I Could Use a Hand.

You could say I am part of a Military family, not typical by any means. My dad, me, my uncles etc, all have spent time in the US armed forces, on both sides, also my mrs. family is the same, at least on her moms side.
Ok. My cousin-in-law Is not only a Mason, but graduated West Point in the 60s, went to SE Asia as an Advisor and has been involved at the highest levels of the Black ops community since, spending his last years as a GS 69 or something. His wife, my cousin is Eastern Star, I was at her getting in ceremony or whatever you call it. I was about 10. Anyway, If you are involved in the black ops community at any level then you know who this is. I promise. Instrumental in putting together the Bin Laden affair..Many accolades. Dude is a certified bad SOB. One of my childhood heroes. I had several and they were all top of the food chain in their own right. But my cousin-in law..Whole other level. I grew up with his children, his wife is my cousin, my dads niece.
Ill try to get to the point. So I join the USAF straight out of high school. Wanted to eventually maybe do para-rescue. Started out 3P032. Well I end up getting stationed at a base in FL that's right next to where my cousin in law is running a program. Totally top secret. NOBODY knew about it. The people in my unit weren't even informed, and we had completely open line badges,TS clearance, we could go anywhere.
Anyway, I may have bragged on him a bit to one of my buddies (which was a mistake), but while I was there I would go to his house, visit my cousins, maybe get to talk to him for a minute.
So one night I pick up my cousins(his kids) to go to the beach, etc and one of them hurts his arm (broken I find out) And I didn't tell my cousin(actually I told his wife "I think he hurt his arm",I just feel like I was scared and didn't report the injury correctly) when I dropped him back off, because I was worried he would break my neck. Bad deal number 1.
To make a long story short I start doing narc type work with AFOSI (which Im not sure if my cousin ever knew, which is important), as well as my regular squadron duty. And Im on the Peacekeeper challenge team. Doing ok. I get rattled with the OSI thing, decide to go AWOL and see what I could find. (not a great idea)
So in the course of looking for me they contact my cousin. I think its because they wanted an in. (crapbags).So when all is said and done my Dad tells me never to contact my cousin again. I get it.hahaha. But. My cousin never got to hear my side of the story. I gave an official statement at court martial and kept my mouth shut about OSI. (as I had signed the we don't know you paper)
That was 25 years ago. I haven't seen my cousins since. I don't want a family reunion, but I would really like for him and my cousin to see a picture of my family. Im thinking about writing him a letter and trying to get it to him through my aunt. He's only a short drive away. Should I try to get him a picture? Does he even care about my side of what happened? This has bothered me since. I want to tell him Im sorry for embarrassing him and our country. Disclaimer. Hypothetical story for creative writing, any similarities to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

a reply to: didntasktobeborned

After reading that, we can't be friends.

Write him.
What's the worst that could happen?

a reply to: didntasktobeborned

See if he is on Facebook. If he is send him a friend request.

"I think he hurt his arm" was the mistake that earned the undying wrath of your cousin-in-law. There's a huge difference between a 'hurt' arm and a broken arm; downplaying it most likely severed the ties that bin
d.

If this guy is really so big, bad and scary I'd stay out of his sight forever.

Do not make contact. If you do, it will make everything worse.

Had he wanted contact, he would have contacted you.

Let this one die, before you do.
.

a reply to: didntasktobeborned

originally posted by: nugget1
"I think he hurt his arm" was the mistake that earned the undying wrath of your cousin-in-law. There's a huge difference between a 'hurt' arm and a broken arm; downplaying it most likely severed the ties that bin
d.

If this guy is really so big, bad and scary I'd stay out of his sight forever.

This is my opinion as well. I guess you can save a babys life and be a hero for a day, but if you eat one turd, you're a crap eater for life.
I did downplay it..The boys were wrestling, and foobam..I took him right home..Truthfully Im not sure my cousin in law even knows about me downplaying it..he wasn't home. Only his mom.(i didn't have the chance to follow up, that's the hiccup) But I knew I could have made it more urgent than I did.. Im sure there had to have been some tolerance at first, but then when I decided to go on my trip, he disavowed everything..which would be the rules. My mrs. posts stuff..hes probably seen some of the family there.I just feel like since its generational and he has known me pretty much my whole life, and he's retired now. Maybe a momento, and let him know Im still American, never quit being that , I continued my training.And if there's anything I could do (which is laughable considering how many thousand operators he could ring up,I was meaning house chores or something)..He was kind to my mom last time she went up there to visit my Aunt.That will have to do.
Things happened so fast. Alot of things were happening very quickly. No sleep, I was young myself. Those are some huge shoes to fill. Don't live in the past. Remember the good times with your cousins/family and hope they do to.

originally posted by: DeathSlayer
Do not make contact. If you do, it will make everything worse.

Had he wanted contact, he would have contacted you.

Let this one die, before you do.
.

a reply to: didntasktobeborned

Roger that.

originally posted by: ntech
a reply to: didntasktobeborned

See if he is on Facebook. If he is send him a friend request.

Thanks, I needed a laugh.

originally posted by: chiefsmom
Write him.
What's the worst that could happen?

The worst? Even I am not that creative.

I like your alaskan proverb. Admit nothing, deny everything and make counter-accusations is another standard. His dog bit my sisters face and he didn't kill it. Hes not perfect. First time I ever had to euthanize anything was for my cousin, his wife, while he was away zapping creeps was a half a pillow case full of kittens. I was 9. She sent me up the hill with the pillow case and a little garden fork..I didn't realize the garden fork was for digging and that I was supposed to use a rock…As you can imagine it was a rough first experience of that sort.Knowing what I know now I would have eaten them. Seriously. Just saying from my perspective..maybe since its been so many years..yea you're right..I had no character then and I don't now. a reply to: nugget1

a reply to: didntasktobeborned

People at your cousin-in-law's level tend to hold grudges for a very, very long time.

But.

It's not impossible to turn that around. Don't fb friend him(doubt he has fb) , has to be face to face.

There's more to it though. What is his opinion on people who go AWOL?

The broken arm is just one piece of the story.

He has a problem with your reputation.

Have you changed?

If not, best to let sleeping dogs lie.

a reply to: didntasktobeborned

I hope you get the help you need! It never hurts to ask for guidance, never know who will find you.
Im not like military but somehow feel connection with your situation.

There is always the power of prayer to consider too.

-E38Driver

originally posted by: 19Bones79
a reply to: didntasktobeborned

People at your cousin-in-law's level tend to hold grudges for a very, very long time.

But.

It's not impossible to turn that around. Don't fb friend him(doubt he has fb) , has to be face to face.

There's more to it though. What is his opinion on people who go AWOL?

The broken arm is just one piece of the story.

He has a problem with your reputation.

Have you changed?

If not, best to let sleeping dogs lie.

1. I know I was raised by them.
2. The reputation thing is part of what I wanted to communicate because at the time I had to be secretive about what was going on in my world, and I don't think he was informed of my status before I went AWOL.Pretty sure he didn't know about the OSI goings ons. Probably wouldn't matter.
3. I just can't help but to think if he would have heard the whole story that his reaction would have been different. And He never told me himself that I was excommunicated, that information came through my father.
4. So was the no contact order actually given? I would assume so, but there's a chance it wasn't, and that the order was my dads way of ending the situation?

My core values and principles have not changed.(evolved maybe)

Breaking it down like this is helping. Thank You

a reply to: didntasktobeborned
98% sure of who OP described. Frankly not impressed.

If it is who I expect, why the 💩 would ya wanna gain his favor?

Head hunting cannibals took to the sea bc they figured out eating each other wasn't the wisest protocol if they expect to raise a generation of head hunters.

Not equating the turd in question as a cannibal literally, just figuratively...

No offense to the OP
🙏❤

originally posted by: loveguy
a reply to: didntasktobeborned

If it is who I expect, why the 💩 would ya wanna gain his favor?

No offense to the OP
🙏❤

Because I miss my cousins and their mom, and I want my children to meet them. They would love each other. Just like we did when we were little..And its not like he doesn't have his junk.(and he is my elder.) And I know in retirement he is trying to make up for being gone all the time etc. And I respect that…But we were family..And yes I could probably go around him and contact his sons (my cousins and their mom), but Im trying to use the utmost consideration.(and I would be enraged if someone did that to me) And I will sacrifice my children meeting their cousins in the end. Im proud of my kids and I wanted to show them off to that part of my family, and my cousins now have children, they will most likely never know each other.…I guess this would be considered whining.

Absolutely no offense taken.

a reply to: didntasktobeborned
Nobody can fault you for being a beautiful, compassionate human being. 🙏❤

...I know that the universe returns messages back to the sender.

In time, cousins will be the one's doing the reaching out. 🙏❤

His name hasn't came out of my mouth in 25 years. I think about them often, this is just the first time it hit me while doodling around here. I just tell my kids that they have a lot of really neat cousins that they haven't met yet, because it effected relations with other cousins I was close to as well..and they all have children..ages 10-20..mine are 12, 17, 18. two boys and a girl. Id like cousin in laws children, who I was very close to (and are pretty close to my age and two of them have children), to maybe see one of my sons football games before he graduates, but it looks like he will be playing in college, so there's time. Still bothers me.

a reply to: didntasktobeborned
👍

a reply to: didntasktobeborned

25 years is a long time mate.

Reach out to him , you only live once.