Trust and Distrust

Well, I said to a couple of folks I would post something Sunday on the issues of 'trust' and 'distrust'.

I thought I had worked out where my own trust and distrust in ATS members was at, and I would comment briefly on the why's and wherefore's. But I haven't.

This isn't to do solely with "Whispers" and things that might have been observed recently as betrayals.

Some members continue to defy expectations, and radical inconsistencies in their behavior are indicators of either immaturity, personality disorders or undisclosed motivations and agendas.

Also there are plenty more coming here lately who hide behind a false (newly created not original) identity who seek a fresh start on an old agenda. The evidence is all here, but I'm not anyone for witch hunts.

So, I fail to deliver.

Except I will ask (so I can be better educated by you folks):

* What makes you trust ATS people (posters, members, lurkers, Admin & Moderators)?

* What makes you distrust ATS people (posters, members, lurkers, Admin & Moderators)?

I don't trust anyone. By the same token, I don't ask that anyone trust me.

At the same time, in reading people's posts, over time you do get a pretty good feel for what they're about, what their agenda is and how they're likely to respond in any given situation. If something comes up that requires a greater degree of trust than can be obtained on an internet message board, there are other ways of making contact.

I think anyone that would trust the population of the entire board with something important is nuts.

I tend not to trust anyone in cyberspace...heck, I trust very few people (even my own family) in real life...so a made up name on my computer screen is shyte outa luck when it comes to getting any trust from me.

Respect/Tolerance however is a different story...most will get that, unless they do something to revoke it.


Peace,
ALIEN

I trust everyone. but i cut the cards.

I tend to approach anyone online with distrust - although i do find that sometimes trust can be built up, but its something that has to be earned.

Personally i feel i can be trusted. I tend to be brutally honest about everything (....apart from my address,phones number ect) and it can be to my detrement. But it also helps me identify, who i can teust in return.

i hope that makes sense...

P.S i think a way to measure how much you can trust someone often lies in whether they claim infallibility. I tend to have less trust in those who are certain , than those who can accept there may be a chance they are wrong...

You're a fool if you trust anyone on ATS. I'm not saying that every member here is a Judas, but you can never be too sure. You can't trust anyone on the internet.

It's hard for me to trust people when I know Lucifer used to be God's favorite.

To Trust or not to Trust! That is the question (no not shakespear either, similar though)

But is it a case of 'believing' more than trusting someone!

I've trusted a few people in my life and been let down more times than I can remember!

It doesnt matter what some people say, they can still let you down mentally and phsycially as well.

You let someone get too close and your too easily led and believe what ever they say or do, then BANG!! your life just falls apart infront of you. what do you end up doing, if your strong, you pick the piece's up and start again, if your not you go so far down you never come back up.

When people say or do something, should you believe what they say? why not, stranger things have happened. some people dont like talking about things in detail as it can hurt them just talking about things that should never have happened!

But then I dont not believe anyone in here as much as I dont believe anyone in the real world, (where ever that is) life's too short, live it too the full, before its too late!

"TO TRUST OR NOT TO TRUST"

(Is that the question?)



blackwidow

[Edited on 10-8-2003 by blackwidow666]

Originally posted by MaskedAvatar

Except I will ask (so I can be better educated by you folks):

* What makes you trust ATS people (posters, members, lurkers, Admin & Moderators)?

* What makes you distrust ATS people (posters, members, lurkers, Admin & Moderators)?

the first answer, NOTHING.

second answer, EVERYTHING.

i want to trust people but i know i cant take anything a stranger says at face value. i never will either. even when i do trust someone i always question them a little bit. just enough to keep my eyes and mind open to new things, possiblities, points of view, etc.


"trust but verify"

For me trust is something that is built.

There are a surprising amount of members that I trust.
But not with my credit card number.

My trust is gauged by who I would give my personal E-Mail Address to.I would give it to 4 of the 7 poster that preceded me on this thread.
But 2 months ago I would only have given it to 2 if asked.
Who knows in another 2 months,if asked ,I might give it to you all.

So trust is built over time.In my opinion.

john bull 1

yes your right about trust, you have too earn peoples trust, and there's only a very few people in here I would give my e-mail address to as well (although 1 of them is "on leave", right now, DR, and I hear from him most days).


blackwidow

Really, I have no idea what you mean. I've never had an experience online where "trust" should be called into question.

As far as inconsistency in personality goes, not many members behave that way, and if they do...well it's just a message board anyway.

By the way, you can all trust me to be consistently grumpy, cynical, pessemistic and generally ignorable

Cider, and others

Here's some examples of where I trusted someone on-line, and it panned out perfectly well:

* paying out a thousand dollars or so to an on-line acquaintance to have ebay purchases collected centrally by her and sent on to me overseas in one package

* revealing my personal details for written correspondence (never romance).

I've seen other people go through hell as a result of pairing up with someone trying to find a 'soul mate' on line. Romance addicts are a different breed to me.

At ATS, the sorts of trust issues that might arise for me are:

* whether someone is qualified to receive information from me

* whether someone's motive to give or receive information is as they have expressed

* whether someone will behave the day after as they undertook to behave on the day.

Not to mention things that have affected others here, like giving over email addresses, expressing sensitive info in U2U's in confidence, reporting on an unusual event to outside people or to everyone on the Board, even giving honest feedback to someone without fear of being subjected to a torrent of abuse. I haven't had any breaches of trust personally in those areas. Yet.

YES, the common sense policy applies to all on-line behavior.

But there is something unique to ATS as well, the issue of scratching beneath the surface to find deeper answers. While there are some silly kids here (as anywhere), and some above-average levels of paranoia, there are also some fine quality people.

Originally posted by MaskedAvatar
While there are some silly kids here (as anywhere), and some above-average levels of paranoia, there are also some fine quality people.

Yes there are and I thank you for the compliment MA
same goes for you too!

Mark

Markos

When was the last time you did something silly here?

Do you take it that I mean all us kids here are silly? No sir.

The only thing REALLY silly you ever did was to subject people to that dancing chicken. Even then, some kids enjoy silly dancing chickens.

Don't be silly.

MarkosTheFinePerson



Bring back the dancing chicken!

Originally posted by MaskedAvatar
Markos

When was the last time you did something silly here?

Do you take it that I mean all us kids here are silly? No sir.

The only thing REALLY silly you ever did was to subject people to that dancing chicken. Even then, some kids enjoy silly dancing chickens.

Don't be silly.

Sorry boss, you know I couldnt resist!

Neither trust nor belief dwell in the sphere of my psyche.

What is in their place, Trader?

As they say, 'No man is an island'.

Some members continue to defy expectations, and radical inconsistencies in their behavior are indicators of either immaturity, personality disorders or undisclosed motivations and agendas.

Isn't that really at the core of it? You have outliers in any population!

In terms of the trust issue, I think it is important to give everyone a chance to earn it. If there is an agenda or disorder that is operating, it will be reflected in their logical processes.