How to cope with dog's death?

My dog had a stroke last week and now is slowly losing her life. I'm trying best I can, giving her medications, carrying her outside, sleeping with her.

I found her in woods 14 years ago, almost dead. I fed her, I sang to her, I gave all my heart for the first time in my life.
She responded with such love that I slowly quit drugs, banished anger from my life because I had to take care of that little thing.
That yellow eyes that cared for me when I was down.

I became new, better person only because of her. I haven't missed a day without her for over 10 years. And she gave me strength to be a better, man.

Now, I watch every day how life is going away from her.

I must stay strong because of my wife and kids but I don't now how.
I cry for days when I'm alone (I thought as ex soldier that I'll cope better but I don't)
I hug her, care, praying god that she can get better or die, this status quo is killing my soul.

Again, after all this years, black thoughts wonder my mind, can't sleep, can't eat, thinking about drugs to kill the pain in my heart.
Only thing stopping me is caring all day for her.

I'm old, alone in my heart and broken

Is there any similar case with you guys, how did you cope with this, how did you help yourselves?

Thanks, D

a reply to: Dinamo

Yeah, I know your pain. My great mate was a pup I picked up from the RSPCA for my son. As he grew we went through a lot of adventures together in Northern Territory.

Years later we bought a farm in New South Wales and he had the run of 100 acres. Kind, respectful and playful mutt he was. He was 13 when we went to visit family for xmas. He was at home being looked after by a friend.

Sadly a snake got him. Died without me being there for him. I had an oath I would look after him all his life. Tragically, being in the bush, and on xmas there was no hope for a vet. He passed away on the lounge. Bled from the inside.

My mate placed him on ice until we made the trip back. Burying him, was, hard. Gave him a pillow, his blanket, some tucker, lead and collar. Lay him to rest in the garden under the shade of his favourite tree. (Mulberry). Little statue there for him too. Why I cried so much I don't know. Still cry. Being a sook, occasionally I go down to the tree and while cutting the lawn I chat with him. Always ends up in tears. Loved him to death.

If this is coping, I dunno. Ex serviceman myself and an LEO for near 27 years.

I feel your pain. Keep in touch. There for you mate,

kind regards,

bally

I lost one of my Great Pyrenees a little over a year ago. She was 16 at the time and we'd had her since she was 3 months old. She grew up with my kids and gave our family endless love and loyalty. I can honestly say that losing her was one of the main low points of my life.
I do not dwell on her death, I focus on the joy she gave us while she was here.

I found her in woods 14 years ago, almost dead. I fed her, I sang to her, I gave all my heart for the first time in my life. She responded with such love that I slowly quit drugs, banished anger from my life because I had to take care of that little thing.

You were given a gift when you needed it most. Don't waste it.

a reply to: Dinamo

Your post shows she was considered part of your family , console yourself with the knowledge that you gave her the best life you could and she was loved throughout it , many dogs are not so lucky to have such a loving home , don't dwell on the end celebrate her life and the good times you had together.

My sister and I still reminisce about our dog who died nearly 30 years ago , gone but never forgotten.

It's hard. A dog is part of the family. The loss is like losing a kid. People who don't have dogs don't understand.

Dinamo

Deal with it however you best see fit but please, there is no reason to fall into any self-destructive behaviors. Let your wife now how this impending loss is affecting you emotionally and mentally. Honestly, assuming you two have a healthy relationship, she should be your anchor through this experience. Also, keep in mind, no one lives forever and death is just a natural part of this experience. It's something we have all got to face.

Keep your head up 👍

originally posted by: Dinamo

So sorry for you But you have had all those years of love and unflinching

loyalty from your 'friend' she came into your life when you needed her,

so don't let her down now ..... you have something to live up to.


You won't want to hear this now, but its true time is a great healer, and there

will be a mistreated 'rescue' dog somewhere out there who needs you, not as

a replacement (that is not possible) but someone to fill the hole left in your

heart.

a reply to: Dinamo

You cope by doing the best for your friend in the end stages. I'm sure, after having been through it with cats, dogs , even horses.

They do appreciate you being there for them. Kudos for being there for a fur friend !

The next thing is to consider a rescue pet ... you know deep down I'm right.

The next special animal is waiting ...

My thoughts are with you in these tough times.

☺

a reply to: Timely

The next thing is to consider a rescue pet ... you know deep down I'm right.
The next special animal is waiting ...

Absolutely right mate , good homes are hard to find and many abandoned dogs need good homes.

a reply to: gortex

This is an animal person.

We will be there to both share the hurt and encourage a new journey.

Kudos and sympathies.

a reply to: Dinamo

It’s tough I won’t hide it, lost both of mine one rescue and one pup in under 12 months. Managed a whole fortnight before the pup arrived. Then two more!

There not replacements they’re new adventures and each one is special.

I keep the old guys name tag on my bunch of keys, sounds daft but with me always.

A good friend had a nose relief of hers made and carries that everywhere too. Couple of places make them professionally but you can get kits

www.preciousmetalprints.com...

Sounds daft but it’s reasurring to have something there and I often reach for it.

Only thing is people might think you’re playing pocket billiards

Bob

a reply to: Dinamo

If I have any advice, don't feel bad about the sadness and confusion you feel. You love this critter heart and soul. To go through her passing is crushing. If there are those who don't understand, who cares?

When we lose those close to us, it leaves a hole in our life. Learning to live with that hole takes time. We need to rebuild around it. I think that may be why humans build monuments to those we have lost. Something tangible in a feeble attempt to fill that hole.

Losing the furry ones has scared my heart over the years. I am 100% glad I got to know them and wouldn't change a thing to avoid the pain. I am still a more blessed person with holes in my heart than to never have known them.

Prayers going out to you and yours.

a reply to: Dinamo


What a heart breaking story, and as a dog lover and owner all I can say is that my heart goes out to you, and my thoughts are with you.
You're a hero for being there for your dog the way you are helping her through this emotional and tough time.
I went through a similar pain with an 11 year old male Weimaraner called Bishop (named after Bishop from "aliens").
In the end after tests, injections and different vets clinics, all my vet could offer (he said that he must be in a lot of pain) was a painless why out for him. It took a few days of emotional pain for me to decide to end his suffering, I spent every second with him and when the time came, I held him till he was gone.
I know this isn't any answer for you but all you can do is your best and try to be there for them.

a reply to: Dinamo

HI Dinamo,

Just know that you are not alone in your heart as you feel you are.


Too many of us have lost a friend so none of us are alone in that sense.


You said you found her 14 years ago and rescued her for her to make you a better person.


But the position you re now when you say this

Again, after all this years, black thoughts wonder my mind, can't sleep, can't eat, thinking about drugs to kill the pain in my heart.

you are being tested.

The strength gained to become a better man is being challenged.

Only thing stopping me is caring all day for her.

Which is trying to show you that the strength you gained to become a better person after you saved her is still there and being offered by her to help you get through the rough period ahead.

I must stay strong because of my wife and kids but I don't now how. I cry for days when I'm alone (I thought as ex soldier that I'll cope better but I don't) I hug her, care, praying god that she can get better or die, this status quo is killing my soul.

I was in a dark place a few years back.

I had a Rottweiler named Tyson and another named Sonja.

Tyson was 3 years older than Sonja.

On Dec.2nd 2012 Tyson passed.

Tyson had surgery a year or so before he passed.

IN the last year of his life, 3 times I vocalized very dark thoughts that came from frustration of not being a better person myself.

3 times when I was upset at Tyson I said "why don't you just Die".


The last time I said that to him was on Friday 30th November, 2 days before he passed.

Why did I say such a nasty thing to my companion that does nothing but love me with all his heart?

He was laying in the corridor which has wooden floors, I told him numerous times not to lay there because most times he needed help getting up because the wooden floor made his feet slip so when laying down it was hard to get his feet in the right position to get himself up.

He tried getting up and when I saw him I was already in a bad mood and upset about nothing in particular.

As I helped him up I was like a rough nurse helping a patient get up in which they have no care for,

as I was doing this I also said that nasty thing for the third time to him, I remember because its hard to say something like that and if you do there is no taking it back, so if you say it in a fit of rage then you really know you have lost yourself and lost all control over your negative emotions.

I didn't think about it or the other times I said that to him until the Sunday, 2 days after.

I woke up a bit later about 11 am and let him out in the backyard and went back to bed.

Woke up again at about 12.30 pm and went to see him.

He was laying half way on the grass and half on a concrete walk way I have in the back.

I helped him up to get comfortable on the grass and not on the concrete.

As soon as I got him up to move him he got very wobbly and a bit of clear fluid started to come out of his nose and he just died there as I was helping him up in my arms.

Did I kill him?

No one can convince me I didn't. I broke his heart.

Its very hard even today to not run my head into a wall because of the shame and anger I have towards myself for being able to say what I did.

But I have to live it and learn from it.


After Tyson passed I felt very peaceful, my sister came over everyday for about 2- 3 weeks so we could grieve together.

I have no memory of what or how Sonja was taking this because the peaceful state I thought I was in was just the calm before the storm.


After a few weeks my sister didn't come over for a while and we didn't talk for a while.

I started to change, I was always a person that believed in things that cannot be seen or touched, I was very faithful towards a spiritual side of consciousness due to many personal experiences that prove to an individual that God or some sort of intelligence greater than what can be imagined exists.

I started to loose his faith,

I cannot understand now looking back at why but it must have been the grief along with guilt that changed me and put me back on the downhill slope I was on before Tyson passed.

I got low.


After a few weeks of not speaking to my sister I called her one morning to tell her she needs to come and take Sonja as I cannot look after her.

The plan was to be alone and go even further into the darkness and get to........... ending it I guess.


She answered and started to listening and after a minute or 2 of me asking her to take Sonja she stopped me.

She said she was getting ready to come over to tell me something and it was funny that I rang her to tell her what I was.


She gets to my place and tells me about a dream she had the night before.

Remember I was lost, guilt stricken, convinced I killed Tyson and lost all faith in things I believed my whole life.


She starts telling me that she remembers the dream like waking up in field and Tyson coming up to her.

Tyson made her look in a certain direction and in the distance looking very lost was me with Sonja.

I was Lost and had lost my faith thinking that when we or any conscious life dies that's it, its like it never existed.

There was no meaning and no purpose.

When my sister told me her dream, I broke down.

The rush of emotions and faith I had lost all came back in that moment.

That helped me keep going, 6 years later and I am still here.


Made many more mistakes on the way and didn't rid myself anger but learned how to let things go a bit better and learned that words are very powerful and things said can have a lasting effect.

Is there any similar case with you guys, how did you cope with this, how did you help yourselves?

Its in no way similar other than pain felt because of the love one has for a dog.

I haven't really detailed how I coped but I guess time does heal or at least help you get gain a better understanding of yourself and why we do the things we do.

Time helped me, the longer I could go on the stronger I felt.

I cannot take back what I said but the fire inside that made me be so hateful to something I loved has been extinguished only for me to keep an eye on the ashes so they don't spark up again and keep an eye things I say from now on moving forth.


I logged on earlier to reply but thought I shouldn't, spent almost an hour typing out a post only to delete it.


Logged back on because I felt like you need to hear that what you did and are doing is being a greater person that I ever could see myself as.

You are not alone.

Back in 2004 there was something similar I had to deal with but the outcome differen

My Deda passed away, lived in Belisce, about an hour away from Osijek.

He had a Dog called Bill.


My sister an I went there (we live in Australia) to sort things out.

One thing was finding a place for Bill.


Things got bad and was struggling to find a new home for Bill and the only option was to give him an injection and put him down because he had no place to go.

I eventually got the strength up to say OK, if it has to be done then I will do it and bury him in the Forrest close to the Drava.

Yes, I say I had the strength but was crying like baby when there was no other way around it.

2 days before I was going to get the injection from a vet a family friend found someone in the next town Bistrinci that would take him.

The relief of not having to put him down was amazing.

after a few hours and logging in and out I Think I have said everything I wanted to.


I hope it somehow makes some sense to you

and I hope and pray you realize the strength you have not to step back but to keep moving forward.


She gave you strength which helped you to clean yourself up as you say become a better person.

The strength doesn't have to go with her when she leaves, Like I said she wont really leave your side, you just wont be able to see her.

But if you feel the strength she gave you then you are not seeing her but you are feeling her presence even after she has gone.

The rainbow bridge poem is something I want to put up but it makes me tear up every time I read it so I wont post it and let you google it if you really want to read it.


Please do read it, Its something I believe in or in my case I need to believe in it because of what I said in the past.


Sorry for rambling on,

a few things you said had me concerned for a fellow human and I had to ramble, hopefully my nonsense rambling means something and helps you realize the strength you say you gained and I believe still have.




Edit: Sonja is still with me, she just had surgery, the same as Tyson did, she is quite a bit older as well, she passed 9 years old in January.

She is my everything and have got a second chance to give her a better quality of life that I was able to give Tyson.

Much love to you and yours.

a reply to: Dinamo

This is still a fresh memory to me, so believe me when I tell you I understand. (see my thread here)

You cope one day at a time. You take one breath and then take another. You focus your energy on something else. Focus on your kids...devote some of that energy to each of them. Focus that energy on your relationships, or if you have another dog in the house...on that dog. It doesn't get any easier but it doesn't get harder. You do your best and know that your dog is always in your heart. Dogs do that to us...they teach us how to be better at being ourselves. Once we've become what they think we should become, they move on in search of another soul to tech those lessons to.

I hope this helps, the pain can be indescribable and deep, but you will get through it as long as you focus.

I have experienced exactly what you are feeling, I know it hurts.

Like InhaleExhale said, life does not end at death.

That is only where it BEGINS.

According to many near-death sources, animals have souls and go to heaven just as human beings do. Within this section of the site, you can read the testimonies of people who had an NDE and were reunited with their deceased pets. These testimonies describe animals as having a heaven of their own of which humans are allowed to visit. According to NDE researcher and experiencer P.M.H. Atwater, "Both adults and children occasionally report being greeted on the Other Side by animals, especially if favored pets have previously died. Communication with our deceased pets on the Other Side is by means of mental telepathy.

Near-Death Experiences with Deceased Pets

I forgot to mention that I had seen all the pets I had as a child in heaven. Dogs and even parakeets whom I really loved. They had a caretaker - a man who took care of all the animals. So if anyone ever asks me if animals survive death, I have to say, "Yes!"

Susan's Near-Death Experience

Maggi was there. My beautiful dog, my beloved springer, came to me. She had died less than a month before, and John and I still ached from her absence. I felt her presence, her love, and she appeared to me as she had when she was in physical form - only younger, more vital.

If you are having difficulty accepting the idea that my first encounter on the other side was with a dog, you aren't the only one. While John thought it perfectly natural, one of our daughters became a little, upset when I told her about it. I think she would have preferred that her mother be greeted by Jesus, an angel, or at least by a family member. ...whoever is responsible for setting up the Welcome Wagon over there certainly knew what a delightful experience it would be for me to be greeted by her.

Jan Price's Near-Death Experience with Her Pet Dog

Many have felt the physical presence of their animals after they have died:

Robert and Kathy Simmons' dog, Hobbes, passed away while their son was at university. When he returned home and was told his pet had died, Moe replied: 'That’s impossible. He was just here and I patted him.'

'There was one woman who told me that at times she could feel her cat sitting on her lap purring, even though the cat had passed away.'

Animals and the afterlife: The dead pets who get in touch with their owners

A child is reunited with her Angora kitten in Heaven (@ 16:30 min):

"I remember once seeing a beautiful little girl enter heaven, the very first to come of a large and affectionate family. I afterward learned that the sorrowful cry of her mother was, 'Oh, if only we had someone there to meet her, to care for her!'

She came, lovingly nestled in the Master's own arms, and a little later, as he sat, still caressing and talking to her, a remarkably fine Angora kitten, of which the child had been very fond, and which had sickened and died some weeks before, to her great sorrow, came running across the grass and sprang directly into her arms, where it lay contentedly. Such a glad cry as she recognized her little favorite, such a hugging and kissing as that kitten received, made joy even in heaven!

To Cope?
Cry. Rage. Laugh. Whatever YOU need to do. There is no right or wrong way. I've been through it too many times. But yet, like many of the other animal lovers here, you get past it, and sometimes, more often than not, you take in another, knowing it will happen all over again.
Because those few short years, of unconditional love, make the loss worth it.

But talk to your family. Don't hold back. You need each other.
After so many years, our family can speak happily of each animal we lost. And we still remember what we learned from each one.
That is their gift.

a reply to: Dinamo

I'm old, alone in my heart and broken

That's the saddest, most honest thing I have heard in a long time. I'm sorry.

I have lost many beloved pets, the most difficult were the ones who died in my arms. Some from which I have never recovered.

Just know that, especially regarding the story you told, that you saved that dog from near death and gave her the best damned life imaginable, and for that she and the universe are entirely grateful. You did a good thing.

Da li je ona imala bolji zivot zato sto te nasla? I da li si i ti imao bolji zbog nje?

Budi sretan zbog toga. Nadji mir u tome da ste oboje bili sretniji sve ove godine, oboje ste imali bolji zivot... i to nesto znaci.

Moj mali prijatelj je imao operaciju kicme prije par godina, i nema jos dugo -- mnogo razmisljam o tome danu i osjecam se kao i ti. Uvijek okrenem misli na to da trebam da budem sretan da smo se nasli.

Pozdrav