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originally posted by: Cymru
Afternoon ATS.
I'm not exactly at I expect from this post but getting it off my chest might help .
Last Monday, my Fiancee decided that I had to leave.
We had an affair years back back but life conspired to keep us apart.
Fast forward to 2010 and we bumped into eachother at random. In the years since we last spoke She had had a Daughter but found Herself a single Mum.
Initially the old feelings didn't come rushing back but keeping in touch as friends, it only took a few weeks to find myself head over heels all over again.
Taking on another Man's Child gave me a few second thoughts but my love for Her made that a non-issue.
I always felt She was the "One" even way back so times were good as I never even dreamed we would have a second chance at something so wonderful.
Recent years found her Daughter needing a kidney transplant and for two and a half years our lives revolved around everything that that entails.
Its not been a pleasant experience but we copied and Little One (now a teenager) has had successful transplant and I'm happy to say is doing extremely well.
At a time when we should be getting back to some sense of normality it seems we lost our way through the dialysis maze and stopped communicating. Something I never imagined as that was one of the many traits I loved about her.
We both admit that we have made mistakes and should have talked sooner but She now wants no part of any relationship and to bring her daughter up alone.
Engagement ring off,my door key back and all my gear either in the boot of my car or in storage.
I now find myself on my Mum's settee in the evening and spending all day trying to occupy myself to mask the huge void in my life.
My Angel has gone.
Given the communication issues I partly understand but I also feel utterly used as this came about after the transplant.
She won't explain anything to me other than not wanting anyone any more.
The pain is horrendous.
originally posted by: Cymru
a reply to: Justoneman
Thanks Guys.
As for feelings, I'm talking about the only Woman I have ever wanted to Marry.
originally posted by: CulturalResilience
Listen my friend, you may not like what I am going to say to you, but is a genuine attempt to save you from further pain. Your former fiancée has been exercising the modern Alpha F..ks and Beta Bucks strategy and you have been on the sh.ty end of it. Lift heavy weights often and work on being a total jerk boy douche bag. You will do much better with women if you adopt that winning strategy.
originally posted by: KansasGirl
originally posted by: CulturalResilience
Listen my friend, you may not like what I am going to say to you, but is a genuine attempt to save you from further pain. Your former fiancée has been exercising the modern Alpha F..ks and Beta Bucks strategy and you have been on the sh.ty end of it. Lift heavy weights often and work on being a total jerk boy douche bag. You will do much better with women if you adopt that winning strategy.
Cymru: about the advice above, I need to say ignore the "be a douche bag" part, becUse you sound wonderful! Do not change. You sound like a wonderful man that some woman is going to be so lucky to have, whether it's this current one if she comes to her senses, or someone else, even though I know you can't picture that right now.
Going to the gym is totally great advice though- that's always helped me through breakups.
originally posted by: Cymru
a reply to: dfnj2015
This is just the point. We both respected eachother and made no attempts to change personalities.
Its the most comfortable, loved and wanted I've ever felt. Previous incarnations have tried to change who I am and I loved her even more for allowing me to b me and that was reciprocated.