007

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones.
I'v e just arrived and have been checked in. I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here!